Supermommie's Beautiful Life

Standing on My Soapbox

2012-02-07T15:44:00.000-08:00

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people say "God isn't going to give you more than you can handle". If you've ever said that to me and I've blown up at you, I'm sorry.

It's simply not true.

Someone tell me where in the Bible that little tidbit is, will you?

I'm going to give you a hint: it's not there.

It's a misquote. It's someone's bad interpretation of 1 Corinthians 10:13. Let me lay that one out for you.

"No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it." (NASB)

Okay, where does that say that I'm going to be able to handle my 4 crazy kids? Does it say God thinks I can handle a child with autism? Or a set of twins? Does it say anything about me being able to control my circumstances? NO!

This verse is all about temptation. Honestly, the biggest temptation for me is to wallow in self-pity over everything that I'm supposed to be handling. I have an escape from that self-pity, though. I can just hand over all my problems to God and let him handle them. It's not easy, but since I'm fleeing the temptation to dwell on the negative, my escape is to let go of the negative and give it all over to the only One who can handle it. It doesn't mean that I'm suddenly more of a superwoman and I handle MS, autism, twins, and everything else on my list that makes me a huge sob story. It means that God can handle MS, autism, twins, and anything else because He is in charge.

Here's a good verse "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."Philippians 4:13 (NASB). There's the empowering verse! I can do all things! Not with my own power and brains, but through HIM! He is the one who is supplying the power here. I can't handle anything alone. It's only through Him that I can do anything.

The reality is: God isn't going to give you anything in life that He can't handle. He is the one handling my problems. He is the one who makes me Supermommie. I have super powers. The cool thing is that God is offering those super powers to you too.

Science Fair

2012-01-25T14:13:00.000-08:00

Becca has asked for the last few years if she can do a science project. The problem is that she asks the day before it's due...until this year. She finally decided to take the time to do a project right. I told her she wasn't going to turn something in that is rushed and horrible, so she finally got the idea that she should ask me about it while the school was on winter break.

It began with an idea. She wanted to google a good project, so she started there. She liked the idea of letting food rot, but I couldn't deal with that. She moved on to the idea of a recipe and changing it to see what happens. I asked her what she wanted to make and the googling started again. She found a YouTube video of a guy who made super balls and got stuck there.

The confusion began. She wanted to work with a partner, but she didn't clearly talk to her partner about doing it. In the end, it was still less than a week before the project was due that they actually started.

Becca and her friend, Reina, came over to my house to do the experiment. Over and over they made these balls and bounced them, then changed the recipe and bounced again. They worked and worked for hours. The next day, they came back to start putting their notes together in a notebook. They decided that they needed to type it. This would have been no big deal to me if it weren't for the fact that they took 20 minutes typing the title page. They asked if I would type it for them.

I began to type. The girls wrote what they wanted for a while, but when I was typing a lot faster than they were writing, they started to dictate what they wanted on the page. The temptation to correct them at times was overwhelming! I figured I could ask questions to make them think about what they were saying, but I wasn't going to give them the answers. In the end, there were so many grammatical errors, I made them read the thing aloud to each other so that they could hopefully figure out what was wrong...it mostly worked.

They went to school to turn in their notebook and it was sent back immediately. They did too much work. They were told to cut some things out of their experiment. I went to the teacher in charge of the science fair and asked about it. I asked her if it would be okay if they split the project and turned in both so they didn't have to throw away work that they did. She loved the idea.

Another afternoon in my house! They split the project up and then made their boards for the science fair. My cricut got a workout that day. Want to see a picture of their boards?

I really wish I would have known when the science fair was, but there was no announcement at the school, no papers that went home with dates...nothing. The few kids that came had parents that were teachers, except one who found it on the district website. In the end, Becca still got an award.

Sorry about the quality of that pic. It was an unexpected moment and all I had was my phone. We were in the school office and I happened to be there to volunteer in Ali's class that day when Becca was called to receive her award for 1st place. Reina got 2nd. They didn't get sweepstakes and move on, but this was good for the first time. Now I know what questions to ask for next year...like when is the science fair?

Now we are off to celebrate!

The House of Many Hats

2012-01-17T17:29:00.000-08:00

My husband's grandfather passed away recently. Tony blogged about him here. My husband's inheritance? A lot of hats. Okay, he got a whole lot from his grandfather in life too, but the physical stuff that is affecting my life are these hats.

I haven't actually counted them. There are quite a few. Currently there are 4 huge bags (not little bags, big yard bags) filled with them sitting in my living room.

My kids' only memory of their great-grandfather is going into his hat room (yes, there was a room in his house filled with them) and picking out a hat for a parade that went through the house. They saw the hats and immediately remembered. The hats are a huge legacy, and there's no way that they are just going away.

So, we have a lot of hats. They can't stay in bags in my living room...what now? I am sitting here trying to figure out what to do with the hats. I want a house with order and less chaos (I know, I'm dreaming), but those hats can easily take over. I just don't know what to do.

I am debating the idea of using my mom's room. Many of you may know that my mom moved out a little over a year ago, but the thing is she still keeps a room here. She's said she likes the idea of us using the room as a spare bedroom and putting a TV in there or whatever. She just wants to be able to keep a set of clothes over here, so she doesn't need much closet space. I am going to use her closet for linens as soon as soon as I get to organizing that room (in case you don't know, I'm organizing one space a week in my house and blogging about it here). I have this color scheme in mind for that room and it didn't include the multicolored mass of outrageous hats (actually, not all of them are outrageous...but most are). I just don't know if I want to go there...and I'm not sure my mom would be so thrilled either.

My favorite idea so far has been to make a collage of the kids wearing each hat and putting that up somewhere and storing the hats somehow somewhere for later use. My husband loves these hats and really, they are very much his type of thing, so they aren't going to just disappear, but storing them is probably an option.

So the debate in my head begins. What do I do? If I do put them up on display in there, how do I display them? If I only display a few, which ones should I choose? What do I do with the rest? Should I just take pictures of them and make them all just sit in a closet somewhere?

So...what do you think? What should I do with all the hats?

Devotional

2012-01-12T07:36:00.000-08:00

My pastor asked me to write a devotional for our church as we go through our Pray First emphasis. I have never done anything like this before, so I thought I'd blog it first while I figure out what I am doing.

Surrender - Turning to God

I juggle a lot of things in my life. I'm a wife, a mother to four beautiful kids, a business woman, a community volunteer, and several other things. I try to do all of those things while being a follower of Christ. My schedule may seem chaotic, my house may rarely (if ever) perfect, and I rarely get to the gym. Sometimes I'm juggling a few hats at once and I usually fail when there's too many things in the air. My problem is usually that I'm using my hands to do the juggling, and I'm just not that coordinated.

A few years ago I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. I got the diagnosis after having gone blind in one eye for a while and still trying to function, then finally I was really slowed down by paralysis. I had no use of my arms or legs. In my hospital room I was changing the channel on the TV by blowing into a tube. People had to come feed me. For someone who felt so capable and used to caring for so many others, I felt helpless. I couldn't believe God would allow me, who did so much for Him to no longer be able to do anything.

I was in the hospital for a few weeks. I learned how to function while on the treatments to help me get back to "normal"...or as "normal" as I could get while having lesions on my brain. While I was in the hospital, I had a lot of time to myself...something I wasn't used to in my house full of people. I didn't want to pray because I was mad at God, but the Holy Spirit just wasn't letting go. I had to surrender. I was reminded of the fact that God had everything under control without my "help" every time my kids came to visit me. I was reminded that He was in charge when kids from my Sunday School class came to pray for me. God had all of my juggling balls up in the air without my hands!

It shouldn't have shocked me, but I felt slapped. I began to pray for the use of my limbs again, but I wanted God to be the one to move them. He is so much more coordinated than I am. I wanted him to use me still, but allowing him to be the One who moved me. I had to give up the ability to use my hands and legs so that I would allow Him to use them. He gave me back the use of my limbs, but I gave the use of my limbs to Him.

“I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself up for me” (Galatians 2:20).

Missions and Prayer

2012-01-05T17:19:00.000-08:00

Becca is going on a mission trip this Summer. I'm kinda doing the mom freak out...still, and I've known since mid-December.

The whole thing started a couple of years ago. Becca saw the flier for mission trips through Teen Missions International. Tony gets it every year because he went a few times as a teenager. At the time it was no big deal because there was no way she was going to go to Florida at 6...and she wasn't old enough to be a Peanut (7-9 year olds are Peanuts there) anyway. She asked to go the next year. I put her off thinking that she would forget about it. The next year she saw the flier and asked again. We were in the middle of Girl Scouts and I put her off again because we were so busy all the time that I was sure we wouldn't have time.

The flier came again for this year's mission trips and she asked again. She came to me with the argument that she isn't too busy this year because she didn't want to start anything new with starting "the hard GATE class" at school. She said she didn't want to be bored this summer and she has been wanting to be a missionary since she was first saved. She did, too. Saved at 6, she immediately felt this burden to tell others. She's very open about telling people about Jesus.

Her argument was valid. I hated to say no. The problem was that the trip is in FLORIDA! I didn't want her traveling across the country! There is no way I'm putting my 8 year old on a plane by herself to cross the country! Sure, there are ways, but I don't even let her cross a street by herself, much less the country.

I prayed about it for a while and talked to Tony. He was just surprised that it's taken me this long to realize that Becca needs to go. She's not your "normal" 8 year old, very mature. I'm just the mom trying to be overprotective when I just can't. She has to do what she has to do.

Anyhoo, Tony and I decided that if she was going to Florida, someone was going to travel with her. Tony can't do it because he won't have enough vacation time. He's going to be taking a week and going to umpire training at Western Regionals this year. Not enough time left after other stuff that is going on too.

That leaves me. We originally started this thinking I'd have someone to travel with us and we'd take a road trip, but that may not work, so we're thinking airplane because I really can't drive out there alone. I'll stay out in Florida doing...I don't know what...for the week while she is there and fly back with her. Yeah, it seems a little weird, but I don't like the other options. I don't have the money to take all the other kids with me and go to Disney World or anything. That would be cool, though. If I had the money, I'd rent an RV for the trip and just take anyone who wants to come, but that's pretty pricey.

So, here I am. I told Becca that she has to raise the money it would cost for her to go on the trip, not my tickets or anything, so her goal is $1000 by May to do the trip. So far in her plans is a lemonade stand, a bake sale, and possibly a dinner. She's also working for my grandma once a week doing vacuuming and stuff for her. I think she's going to make it...I'm just not sure I will.... :)

Happy New Year!

2012-01-03T15:40:00.000-08:00

It's 2012.

Micah decided that this is the year he's going to change the world. Cool, huh?

This year Becca will be going on her first mission trip with Teen Missions International. She's going to Florida (I know, she's only 8!) to bake cookies and share the love of God to our troops stationed there.

This year Ali and Zoe will finish their first year of school.

This year my business is going to take off (I hope and pray)!

This year I'm going to be doing a weekly blog about my house going from chaos to beautiful...with pictures. I'm going to be brave and post before and after. It's going to be crazy. You should totally watch.

I'm also determined to get through the Bible again this year. I've put off going through the Bible in a year for a few years. I used to do it almost every year but I haven't done it in a while...like, since before the twins were born.

Okay, that's about it. I don't really do resolutions, but it seems like I'm doing that this year. I just feel like I need goals to keep me going for a while. I've been too frustrated without something real and specific to strive for.

Update

2011-12-14T17:03:00.001-08:00

Hi Everyone!

I know, it's been a while.

Here's my update:

My last post was pre-Black Friday, so I'll start there. I did the Black Friday thing, worked out my plans, then busted them. Walmart was crazy. I knew it was going to be, but this year was so bad. Now, going in Hemet I assumed that people would be way nicer again like they were last year...there's a problem with assuming things. I didn't get a fist, but everything else. Elbows, shoving, I saw someone slap another person...it was awful. It was like people felt that they had a license to be rude just because it was Black Friday. At Target it wasn't bad, but they had a lot of police there and they only let people in the store 20 at a time...seriously. Even though people were out in the cold wrapped around the building. It was so sad. Kmart wasn't awful, but I didn't try to go near electronics there or I probably would have been hurt. It was so horrible.

Later that day I started to feel awful. Teddy Bear Tea waits for no sickness, however, and I wasn't convinced I was sick until I got there anyway. It turns out I had the flu. This lasted 3 days. Then Zoe got the flu, then Ali, then Becca, then Micah...then Tony. My house was out of it for about a week.

The kids went back to school. The first 2 days back Ali and Zoe both had subs. Apparently having Kindergarteners come back to consistancy isn't incredibly important to some administrators who felt that all the teachers needed training.

The next Monday, Ali and Zoe started full days. I have a few more hours in my day...I thought. Nope! There's too many things to do! It doesn't matter how much time I seem to have to myself, I still manage to mess it up with plans. I'm still volunteering 2 days a week with the twins' classes, then I have Clever Container stuff to do, cleaning house, running errands, helping my grandmother, making Christmas presents...too much stuff on my plate...which made me mess up along the way.

I lost my wallet. I know where I was when I used it last, I know what I did...it was all at home. Still, we checked the stores I went to that day, we searched the whole house (did a lot of cleaning that needed to be done before Christmas anyway) and in the end we gave up. Yesterday I went around all over town replacing everything that could be replaced. I was so frustrated.

What else could happen? I got a call from my Sister in Law, Carrie. Tony's mom's dad (are you still following me? Tony's grandpa) isn't doing well and Audrey (my MIL) needed to drive up to see him...today. She was going to go up by herself, but I asked her if she wanted somone to go with her and she loved that idea.

So here I am. Napa. My mom has the kiddos after school, so all is well at home. It was a 10 hour drive started really early this morning. Now I sit and wait (relaxing after a long car ride) while my MIL and her siblings talk to the doctors.

Okay, I think you are all caught up. I should probably get back to the rest of the world now.

Black Friday is Coming! Oh, yeah, Thanksgiving too....

2011-11-16T17:37:00.000-08:00

Today I was making my list of things that I would like to get on Black Friday. The annual event that makes people everywhere crazy makes me pretty crazy too.

I've blogged about this crazy day in the past. I love watching people shop like maniacs. I mostly go for the people.

This year there are a few deals that I want. I don't usually shop for electronics any other time of the year because I don't want to pay more than I have to. I'm often seen in the line at Best Buy at 2am on Black Friday, but as I look at the preview ads on bfads.net, I'm pretty sure I'm going to skip that one this year. I'm not going to spend my Thanksgiving in line there, so I'm not going to get the cheap laptop (there's never more than 2 in the store for those things).

This year I'm hitting Walmart (I usually avoid that place because crazy people tend to literally run each other over there), probably Kmart, and Sears. I'm still debating over Toys R Us.

I usually debate over Kmart. Their main sale is on Thanksgiving. I'm squeezing in the time this year because of a couple of deals I can't pass up. Thanksgiving for us is half the day with my family, half the day with Tony's. We'll be staying the night out in Hemet and leaving the house to my mom. I like Black Friday in Hemet. There are fewer people there and people watching is a completely different.

After the morning shop, the girls and I will be hitting the road to the Teddy Bear Tea Party in Riverside. It's an annual Escarzaga girls tradition. The girls all love sitting with Santa and enjoying the fun show that is always performed. It's great fun.

After that I hit the sack. I'm so tired by that point that I'll never be able to function if I don't get sleep.

That's my Thanksgiving weekend...or at least the first part.

Thankfulness

2011-11-01T09:57:00.001-07:00

This month the kids and I are talking about thankfulness.

I know, nothing like going with the obvious.

We are starting on the 2nd because yesterday was really busy. I really wanted to do it every day, but that just didn't work out right. Each day we will be writing down one thing that we are thankful for. On Thanksgiving we will take the paper and look at all the different things that we are thankful for and praise God.

Cool plan, huh?

Today I'm thankful for the trash collector. The trash can didn't make it to the curb in time last week so we had an enormous amount of trash and it's really windy. I'm sure that their job is really hard on windy days.

That's me today. I'll be asking the kids after dinner and we will make our charts.

The Stereotypical SAHM

2011-10-27T13:46:00.000-07:00

This week I feel trapped in a stereotype. I spend 2 of my mornings a week volunteering in my Kindergarteners' classes at school. I did all the normal chores at home in attempt to make my house as presentable as possible. I did 4 parent/teacher conferences and 2 awards assemblies. I'm also sewing a Halloween costume, shopping clearance racks for Christmas toys (Did you know everyone is clearing out a bunch of toy to get ready for the holiday rush? I picked up a bunch of stocking stuffers for next to nothing.), took the kids to the pumpkin patch for fall pictures and pumpkins, took the kids to the library for their Fall Festival thing, and I'm also baking for a bake sale for soccer on Saturday and a cake walk on Monday. Then planning everyone's outfits and stuff for red ribbon week (crazy hair day is tomorrow and that is all the girls' favorite). Oh, and don't forget taking the boy to soccer tomorrow and of course his therapy sessions that happen every week...I think that's everything.

Did I miss anything for the stereotype?

I don't have any girls in ballet...yet. Becca is practicing the violin, though. I think I've hit just about everything.

There's nothing there that is particularly bad, I'm just feeling like the mom from some TV show. It's not really me. I really don't like to sew, but I'm just too cheap to go buy a sheep costume for Ali (Becca is going to be Little Bo Peep, Ali is her sheep...they decided to update the nursery rhyme, though, and Ali will be wearing a GPS tracker...even my kids refuse to be normal). I'm not a baker normally, but I'm not going to be around to help sell stuff on Saturday, so I'm guilt-ed into making something for the soccer bake sale. Parent/teacher conferences are just a fact of life, no getting around those without being an out-of-touch mom.

I've probably got an excuse for everything, and there's nothing wrong with being the stereotype, I'm just wishing for a chance to go to work out at the gym...of course that's another bit of the stereotype too.

I just don't like being "normal".

It's a weird thing to complain about, I guess. Kinda crazy. Someone pass me the happy pills, I've joined the blah mom club.

Running and stuff

2011-10-20T13:26:00.000-07:00

I am an active person normally. I seem to have gotten out of that routine and it's starting to drive me crazy.

One of my goals in life is to do a triathlon. I love swimming, biking...and I'll do the running too. I know that one day I'm going to be able to do that kind of thing. I'd like to do it before MS has me in a wheelchair again or some other nonsense.

Today I went online to find a race. I thought about it and I really want to do it soon...like next year. There's a triathlon in San Bernardino in June. I think I want to go for it...but I have to be in shape. I can do it, right?

If you look at me, you would see how out of shape I am. I'm going to have to work hard to do this. It means trips to the gym all the time, it means running to pick up the kids...and anywhere else I can do it. It's going to be work.

My other goals in life I can do if I'm a quadriplegic, but this one not really something I want to do from a wheelchair. I say that as if I'm absolutely going to be paralyzed later in life, but I don't really know that. MS is a funny thing. You never know how hard or how long or how it's going to strike. You just go with the flow and hope your brain cooperates.

So. Here we go. I'm going to sign up for it in January if I commit myself to the rest of this year training and shaping up. If I can make it that far, I'll sign up for something small in January, then something small in February, and so on until June. June will be my big one. If I like it and am able to, I'll continue. If I don't, I won't. I still want to work on my goal.

After I'm done with this, I'll work on my husband letting me skydive...or maybe my novel...or something else.

I'm no good at this

2011-10-19T16:08:00.000-07:00

Blogging every day is killing me. I can't do it.

First of all, it's really hard to do that when life is happening. Secondly, I'm not blogging about my life, I'm giving tips and researching and that's work...it's taking too much time...then I fall behind. If you have tried following Chaos Made Beautiful, I'm sorry. It's just crazy for me right now.

Monday I went to the doctor. I had this fun heart problem (because I needed something else wrong with me). I sat there while they made sure it wasn't immediately life threatening. It wasn't. Immediately. Anyhoo, the doctor is going to put me on a monitor for a while so they can find out what it is.

Hooray.

What else is going on? Micah's bus is having ridiculous issues again. The bus driver is telling me it's all my fault because I argued for a different route...but I know otherwise because I have spies. Apparently she's just throwing a fit because I won the battle. Now I'm going to have to strike again to win the war. I can't stand that lady;s attitude. She yells at me in front of the kids. I realize that I'm making her look bad, but if she would do her job correctly we wouldn't have this problem.

Other than that? I'm having financial issues (who isn't?).

No, I didn't have a panic attack. The doctor asked me if I thought that was what the heart thing was...I laughed. I said if I didn't have one at any other point in my life, it I wouldn't start having them now. If I was going to have a panic attack, it would have been when Micah's seizures were regular, or when he was diagnosed, or when the twins were babies, or when Tony was out of work, or any other crazy point in my roller coaster life. It wouldn't be on a Monday. I love Mondays.

Restraint

2011-10-10T12:59:00.000-07:00

Today I wanted to take the head off of my daughter's substitute teacher.

It is only by the grace of God that this woman survived the day.

I have begun a habit of helping out in Ali's class on Mondays, and Zoe's class on Thursdays. Today Ali had a substitute. I hesitate to help when subs come in because they don't know routines, fail to follow directions left by teachers, and generally drive me nuts. Today Ali was so looking forward to me staying that I didn't leave after all.

Ali has a little boy in her class with autism. He's fairly high functioning and really smart. I've talked with him off and on when I visit the class. I really like the kid. He loves Inspector Gadget and likes to talk about him...a lot. I tell him I will listen to him at recess all the time. He's a good kid. Ali's teacher is great with him. He listens and redirects in an amazing way. There are days when this boy is difficult, but Ali's teacher has so much patience and understanding. The fit is perfect.

Enter Sub Lady.

I listened to her reassure parents who didn't need reassuring that their children would be okay with her. No biggie. She just didn't read adults very well. Not a necessity.

I watched her play right into the hands of the little girl who loves to run the classroom and praise her for all her help...constantly. To the point where this little girl was practically telling her what to do. I tried not to let it bother me since the class was still running well and the kids were still getting their work done.

The thing that really go to me was when she just continually picked on the little boy with autism. She would call on him every time to answer a question. She praised little and bugged him a lot. The thing is, he was having a really good day. He was on task most of the time, he wasn't disruptive and he followed directions really well. It was a great day for him...except for when Sub Lady kept picking on him. I wanted to tell her to leave him alone.

Recess came around and the kids usually sit and have a snack at the beginning. The little boy had a yogurt in his bag and spilled it on himself. No big deal.... I took him to the office so they could call his parents because he really spilled it everywhere. The thing that made me really angry was her comment as we left, "they really should send him clothes because you know those kids always have accidents."

I walked away. I couldn't say anything to her at all without taking her apart and we were on the playground with a bunch of kindergarteners listening. I was so angry.

Zoe's teacher was walking back from break then and took one look at me and said "uh oh. Is everything okay?" I was still so angry and there were still kids around so I just said "I really like Mr. (Ali's teacher)". I kept walking the boy to the office and left him in the hands of the wonderful understanding school nurse.

I walked back to the playground praying that she didn't say anything at all about the boy the rest of the day and that the mom just took him home. God heard my cry and answered. The boy was rescued.

I went through the rest of the day just trying to go with the flow. The little girl who really needed to be told that the teacher would tell the instructions still pretty much ruled the class. Ali just sat and did her work. She was a little tired and could tell that I wasn't a happy camper. Poor kid probably knew why I was angry too. I felt so bad.

I left hoping that Ali's teacher returns tomorrow. I just don't think I could stand to know that Sub Lady is going to be there tomorrow.

Seizures and MS

2011-10-03T18:11:00.001-07:00

It's tough to be a parent. It's tough to be a parent of a child with autism. It's tough to be a parent of a child with autism and a seizure disorder. It's tough to be a parent of a child with autism and a seizure disorder when you have multiple sclerosis.

Now that it is well established that my life is tough, I'll stop whining.

Today Micah had a seizure. I was helping out in Ali's class today when I got a call from Micah's school saying that he isn't feeling well, he doesn't have a fever or anything but he isn't acting right. He was laying down a lot and complained of a headache. I wasn't sure it wasn't just allergies going crazy, but I figured I'd take him home and give him some meds. I picked him up explaining that he could go home, but he would have to go to school the next day. I started to drive home then remembered that I didn't have any children's tylenol at home so I stopped at Target on the way. We picked up a few things and headed back to the car. We got to the car, took him out of the cart he was riding in, and as I got him in the car, the seizure started.

Relax, I've been there before. I hate it, but at least I know what to do...it has been a while, though.

So a little over a minute later the seizure stops, I buckle him in then head over to the hospital. It's been too long to not have documentation and hopefully a reason for the seizure's return.

I got to the ER and the parking lot is crazy. There's construction going on at the hospital and there's never a good place to park. I convince the security guard to let me park somewhere pretty close because Micah doesn't look like he's going to be able to walk. Carrying a 10 year old anywhere is crazy hard.

I get there and check him in and he's still not walking well. They weigh him and I noticed that he had lost 5 lbs since I weighed him last...a lot for a skinny kid like him. Micah is pretty out of it at this point. Still not walking well. At least they have wheel chairs.

I was really surprised in the ER when they put in the IV. Micah never sits still for a shot. It usually takes 4 or 5 people to keep him down. They hadn't successfully given him an IV since he was a baby...not for lack of trying. This time he was as quiet and still as he could be.

Not my normal kid.

The ER doctor came and asked a ton of questions to make sure he understood what was happening (and also to make sure I knew what I was talking about when I told him that Micah had a seizure I'm sure). He had a bunch of blood drawn and paged Micah's regular neurologist. We waited. And waited. And waited. Micah's neurologist didn't get back to the ER doctor at all. A few hours passed and Micah was visibly recovering. You could tell that he wasn't feeling bad any more.

Micah sick in the ER is one thing, but Micah feeling better and wanting to go home is another. He kept randomly calling out to people passing by his bed telling them that he wanted to go home. One time he heard that he can't go home with an IV in his arm...you can imagine what happened after that. Keeping him safe from himself suddenly became my priority. His nurse had a pretty good sense of humor about her irate 10 year old patient. She kept telling him what she was waiting on. The doctor came by and Micah told him to "let me go home! I'm hungry and you have to let me go get a smoothie!" Over and over and over he repeated this so much that the guy who came in on a gurney stopped and asked the doctor if he could "just give the kid a smoothie!"

Micah came home with no answers. I'm just supposed to follow up with his neurologist to see what he wants to do.

I want Micah better on his own. I don't want to give him seizure meds. He's usually a zombie when he's on those.

I am wiped out. Bone tired in the most literal sense. I feel exhaustion all the way to my core. Not good for MS. I hope my brain functions tomorrow. I have an IEP.

Here Goes....

2011-09-30T10:47:00.000-07:00

I decided to start a new blog. This one is going to be about my adventures in organizing. I'll talk about all the products from Clever Container and all the tips on organizing that I'm getting along the way. I'm explaining it all in the first blog. It's coming...the link...it's HERE! There you go, Chaos Made Beautiful.

Mostly I'm doing it because I would like to talk about the stuff without feeling like I'm selling stuff to my friends on this blog. Plus I don't want to have my life be all about organization. Really, I'm still just me. This blog is going to stay more about me and my adventures in parenting and life. I'll have stuff there about organizing my kids and such, but I don't think I'll stick to it.

Anyhoo, if you want to follow that blog, YAY! If not, following this blog is going to still be worth it...if you want to know more about me and my family anyway. The challenge I'm giving myself in this blog to start everything off is to blog every day of October. That should be fun. I've got a lot of fun stuff lined up. I'm probably not going to blog daily here...I never really have, so that's not going to be a shock for you. I'll be scheduling it in to blog here...no, nevermind, that's not going to happen. I blog here when there's something I need to say.

That's all I needed to say for now. :)

Rough Day

2011-09-28T19:01:00.001-07:00

Today has been rough.

My day started with rushing kids out the door for school like normal. It seems like no one is ever on time around here unless I use a cattle prod. After that rush I spent time cleaning up the mess from the night before that I had gotten too tired to take care of, as well as the mess left by rushing kids out the door. This takes about 30 minutes then I hear a knock on the door...oh no. It's Wednesday.

Micah's behavior therapy is moving from the tutor working with him to the tutor "teaching" me. I use the quotation marks because I've read the book that they are teaching out of, I've been through the slide show, I've basically taken the class before. They keep using excuses with this "class" because it's one on one and individualized to what Micah needs right now, but the reality is, I'm talking to my "teacher" and telling her how to make data forms more effective and showing her ways to streamline her teaching sessions. I'm basically adjusting Once a month her supervisor comes in and we actually stick to the program.

So this morning I forgot it was Wednesday. To be honest, the therapy lady isn't all that consistent anyway, but really it's my fault for not looking at my calendar that morning. Good thing I'd at least cleaned up, but I was hoping for a little quiet time. Not happening.

Instead I got a lecture about taking data on the weekends (one phone app is all it would take for me to record stuff. Paper doesn't fit in my life), and going over stuff she's required to talk about so I can have my hours of Micah therapy.

The morning is shot, I didn't even make it to the bank in the morning like I needed to and so I'd have to take the twins with me after school. Hooray! They love me at the bank when I do that!

I pick up the twins and it's obvious that Ali has had some sugar that morning because she is just everywhere. She can't sit still, she can't stop talking, and she is just nuts. She said her friend gave her candy (lecturing a sugar high 5 year old is ineffective-- for those of you non parents or parents who just haven't had that lovely experience).

So I run to the bank with a sugar high child and her giggly twin, run back home in time to grab Becca's art supply bin for her ATC party thing after school, then rush back to the school to get her because it's a minimum day. I then transport Becca with supplies to friend's house, then rush home to make sure I'm there in time for Micah's bus...apparently I didn't need to rush. His bus came 45 minutes later. Apparently the bus driver lady takes the 1 hour limit for Micah's bus ride and assumes that he has to be on the bus for the whole hour. During that hour I'm fielding a work call, sending off a really important couple of emails (one that I couldn't find the info for so I had to get in touch with Tony so he could save me), and giving the twins magic erasers so they can clean the stuff off the walls that they just decided to draw there. I was really happy to see the bus arrive.

I put 3 kids in the car and go to hang out with Becca and let the twins make ATC's too. Micah doesn't care and wants the DS. Whatever.

After the girls have gotten their crafting on, we clean up and head home. Micah begins his after school chart. This is part of his therapy. I'm not totally convinced it's working, but since it's taking up half my wall in the living room now, it's happening. Tantrum begins as soon as he gets to the chores. He's figured out that I'm not feeling super today, so he presses his luck assuming that I'm giving in...nope, not happening. The problem is, as soon as he figures out I'm not feeling great, he gets physical. I got kicked, hit, slammed, but he took out the trash. Next step, homework. I got him over to his backpack and he starts laughing...I opened it and didn't find the folder. I have no idea what he did with it, but he swears it's at school. Nothing I can do about that.

Next therapy project. Oh, and along the way I'm trying to help 2 Kindergarteners with homework, fielding questions from the 3rd grader about vocabulary ("can't I just google the answer?"...NO!), and attempting to answer the phone when important business calls come in. Yeah, I can do all that....

I finally get everything done, kids all finish homework, everyone sits to relax for a minute with Micah on the Wii and the girls watching him play...then Daddy walks in the door.

I haven't started dinner.

Nevermind, I don't need a break. I get up and start something when I realize that my oven stopped working AGAIN!

I lost it. I started to cry. Tony came in the kitchen and moved me out. I went to my room. I heard him send the girls off to clean their room. The girls obeyed without much fuss. All was right...until I heard the sound of the toilet not quite flushing. Bad mom forgot to buy toilet paper and one of the girls used a baby wipe...or maybe 2 or 3...then tried to flush them. Tony comes in and tells me he's going to run to the store. No! I want to go! I rush out for my retail therapy (okay, I bought toilet paper, but it was still theraputic) and come back just a bit happier than when I left.

Why was this day rough? Mostly because I forgot to look at the calendar at the beginning and plan my day right from the start. I found myself just feeling like I needed to catch up all the time. Tomorrow will be better. I'm going to be a super mom tomorrow. Today I'm just Super Dad's sidekick. Not horrible, but I keep getting into trouble.

Micah's Birthday!!!!

2011-09-27T14:00:00.001-07:00

We had a blast at Micah's birthday party. I'm so relieved.

Inviting his whole SDC class (that his class for kids with special needs) made me pretty leery. I mean, what do you do with all those kids of differing abilities? Jumping Jacks was the perfect fit. There were no games to play, not much needed in the way of food (we did just cupcakes at the end and tacos for those who came a little early). It was so easy. No clean up, everyone was satisfied and had fun.

Only 3 of Micah's classmates came out of 15 in his class. This was not unexpected because going to parties is not always as easy for our kids as it is for "normal" kids. I can take my girls to a birthday party with no problem, but if I take Micah, I have way more prep work to do. Still, 3 kids from his class came, and that was awesome! These kids were the ones who really like Micah too. One of the kids has been in the same class with Micah for many years and was so excited to see that he could play with Micah away from school. Micah played with him (well, as much as he plays "with" kids anyway) and they had fun.

Micah's cousins all came from Dad's side. My family is all a bit far or a bit young to make it to the nighttime party. They all loved playing on the bounce houses and just running around. The adults all had fun too. I have an interesting video of Tony and his brother playing in one of the arenas together...it's special.

One of the kids from our church came, and that was great. He's an awesome kid and really had fun. Also, a couple of friends from our last church made it and had a blast jumping around with us too.

Overall, we had 18 kids there and everything was so smooth. No tantrums, no weirdness because of food, just fun.

A great time was had by all.

Supermom

2011-09-16T12:47:00.001-07:00

I'm a mom. It's what I do. I'm pretty good at it, I think. Of course, we'll know for sure 20 years from now when my kids are all grown, christlike, productive members of society. Until then, I'll keep my title of Supermommie and rest knowing God is really in charge.

That being said, I'm going to make a statement about supermoms that some people may disagree with.

Supermoms do what needs to be done for their kids regardless of who is watching.

That doesn't mean they don't hesitate sometimes because it may be uncomfortble (every mom has done that). It doesn't mean they don't take their child in the other room to provide discipline (an awesome practice that should be done whenever possible and necessary). It means that even if you are in line at Walmart and your kid is screaming as loud as his little lungs can handle and annoying everyone around him, Mom still sticks to her guns. She doesn't waiver just because people are watching and she's embarrassed.

That being said, I saw a supermom today. I love it. As she stood there and people made rude comments around her, she didn't give in and give the child the candy he wanted. She ignored those around her who told her to "shut the kid up" and went on with her business as if she wasn't dragging along a kid who so obviously didn't agree with her decision. I wanted to applaud...and slug the guy making rude comments.

The other day I was in line and overheard what looked like a grandmother telling her daughter who had 4 kids with her "this isn't high school, you have no excuse for thinking that everyone is watching you, they aren't". That grandmother was right. No one was watching (well, besides me, but I don't count). This mom clearly had everything under control with her kids but was embarrassed by the loud (but fairly polite) voices of her children. I'm not saying that this mom isn't super. I observed her kids. They were pretty awesome considering the fact that the oldest looked about 5. Having all those kids with you shopping isn't easy, I've been there. She was doing what was necessary and it worked.

My point is that what random people in a supermarket (or wherever) may judge you, but that isn't going to make as much impact on your child's life as your consistancy. If they know that all they have to do is embarrass you in order to get their way, what good does that teach them? If they know that rules are rules no matter where you happen to be, that is a huge lesson that will take them far.

I love getting lessons from other supermoms. It's great to see I'm not the only one out there working hard to raise my kids up to be awesome adults.

The Party

2011-09-12T08:36:00.000-07:00

This year is Micah's turn for a birthday party. Yes, my kids take turns. It makes my life easier and makes their parties better because I can save up for them in time and money and plan them better. Having kids with birthdays in July, August, then September makes having parties for them more difficult...but I just don't do it.

Anyhoo, it's been Micah's turn in the past and he just didn't want a party. This year is different. He's getting older and a lot more social and he doesn't mind people. Plus he found a place that he likes to have the party at.

We are going to Jumping Jacks. It's an indoor bounce house arena. It's not any more expensive than going to the dreaded Chuck E Cheese or like places, except there's no food there. They have a room where you can have your own food for cake and stuff away from the bounce houses, but they don't make you buy food from them. This makes it easier for Micah with his special diet and cheaper for me.

Micah is an awesome planner. When I asked him if he wanted to have a party this year since it was his turn he said yes and told me all the details. He wanted Jumping Jacks, tacos for a meal, a Cars 2 theme, a chocolate car cake, and to invite all his class from school and kids from church and Matthew and Joey. I asked him if he wanted his cousins to come, he said "sure". I'm pretty sure they were an afterthought, but that's okay.

I told him that he isn't allowed to write on the invitations the gifts that he wants each of them to bring like he planned. That was a tough one to get over.

Recently he decided to change his mind and he wanted a Phineas and Ferb party instead...too late. He's still getting Cars 2, but he's okay with that. I told him the time to change his mind isn't the month of the party. Plans are already set in motion.

I don't know how the party is going to turn out, but it's been the easiest for me to plan, that's for sure. Jumping Jacks has been awesome in getting everything set up for us. The only thing that I am worried about is how late the party is going to go. The only reservation that was available was for 6:40pm. Hopefully everyone will be okay with it. I'm glad it's on a Friday night, though.

We'll see how it goes soon!

Vacation in Hawaii

2011-09-10T10:21:00.000-07:00

I went to Hawaii for a week and left my family behind. I know, that may not seem like a Supermommie thing to do, but I did it anyway.

Tony didn't even go. It was me and my mom and one of my best friends. A girls only week.

There wasn't a day while I was gone that I didn't think about them or wish they could have come along...well, at least Tony. I may have missed a day in wishing that my kids were there.

That being said, I had a great time.

I brought back all kinds of Hawaii junk for them. Shopping for them helped me not to miss them so much, I think.

I took a ton of pictures. It was wonderful to be able to sit and wait for a great shot and not have to worry about kiddos getting bored.We went on a tour of a coffee farm and roasted our own Kona coffee...we brought a lot of coffee home.We went to a lu'au. That was cool.We hiked a bit to some fun places.We went on a tour of a volcano...underground.We snorkeled, swam, and played at beaches all over the island. I took some fun pictures from under the water with my H2O pouch from my Clever Container business and my phone.

I have some others videos, but I'm not done editing yet. I kept dropping the phone and it kept floating to the top because of the air in the pack. This one is pretty cool, though.

Overall, it was a great vacation. I'm really glad I went, and I want to go back...next time with my family.

My Shoes

2011-09-08T15:53:00.000-07:00

Today I am going to tell you about my shoes.

I love my shoes. I cringed when I originally paid $45 for them. You see, I'm really cheap. I hate spending a lot on stuff to wear.

I'm not a fashion kind of girl. I don't care about looking cute unless the occasion specifically calls for it. My normal outfit is jeans (sometimes shorts), tank top or t-shirt, and these shoes.

These shoes went with me to the Rocky Mountains and hiked up a few walking trails.

These shoes went with me to Knotts Berry Farm when I went with a bunch of Girl Scouts.

These shoes went with me to Disneyland...several times.

These shoes most recently went with me to Hawaii...more hiking, some beach time, tons of shopping...a lot of fun.

These shoes go with me shopping, to the gym (though I can't wear them there unless I plan on swimming my work out), to church, taking the kids to school and a million activities.

These shoes are wearing out.

I want more of these shoes.

Those exact shoes.

I don't want to find something else. I like these shoes.

I plan on wearing these shoes until they die. They haven't died yet. I'm just beginning to see the wear and tear.

I checked Sketchers, they don't make them anymore, ebay doesn't have them in my size. If my shoes die, there is no replacing them.

I will have to give them a proper burial...or perhaps bronze them for posterity.

I love my shoes.

I'm going to Hawaii!

2011-08-27T18:56:00.000-07:00

Okay, it's weird. I'm going to Hawaii and my husband is staying home. He's been there before though. He said he was bored when he went. He's never been to the Big Island that I'm going to though. I use all kinds of excuses for going without him, but I really wish he could come. I'm going to miss him an awful lot. Still, I'm going to Hawaii with my mom and one of my best friends. We are going to have a blast.

Why am I going to Hawaii? Well, my brother made the reservation with my mom's time share about a year ago. Since that time, things came up and he wasn't able to go. My mom didn't want to give up the reservation because it's really hard to get. She wanted my grandma to go with her, but she just wouldn't. It didn't take long for me to shout "I'll go!"

In my excitement I posted on Facebook that I was going to Hawaii and my friend, Shelley said "take me with you!" I talked with my mom and since the reservation was for a 2 bedroom suite that sleeps up to 6 and she gets along great with Shelley, we invited her to come if she could buy her plane ticket.

Now 3 ladies are taking Hawaii by storm! Two of us are married and leaving our husbands behind with kiddos (though Shelley's kiddos are a lot bigger than mine). Shelley and her husband are celebrating their anniversary this weekend. I think I'd feel worse about going to Hawaii the week after my anniversary...nah.

I love my husband. He's awesome. He's taking a week of vacation off work so that he can come be me at home with the kiddos. While it would be even more awesome if he could come, just the fact that he's letting me go without him is pretty great.

School Bus

2011-08-18T10:51:00.000-07:00

This year we have begun again the school bus fight. It's a fight I've had ever since my son started on the bus. It's really annoying.

Micah was never a school bus child until 2nd grade. He begged and begged to get on the bus until I finally allowed him to come home on it...even though it was only a 5 minute ride. I didn't realize at the time that it would turn into a nightmare.

The very next year he was sent to a new school. Literally the farthest school in the district from my house. It was horrible. Every day I still drove him to school. I'm a paranoid mom who really wants to know who is with my child every day and wants a talking relationship with my child's teachers and the staff at the school. This is 3rd grade. I know he could use some space, but I am just not that mom. It was really a good thing I stayed involved that year, though. Micah had the worst bus schedule ever. He was literally on the bus for 2 hours after waiting 30 minutes after school for the bus to even get there. Not getting my kid from school until dinner time was not a plus for me. Besides, he was so agitated after being in that bus for so long every day that he just wouldn't calm down until bedtime.

I debated dropping the bus thing all together. Honestly, it wasn't a fight that I wanted to have. Still, there were other kids going through the same thing. The bus system was broken and no one else was going to be loud enough to fix it.

I'm loud.

I rock the boat. I called an IEP. I requested that a representative of the transportation department be there as well as Micah's bus driver. I also made sure that someone from pupil services was there as well as an autism specialist and the school psychologist and anyone else I could think of that would help this situation. They all showed up and they changed his route and worked on strategies with the bus driver to help Micah learn to be on the bus. Overall it worked because he didn't have to be on the bus very long at all.

Then came the next year. New year, new school, new bus driver. New school not because of any moving that I had done, just because they "realigned classes". I didn't rock the boat again because I really liked the new school and the new teacher. The teacher and bus driver worked together for 3 months to get Micah to get on the bus easily. Plus, the bus driver knew to get Micah off the bus as soon as she could. This worked out well, Micah was on the bus for less than 30 minutes every day. Not bad since the school takes me 8 minutes to get to and she had other kids to drop off.

Then comes this year. Micah is back to a long bus ride. He's on the bus for about an hour and 15 minutes to two hours. Yeah, they aren't real regular with that. Not cool. Micah is starting to get frustrated. He isn't showing it on the bus yet, but I'm waiting for it. I don't want it to get bad again. Micah's teacher has already tried talking to the bus driver who isn't really happy with that. She's also called over her head to no avail. My turn.

Today I'm on the phone again. Pupil Personel, Transportation, if someone doesn't fix this this week we will have an IEP again. You all don't want to know that I'll do this time. Someone do their jobs before I start working the system. I know how to do that and my child will get what he needs. I take care of my kids.

That's why I'm Supermommie.

Clever Container

2011-08-15T16:30:00.000-07:00

I promised myself I wouldn't do too many blogs about my business. This whole business will not take over my life. Still, it's something I'm doing so it's part of my life, so I still have to share some stuff sometimes.

One of Clever Container's catch phrases is "Organizing Just Got Fun!". I have to say, I am having fun. That's not even a pitch for my company either. Sure, I'm a little stressed out. Things are kind of overwhelming and starting a business really wouldn't be my thing if I wasn't so determined. Overall, however, just having to take the time to do the parties, talk to people about organizing stuff, and organizing myself has really been a good experience. I like talking to people and giving tips on organizing. It's funny when people who know me see the differences and say something. I get to tell them about my products and show the results. Of course, the products aren't what make organization happen. It takes a lot of work. I know, duh!

I am reading a book that I found at Borders (anyone else sobbing at their closing?) on a great clearance. It's all about organizing. I haven't finished it yet, but it's good so far. It's called Go Organize! by Marilyn Bohn (yes I do feel the irony in the fact that my link was to the book on Amazon). I am enjoying the read. It's a step by step guide to organizing your home. I'm going to use the methods for one room in my house and see what happens. If it works for me I'll share.

One of my favorite things about starting my business has been the advertizing. No one I have encountered has ever heard of Clever Container before. It's nice to be able to pull out one of the products from my purse and show them something that will make life easier for them. The line of products for organizing your purse it pretty good. There's a whole party that I was trained on designed around organizing your purse. It really sounds fun and I can't wait for someone to ask about it.

Okay, I promise, I won't have too many plugs for my business on this blog. I'm actually debating the merits of starting another blog about my before and after organization and the process. This one would have lots of pictures. I'd just do a vlog, but I don't like to look at myself. If I do it, I'll post a link later.

What are you going to do today?

2011-08-12T08:20:00.000-07:00

Every school day, as I let my girls out of the car, I ask them a question in a loud (and probably embarrassing) mom voice: "What are you going to do today?" I've asked this question to Becca since she started Kindergarten and the girls all know the correct response "listen and obey". Ali and Zoe love it. It starts off their day with a smile because they have seen me do this with Becca all the time.

Becca doesn't love it. She rolls her eyes, but still gives the correct response. I keep waiting for her to come up with a witty retort like "find a boy and run away" or "ruin my teacher's day". Still, she's got it in her head what I expect of her. She knows that she is to listen to those in authority and obey them.

Zoe and Ali are having more trouble in school than Becca ever did. Not that they aren't keeping up with the educational stuff...more like boredom there. Their problem is that they just aren't getting their way enough for their tastes. Zoe had her incident the first week. She hid under the table when she didn't get to be the line leader. This happened two days in a row and the teacher learned that she should tell me when my child does something wrong right away so that she won't do it again. Ali's incident happened this week. She decided that since she didn't get to be behind her friend in line, she just wasn't going to get in line. She cried and laid herself down on the floor. Her teacher told me that day. It worked. She's not had an incident, and she isn't likely to. My girls HATE not getting dessert. If teachers have to tell me about bad behavior, they don't get dessert. It's kind of double consequences because she had to lose recess too, but my kids had to learn that the teacher and I are on the same team.

Yesterday and today I added something new to our morning chat at the top of our lungs. After asking them what they are going to do today, I got my response, then I asked again "even if you don't get your way, you still" and they knew what to say without even being prompted "listen and obey".

I've learned that this concept, when reminded every morning, has helped Becca. She knows that I want her to do well in school, and she does, but the part that so many kids seem to lack that she doesn't is respect for authority. Don't get me wrong, she and I have our struggles, but they don't play out in front of others nor does she struggle with anyone else. She is eager to please her teachers and the staff at the school and other adults around her. She listens to them, and they all know it. Have I turned my child into a brown-noser? Probably. Being that way has served me well all my life, though. I just pray that this will play out as well in Ali and Zoe's lives as well as it has in Becca's.

Dear My Child's Teacher,

2011-08-04T13:36:00.000-07:00

Dear Teacher,

Please don't put off until tomorrow to tell me about the discipline problem that you had with my child. If she hid under a desk and told you that she wasn't coming out, there's a problem that needs to be addressed today, not tomorrow when she doesn't remember why she went under there in the first place.

Another thing, please stop telling me and my child that she is the smartest in your class. I don't care if you tell every child that, it's just not right. I don't want my child compared to others. She may be your favorite already, but she doesn't need to know that. She is very manipulative, all my kids are. They are smart and want their own way, so they use their intelligence to find your weakness and if you put up with it, it gets worse. Build up my child's self esteem in different ways. She likes challenges, give them to her. She's smart, but she's still in Kindergarten, there is a lot for her to learn.

I know that you attempt to phrase your parent feedback in a positive way, but if the only thing positive about my child that you can think of is how smart she is, try harder. There are a lot of awesome things about my kids. I know that she is intelligent, I've been her teacher for 5 years. Don't make me dread hearing you say "she's so smart BUT". Try giving me something specific that she has done that day that is positive, then give me the specifics about the negative.

Thank you for all your hard work. I'm sorry that you had to physically grab my child out from under the desk today, but if you would have told me about the incident from yesterday yesterday, this would not have happened. My daughter needs consistent discipline. The first week is filled with grace, I know, but my child tests limits from the beginning while most kids are still getting used to being without their parents. It's odd because they haven't been in preschool for them to be like this, but they are very independent. It comes with the intelligence.

My expectations for my children are very high, so your job is going to be tough. Don't worry, I have your back. I'm there to enforce in ways you can't and teach right along with you. Please know that I appreciate everything that you do for my child.

Sincerely,
Supermommie

Time for School!

2011-08-02T15:15:00.000-07:00

It began Monday morning. All was organized. Sunday night I had laid out all the clothes, packed backpacks, and got everything ready. Monday all 4 of my kids went to school. To be fair, the twins just had orientation that lasted only a few hours and my mom and I went with them. Still, it was a beginning. The girls met their teachers and had a blast meeting classmates. They loved it.

Today was just as organized. This was a surprise for me because I usually have a great first day and then blow it the rest of that first week, only to go back to getting it right the next week, determined to not blow it again. It was new to finally get it together 2 days in a row.

The twins had their first day without the help of a parent there today. Apparently they did great. Not a surprise for me, but most people who know the twins have rarely seen them apart and don't know that they really are good kids when they aren't conspiring against me.

Last week I was at the school helping our PTA president with stuffing envelopes and asked about the twin's classes. They had them in the same class...I fixed that quickly. Not that I minded the teacher, but the twins needed to be separated. The Ali and Zoe never knew. I love that Ali is in Mr Cunanan's class. He's so fun and she loves him already. Zoe is having a great time with Mrs Brace who also adores the color purple just as much as my daughter. Zoe found that out when she was coloring during her own face during orientation. She wanted to be purple, so she drew her face that way. Mrs Brace told her that she loves purple too and that they were going to get along quite well!

Becca has begun 3rd grade. She is in GATE now (Gifted And Talented...something). She is in an interesting class. I found out from another teacher friend of mine that there was going to be a little boy with autism in that class. The teacher was reluctant to have this boy in her class because she just doesn't know anything about how to work with him. When my teacher friend found out that Becca was going into that class, she told the teacher that Becca would be a perfect fit for a buddy for this little boy. It made Becca feel good to be a help, made the teacher a bit more comfortable having the boy in the class, and the little boy has an automatic friend in Becca. I'm going to be monitoring her grades and attitude through the year closely to see if it's too much for her. I'm not terribly worried, though. I don't think Becca will have a problem. She's always top of her class in practically everything, and it won't hurt her to do a little extra. I know she is getting more being in GATE, though, so I'm still watching close.

Micah is in the same class as last year and his aid will be the same as soon as she gets off maternity leave. The problem is that the summer was just a bit too short, so Melissa (Micah's aid) just didn't have time to recover completely while Micah was off. Fortunately, Micah's teacher is awesome and she has a small class and plenty of help at the moment. Micah will start mainstreaming tomorrow with or without his regular aid, but it would be nice if someone he knows is with him when he starts.

Good start, huh? I'm so proud of my kiddos.

VBS and Speech and Fun Camp

2011-07-28T13:44:00.000-07:00

This week is even crazier than last week.

Each morning I wake the kids up (not my favorite thing to have to do) and we go to Speech and Fun Camp. It's a fantastic opportunity for us. The camp is in Moreno Valley, and it's a day camp for kids with autism and their siblings. In every classroom, there are teachers and speech therapists there playing with the kids. They do stuff like music and they have a sensory room that is really fun. While they are at camp, the parents are pampered, go to support groups, listen to speakers on all kinds of therapy and treatments and services. These classes and things are completely optional, and many parents just drop off the kids and go relax. Anyway, it's really great. I'm really sad that we have to miss the second week of it, but the kids start school on Monday.

In the afternoon there are various activities available where the parents take the kids places or have classes with the kids on campus. We have to miss a few this week because Micah has his behavior therapy, but the ones we went to have been fun. Yesterday they had a fire truck, ambulance, and a limo come out and the kids got to check them out and ask questions. There was also an art class and a class on laughter therapy that was a barrel of laughs.

After that, we have Vacation Bible School at our church. It's been a blast. This week I am working with middle school kids. I'm having a ball. The kids are having fun too. Something great happened with our VBS this year. A family who was in town for the Speech and Fun Camp looked online for a VBS in the area for the kids to go to in the evenings so that they wouldn't be bored staying in their hotel room. Awesome idea, by the way. Anyhow, they came on Monday and saw that Micah was still wearing his camp shirt and were so excited. The boy who has autism was in Micah's class and they just clicked. The mom told me that night that her son told her that he was praying for a friend who was a boy. He was so excited when he found that God answered his prayer!

Another awesome thing that happened was in my class in middle school. We have a visitor coming who is delayed mentally. She's a great girl to have in our class and is so fun to be around. Her mom came to me when she dropped her off on Monday and started to explain some things about her. I was so happy to tell her about Micah's autism and she was so relieved to find another parent who understands about special needs. God really did something awesome when he was placing kids and workers in our VBS.

I'm super tired every day, but God gives me the strength to keep going. It's not been without incident. Micah decided to run away from Tony yesterday when Tony turned his back for a few seconds. I ended up finding him running down the street and freaking out. Everything was fine, but it always messes me up when Micah does that.

Next week is bound to be crazy too. The kids will be going to school, and there's always a struggle to get back into that routine. Micah's behavior therapist is working with me to establish the homework plan now before it starts. Hopefully it will work when it comes time to actually implement it.

So, maybe crazy is just becoming normal. I'm really okay with that, as long as I can stay organized and one step ahead of the kids.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

2011-07-14T14:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was in the car with 4 girls (Cassidy was with us) and I asked them what they wanted to be when they grow up. Becca has changed her mind and wants to be president. She used to want to be the first lady, but has since decided that she can have more control if she's just president herself. She figures she could just be a lawyer first until she gets a lot of money and run for mayor first, then governor. She said she can do a better job than Governor Brown and that California will elect anybody. I'm wondering who has been talking to my almost 8 year old about politics....

Zoe wants to be a police officer. She said she wants to give people tickets to jail. Becca told her that if people just got tickets to jail they would throw them away. Zoe explained that she would simply go to their house and put bracelets on them and then put them in the car with her dog. Ali told Zoe that not everyone should go to jail, some of them should just pay money. Zoe said "Hooray! Then I will be rich!" Of course I had to explain about bribes and what the government does with money from tickets. Zoe was less thrilled, but she figured if she still got to "put bracelets on people" she would be fine with the job still.

Cassidy wants to be a farmer or a photographer (not both, that would be too hard-her words, not mine). She said she wants to be a farmer so she can have a horse. I told her that she didn't have to be a farmer to have a horse. She looked at me as if I had lost my mind.

Ali told me that she wants to cheer for USC. I asked her what she wants to do after college. She said "I think I'll be a crossing guard and coach the cheerleaders for USC!" I don't get this obsession with USC, but I'm not opposed to her plans. If her goal in life is to go to USC and cheer, that's pretty good for a girl who is about to start Kindergarten in a few weeks! She really likes the idea of being a crossing guard too. She said she likes telling cars what to do. I really do have a few control freaks on my hands.

I just asked Micah what he wants to be when he grows up. He told me he wants to shoot people into space. I'm okay with a kid working for NASA. That's probably right up his alley. I'm really surprised that he didn't want to go to space himself, though. He doesn't like small spaces for long periods of time, though, so maybe I'm not. Still, normally kids say "astronaut". Micah has never been "normal" though. He's awesome like that.

The twins asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up. Becca objected saying that I already have grown up and I don't do anything. That was interesting. After a long conversation about what I do, Ali asked again what I want to be when I "get old". I said, "I want to be like Jesus". Zoe responded "Me too! And I want to be a police!" I told her that I liked that plan for her a lot.

My Crazy Week

2011-07-06T00:54:00.000-07:00

This week I am consumed by several different things.

Vacation Bible School is coming and I'm crazy enough to be a part of 2 VBS's in a row. One week I am helping in a 3 and 4 year old class at my father-in-law's church and the next week I am directing the middle school class at my church. I love the idea of doing both but I know I am going to be so tired! I love VBS! I'm still probably crazy for doing both.

On top of all that is the start of my business. I have an Open House for my Clever Container business this Saturday from 1-6pm. It's going to be a blast and I'm having fun planning. Hopefully people will come and the day will be an exciting start for my new project. I am putting in hours and hours of my time into this business and I really hope it takes off. My kids are really starting to get the idea that I'm working sometimes (when they are busy or sleeping, that's what's awesome about being in charge of my hours!). It's working out well so far.

The next is my kids. It's funny how much they get on each others nerves lately. Each of them really need time to themselves once in a while. Micah has it easy being in a room by himself, but my poor girls are all sharing their room. The arguments get old. I'm really going to be excited when school begins because they will be separated for at least part of each day. Keeping them busy just hasn't been enough. We've worked on the house together (scrubbing walls is Ali's specialty!) we've played in the water out in the backyard, done a few crafts, watched a few movies and just had fun. Still, doing things together is getting old. Becca especially wants some alone time. Ali and Zoe could use time away from each other too. Micah really likes that he can tell his sisters to get out of his room and they have to listen to him.

Tony is here sometimes. He is going in to work early a couple of days a week so he can umpire in the evenings. He comes home really tired most of the time. Soon he will be going in early so he can go to his second job after...and if his umpire season isn't over by then I'll never see him. Still, summer will end eventually and things will go back to a routine. All will be fine...eventually.

What else is happening? I'm going to Hawaii with my mother and one of my friends at the end of August/beginning of September and staying for a week. It's going to be fun! I'm really excited. I've been working on travel plans for that too.

I'm busy. That's why I'm taking the time to blog now at 1 am. Insomnia is going to be useful tonight I guess. I should still go to bed. Goodnight!

What I want my kids to be when they grow up.

2011-06-28T21:23:00.000-07:00

Recently one of my friends posted this article on Facebook. It's about how people tend to praise kids at the top of their lungs when they win at sports, but not when they bring home an A in school. I totally agree with the author's point. We should absolutely cheer for our kids when they get an A. That makes total sense.

Still, I can't help but wonder: is that what I really want to focus my cheers on? Don't get me wrong, I want my kids to do well in this life. Education is very important. My kids bring home an A and I cheer. I want to raise a bunch of nerds. The focus shouldn't be on that either, though.

If I had to choose one thing to cheer it wouldn't be the school tests, the essays or the SAT results. It wouldn't be the home run or the soccer goal either. My kids would get the cheers for spiritual achievements. Good character choices would have me screaming. When my older two were baptized, I was there with the camera and I shouted for joy. When my kids memorize Bible verses I cheer. When they make the choice on their own to do something nice for another, I want to take them out for pizza to celebrate.

In the end it isn't about how much money you have made. There was a quote by LZ Granderson in the article (a really good statement, by the way) "Jocks go on to play for your favorite team but nerds go on to own the teams those jocks play for. " Jocks and nerds alike still need Christ. There are plenty of both who have gotten into trouble for lack of integrity and self control. Character matters. Christ matters. Eternity is hell without Him.

Summer and Being Broke

2011-06-27T18:05:00.000-07:00

I'm not a happy camper this summer....

I blogged about what I plan on doing to stop from being broke. My Clever Container business is starting. I got my supplies and I'm waiting with baited breath for the ability to start my website so people can order. I'm not making money yet, so it's not really a helpful thing yet. One day soon I'll have my kick off party and hopefully everything will go smoother from there.

Until then I'm dealing with bored kids.

Last summer I saved up some money and was able to send all the kids to different camps and Vacation Bible Schools and that kind of thing. I filled up the summer. This year my car was stolen and with that went my savings trying to replace it. It's been an adventure.

With my mom out of our house, I had to figure out some creative ways to continue to make sure that someone can cook every day even if I'm overheated for the day. It's Southern California, it happens a lot. Everyone has to eat even if mom doesn't feel good, so I spent a bit of money making that possible.

In all of this, my husband is umpiring...a lot. I don't really begrudge him that, he's a really good umpire and people count on him...but it's volunteer, so it's taking up time and gas money and making more issues.

So the kids are bored, they miss their dad, and they are driving me nuts...and I'm broke so I can't do much to fix it.

Last week Tony had the week off, but we had $20 to spend for the week (including gas) and that made the whole week difficult...along with a beautiful case of scarlet fever for the 3 girls. I called my mom and asked to borrow money for medication copay so that my kids could have amoxicilin so they didn't die from it, then I'm even more than broke, I'm in debt...but at least my kids are okay.

I can't handle another month of this. Something has to go right....

Tony starts his second job next month. This should help us stay afloat for a while. Hopefully my business gets off to a good start so that more pressure is relieved. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. August 1st my kids go back to school and thus will no longer be bored and sitting around my house thinking of horrible things to do. I'm not going to sink too far into household budget crisis. The end is near, and God has it under control.

Starting Something New

2011-06-20T15:50:00.000-07:00

I'm broke. All the time. It stinks. I hate it. When my bank account says that the balance is 11 cents and I'm stuck at home figuring out what is in the pantry that we can eat for the next week because we had an emergency and now don't have grocery money, I decided that I just can't do this anymore.

I've considered for a long time what I can do about this issue. I considered taking on a job. I hate that idea. I love being at home with my kids. I just can't think of doing something less than flexible with my time.

I considered extreme couponing. I've come to the conclusion that I don't have the space to store the bulk items that I would have to do to make it work. Plus with my son on a special diet, I just don't think that I'd be able to fully take care of his needs that way. I know that there are probably ways to do it, but I just don't think I could convince my son to wait on his almond milk until it goes on sale. I don't have the patience for it either.

My next idea came from several friends who are all in some sort of direct sales business. Creative Memories, Pampered Chef, Mary Kay, Cookie Lee....the list goes on for a while. I searched for a direct sales company with a good reputation that I love the products and I don't already know at least 2 consultants. That narrowed down the list quite a bit. You see, I know a lot of consultants. A LOT. If I'm not hosting a party, I'm going to one at least once a month lately. This week it was actually 3. Crazy, huh?

So I searched for a while and found that there is actually a list from the Direct Selling Association of reputable companies. I went through that list...it's really long. I don't wear make up. I am allergic to a lot of smells. That narrowed the list down a lot. I'm not a girly girl and jewelry doesn't appeal to me in the least. Decorating my house was fun, but I just didn't think I could get into promoting home decorating stuff when I know that even if I love the catalog now, next year they could have really ugly stuff.

Finally I found a company that I liked! It's a company called Clever Container. They sell organization products. Cool! I know, if you read my blog at all, you know that I'm not the most organized person that you'd ever meet. Why would I get excited about organizational products? It's been my goal for how many years now to become more organized? Well, now I have to be and I get to test out really cool new products and get organizational techniques from professional organizers (there are a lot of those in this company) while working my own flexible business.

I know myself. If I spend money on a cool new gadget that works to help me clean, organize, or make my life easier, I will actually use it. If I have to work for it, I use it even more so. Why? Because wasting money on products bugs me too much!

I think the thing that sold me was the entire line of car organizing products. My car is notoriously messy. If I am going to run an organizing business, though, my car can't be that way. If my car goes from the junk heap that it was to the organized masterpiece that I'm sure it will be as soon as I get my hands on my cool stuff for it (for I will go immediately out to clean out my car and become a rigid mom about what goes in there and what stays out), I will know that I can apply those same things in my house and the rest of my life.

How do I know I can do this? I look at my son's room. Everything has a place in that room. I set it up that way on purpose so that my son can be comfortable. He thrives in order and consistency. If he knows where something goes, he puts it there...and no where else. I look at the rest of my house. Anywhere that Micah consistently uses something is organized. Anywhere else is not necessarily organized because I haven't made it a priority. It's not that I don't know how to organize, I just don't do it unless I have to. Yeah, I sound lazy. I can say that about myself sometimes...until I look at my schedule. Still, part of my business is going to be being organized...so here I am. I have to do it, so I will.

The next thing that I think will make me successful is that my kids will all be in school as of August 1st. That will give me my mornings to do some organizing of my home, organizing the business, and still be there for my kids when they need me.

I am so excited about this company. Drawbacks are that I've never done direct sales before, this is a fairly new company that doesn't have the reputation that many others have, and that I'm a pretty busy person already. I am pretty sure I can tackle all those problems. I like talking to people, sales has never been a problem for me before. I know how to advertise myself and my products, so hopefully it won't be too long before people know about Clever Container. The busy thing? I don't think that will ever go away, but being more organized will save me time, so hopefully it will all balance out in the end.

Am I crazy? Probably. We'll see how it all works out. By the way, I haven't got a website up yet, but I'm going to have one soon. In the meantime, here's a catalog if you want to take a look. I first saw that catalog and figured that no one could go through it and not find anything that they would use.

Let's see how this story unfolds in the next few months....

Ahhh! What Happened?

2011-05-14T16:04:00.001-07:00

The past few months have been so crazy.

I started my plan to change my body's schedule and failed. Basically from lack of sleep. I can't get up early in the morning if I can't sleep at night. So sad. I'll try again when all my kids are in school.

Frustration abounded in Girl Scouts and I finally resigned. It took a lot for me to quit. I am not a quitter by nature. It still bugs me that I had to quit, but it's a relief to not have that taking over my schedule anymore. I'd go into the whys, but I feel that people would take my stand as slander against an organization when really it was problems that I had within that organization. I also refuse to speak badly about people online.

That being said, the whole situation, while not completely gone yet, is off my shoulders and no longer taking over my schedule and my nerves.

I am finally able to focus on more important things. My church is a big one. I've always been someone who is very involved at church, but that has kind of fallen to the side a bit because of Girl Scouts. It was bugging me that anytime I had something that I wanted to do at church, I couldn't because something came up for Girl Scouts. Now I'm more able to get involved and really get to know some people better...and they can get to know me as someone who isn't stressed out constantly.

Another thing that I am so happy to be more involved in is Micah's baseball team. He plays for a Challenger team that is just awesome. I am team mom, and I was really working hard to keep up with all the work before this. Now I'm more relaxed at the games and able to remember all the things that I need to do.

There's also the fact that Ali and Zoe are starting Kindergarten in August. I'm not the type of mom who just drops her kids off at school and hopes for the best. I'm the one bugging the teachers when my kid misses something on a test (not asking why my perfect child missed something, more likely asking what we can work on at home to help them to get the question right next time). I'm that mom who makes sure that her kids are always involved in every activity even if they aren't sure that they want to. That makes me a busy mom when they are at school. Especially when my kids are at 2 different elementary schools.

Oh! Another thing just happened. Becca got accepted into the GATE program. That's the Gifted and Talented Education program. It is for kids who are not having any trouble in any of the normal education stuff (reading, writing, math, etc.) and are ready to experience more in their education. I like this. Becca has no troubles with school. Her biggest problem is in writing, and that's just in comparison to her other grades. She's advanced in everything else, and proficient in writing...sounds like her mom.

Okay, so my ducks are in a row for everything as far as school goes...I hope. Of course, then I got a call from a friend who is very involved in PTA at Becca's school and she wants me to get involved in that this year. She knows what I went through in Girl Scouts (she went through some of it with me) and wants me there...I told her I'd think about it. I've never done PTA anywhere before because I'm so torn between schools. Micah and Becca have never been at the same school, so it's hard to get involved in 2 different schools...and I don't want to be involved in one and not the other. Now Becca, Ali, and Zoe will be at one school and Micah at another.

Micah is totally taken care of at school. He's got his teacher in his SDC class (special day class...special ed) who takes care of him. She will be his teacher for the next 2 years (unless the district re-aligns the classes again and decides to send him elsewhere, but that's doubtful because they have seen how he has thrived there). He also has a 1-1 aid that is with him the whole time he is at school. Melissa is awesome and pretty much his favorite person. She will likely be the person back with him next year too. The principal at the school loves Micah too. She has been watching him grow this year and was really impressed. He also mainstreams for part of the day in a regular ed class (Melissa goes with him) and they love him there too. Any time they have field trips or anything, they invite Micah to go with them. Micah is all set up at school, and I really have no reason to worry about him.

So my dilemma is really how much to be involved officially at the girl's school. I don't know yet. I've kind of looked forward to being able to do other things while my kids are at school, and I know I will still do that, but I have a tendency to jump into things with both feet and not look around. I don't go in with that intention, but I tend to do it anyway. I'll have to be careful to relax and just help out...not easy for me.

I'm looking into Becca's next activity to be involved in too. She really liked Girl Scouts, but we aren't going to be with them anymore. She wants to see about a new sport or another club...I just have to see what's around again. I just don't want her overwhelmed with something at the same time she is taking on the GATE program too. Still, she's the kind of kid that has to be busy. Anyone have any ideas? Becca is up for anything. She is not incredibly sporty, but she's tried ballet, tap, cheer-leading, tennis, and baseball. She said maybe swimming, but I'm sure she just said that because I used to do it. She's picking up the violin right now, too. I hate to see her over-involved, but she feels like she's missing something because she's not going to be going to Girl Scouts anymore.

Anyway, that's what's going on. I'm keeping my head above water and a whole lot more relaxed...but I had to get totally stressed out first to get here.

Day One

2011-04-21T13:54:00.001-07:00

You know that one place in your house that you've been meaning to clean, but you never really get around to it because you are so busy doing other things and you know it will take you a while to actually do it? Everyone has one of those, right? I'm not alone in this? That's what this change of schedule feels like to me. Something that is taking a whole lot of effort to get it fixed, but in the end I should be able to function even better.

Last night I went to bed at 11pm...and laid there...no sleep...just stayed in bed anyway. The snack thing was fine. I wanted to snack past my self-imposed curfew, but I stopped myself. I got up this morning knowing that my son had an early doctor appointment, so I'd have to get up anyway. I am tired this afternoon.

I am supposed to be cleaning my house. Micah's therapist is coming over this afternoon and there is a lot to clean before she gets here. I'm still sitting.

One good thing did happen, though. There was not an "extra" mess from the girls today. They have yet to get into anything that they were not allowed to today. That is huge for me. They tend to sneak in the kitchen and find things and eat them...hiding the remains. Yesterday they got into enough trouble for the rest of their lives over that very thing. I feel like my eyes have to be on both of them constantly, but they are never in the same place unless we are doing something together...making it practically impossible to do anything that they can't "help" me with. That's what most people use TV for, right? Well, they aren't allowed to watch TV right now. Grounded means mommy isn't going to do what she wants to too.

Anyway, we'll see how long this whole thing lasts. They are currently coloring so I should be busy doing something else instead of sitting here blogging, but I am a procrastinator. I am getting up to clean now.

Schedule Changes

2011-04-20T10:32:00.000-07:00

I'm thinking of making major changes to my schedule. I've wanted to do 2 things for a few years now: get organized and get physically fit. Neither has really happened. I'm more organized than I was a few years ago, but my house is still generally a mess. I'm more fit than I was a few years ago, but not where I really want to be.

So here's the thing: I took a hard look at my schedule and found a few things. One is that I snack A LOT at night. I schedule time to clean after the kids go to bed, but it never really works out that way.

Generally I sleep in in the mornings while Tony gets the kids ready for school. This works for us. I'm not a morning person at all, and Tony does a great job getting kids out the door (except for Becca's hair, but I'm up by the time she needs that). Generally I spend a few hours cleaning in the mornings. Usually I'm cleaning whatever mess the twins were making before I was up because Daddy was distracted by getting older kids ready to go to school. Then I'm off to do whatever things I have scheduled for the day.

Anyone else see an issue here? My days are messed up! I spend time cleaning up messes instead of organizing and doing regular clean up. Then when I should be cleaning in the evenings, I'm really just eating and relaxing in front of the TV!

So, I'm setting myself a bedtime. I'm not going to be unreasonable, though. I know my body hates sleeping before 1am. Insomnia abounds before that. I am still going to try 11pm. I'm also cutting off all snacks at 9. I'd make it before that, but I know myself better than that. I'm going to want to snack after the kids go to bed at 8, and telling myself that I can't won't make this work. I've tried not snacking after dinner when trying to get rid of the insomnia, and I couldn't stick to it. I'd much rather do something that I can keep up.

The next part of that is the mornings. I've been trying to get up earlier, but it isn't working. I know it's the insomnia, so I'm sure I can't be unreasonable with that either. I'm going to just try getting up when the alarm goes off instead of poking my husband and rolling over. I will get up and shower THEN do my quiet time with God. I usually do this the other way around...then I end up falling back to sleep because I'm still in bed for my quiet time. It doesn't work.

I've actually tried this type of schedule before, but the problem was that I was off caffeine at the time too. That doesn't work for me. I became a really horrible person. I have already shaken my dependence on caffeine, so hopefully this will work. Changing the schedule while going off caffeine at the same time didn't work. One thing at a time.

While I'm changing things around, if I find extra time in there, I'm going to start a more consistent workout routine. I'm actually thinking of the couch to 5k plan. I really want to be able to run a marathon one of these days, but I already know that I can't even jog a 5k. I have to start somewhere, so I'm thinking of starting there. The thing is, there are a few plans for the couch to 5k thing, not just the ones that I've linked, so I'm going to research it further to see which would work best for me. I welcome any suggestions.

The problem with my work out thing right now is that at this point, I have to take the twins with me wherever I go unless Tony is home. This means I either get up even more early (I'm not sure I can do that yet), or exercise at night (probably not the best thing for my insomnia). I'm thinking just the schedule change for now, then I'll add the workout when I'm a little more flexible with my time. If nothing else, the twins start Kindergarten in August, and I'll have more time when they are in school.

The other thing is, if I get up and get my twins ready for the day at the same time Tony does, it eliminates whatever mess that they would make as well as make the morning smoother for him. I find it frustrating that the twins are not as self sufficient at my other kids were at that age. They more likely to make a mess if you have them get themselves breakfast, even if it's just a waffle out of the toaster. At 4, both Micah and Becca could make a waffle for themselves, but neither poured cereal or milk still. I don't know if it's that they are more clumsy or if they are just more imaginative, making the whole process of putting the waffle in the toaster and taking it out much too boring.

So, there it is. My evil plan. I'll blog on it more later. I'm going to try to start the whole thing tonight. I may not make it, though. It sort of depends on when my husband gets home from umpiring. Sometimes he's late, and I don't like going to bed without him at least home. I'm definitely going to start the no snack after 9 thing, though.

A New Favorite Blog

2011-04-15T09:23:00.001-07:00

I have been so impressed with this blog lately that I just had to blog about it. It's called Impressyourkids.org. It's an awesome group of mothers of preschoolers who contribute to this blog.

I know, Impress your kids? Why would you feel the need to impress them? I am Supermommie, so it might be necessary sometimes...but that's not really what the name comes from. The idea is from Deuteronomy 6:4-9.

Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. (NIV)

The blog is full of fun things that these women have done with their kids that impress scripture on their children. Cool, huh?

Now, my kids go to AWANA, we have learned scripture in all kinds of great ways, but I'm always happy to hear new ideas. I love it when my kids show somehow that they understand what they are learning, and these activities really help to give them practical applications for scripture even in their little lives. It's awesome to see.

So check it out. Even if you have older kids, the activities are still good. Some of the activities are a little hard for preschoolers anyway. My kids love it when I do this stuff with them.

Stolen Car, other things leaving too....

2011-04-13T15:20:00.000-07:00

My car was stolen last Thursday night. I think Tony had the best perspective on the whole thing. You can take a look at his blog for that. The stuff that has happened around that event is really what I'm writing about.

I'd had a pretty rough time before that. Not that any one thing was all that stressful, it was just the combination of everything that made me fall apart.

One of my best friends got married. That was so awesome. There was a LOT of things to do, and I'd volunteered to help quite a bit. I love helping to plan that kind of thing. It was really cool to be a part, but there was a lot of work. That was thing number one, and while I really loved helping, it was in the mix of things that overloaded me.

Just before the wedding was my brother's visit. Also something really cool, but stressful.

Just before that was GS Cookie season and all the drama that came with that.

Okay, there's all the major stuff.

I had also volunteered (before things started getting stressful) to work in Children's Church at my church until the person who regularly did it came back (she had bronchitis and then her first grandchild was born so she went to go visit her). This is something fun for me, so I figured it wouldn't be a big deal.

Then there's drama that happened over a babysitter for the wedding. One person who I called actually told me "I don't want to babysit your kids because I don't like them." That person will never be on my list anymore. I'm over it, but it added stress.

There was also a bunch of mis-communication with others that surrounded that whole incident that never really resolved well, so that added stress.

Then came a bunch of mistakes that I made. I'm pretty sure I just wasn't thinking clearly because of all the other stress that was going on at that moment, so I ended up adding more stress onto the whole thing myself.

All of this is happening when baseball season is starting and I'm starting to lose my husband's presence (as I do every year, so it's not like I'm not used to it). He's starting to be the umpire that he is, as well as getting more involved in the Challenger Division where Micah participates in baseball. It's awesome. I was trying to be involved with that too, being Team Mom, but because of all the circumstances, I've made a lousy team mom so far.

So, it was after the wedding, but before the reception (they were a week apart) when my husband's car was stolen. In it was everything keeping me together. We'd practically lived in that car for a while. It was really full of important things.

I lost it. I went around Friday (the car was stolen on a Thursday night) taking care of things, but I woke up Saturday morning without any sight in my left eye. Honestly, I was expecting to go paralyzed (as I've done before) so this didn't bug me as much. I told my friend who I was supposed to take pictures for her reception that I couldn't, but I'd be able to handle everything else. The baking of the cake and making of decorations began. It was supposed to be a 2 day thing, Friday and Saturday working on everything, but Friday was gone and there was nothing I could do about it. Saturday evening was the reception, and I was going and it would be beautiful. My mom saved the day, helping me with the cake, and there was a ton of help from other friends to make the decorations work. I was so glad that my father-in-law was the one who did the food, so I could count on him to just take care of everything in the kitchen without having to worry.

Sunday I went to church, determined (as I usually am) to make everything stay consistent for my kids, so I went, though I couldn't see much at this point. I emailed the neurologist, but knew he wasn't going to get back to me until Monday, and I had things to do. My husband had to be at work on Monday, so he needed a car. I just couldn't be his taxi and someone had to pick up kids from school (somehow I was going to get them in my mind).

Monday morning, we all pile into the car, drop off the two older kids at school and go check out the car. It's in my name, so I have to take care of the paperwork. We went to the police station then to the towing place. We paid them all way too much just to take the burnt up piece of junk off our hands.

I still can't see much.

I get a message from my neurologist. I can come see him, but I really need to relax. It's probably stress...duh. If everything didn't go back to normal soon, I figured I'd go see him.

I took the rest of the day off. Most of the day I spent in bed while the kids watched TV. Tony umped that night, so we had bean and cheese burritos for dinner that the kids prepared themselves. It worked, and they had fun.

The next day I knew that if I got up and did anything I would never get past the stress. I stayed in bed most of the day. The twins enjoyed making their own pb&j for lunch and I relaxed. Micah's therapist came that afternoon, so I didn't have to work on homework. Everything worked out well. Tony came home and made dinner, so the kids finally had a healthy meal. I relaxed. Sure, dishes are piled up and I still have to clean a few messes, but things are getting done over time.

This morning I woke up and found that my sight had returned. I could really relax again. No worries. I want my sight to stay with me, so I wasn't going to try to "catch up" today. Still relaxing, just getting a few things done at a time.

I get frustrated when MS slows me down, but at the moment I'm pretty sure it's a good thing. I had a real reason to sit and relax for a while. God knew exactly what needed to happen to make me stop and relax.

Now here I sit, my son frustrated at me because I can't go to the store to buy him some Chex because I don't have a bank card (my wallet was in the car that was stolen) and no cash. My husband is off to umpire this evening, so I really can't do anything to help him (again). All will be fine. Time to distract with video games.

Homework and the Manipulative Kid

2011-03-28T20:21:00.000-07:00

My son and I argued for quite a long time about his homework today.

Micah informed me that his homework was too easy, and since he wasn't dumb, he shouldn't have to do it. Personally, I find this to be a reasonable argument if the point of homework was to learn something. However, I'm pretty sure that that isn't what the point of the worksheets that his teacher sends home. She sends home tons of math problems. Simple stuff. Also his spelling and vocabulary words for him to write and define. He also has a reading log. It's pretty much the same thing every day. These aren't things for you to learn at home, they are things to practice so that you can do them faster and remember them at school. I told him about the real reason for his homework. He didn't like that.

Micah gave me a new argument and tried to establish a deal. If he could do his homework in 5 minutes, he shouldn't have to do it the next day. Pretty good argument, right? I thought it was good.

I started the timer. Three minutes, he had all the worksheets done. He pulled out the reading log and reads the top of the page "Read for 15 minutes".

Did I know that was there? Yeah...

I know, I kind of manipulated my son a bit, but after 3 hours of "I don't want to do my homework!" I feel justified. Homework is done.

Plans and Family

2011-03-24T08:51:00.000-07:00

I love having my family visit. It's really nice to have them come and play with us. I love having my niece and nephew around. It's been so long that I hadn't even met my little niece yet and they hadn't met the twins.

Before I even begin to talk about the things that have happened, I have to say that I haven't always been this neurotic. I'm not a planner by nature, my life has made me that way. My son requires a whole lot of planning. He needs preparation so that we don't have meltdowns or chasing him because he ran away. Then there's the fact that I have 4 kids. While that may seem a bit crazy, it's really not with proper preparation.

That being said, I went crazy last week.

My brother Tony is the anti-planner. When he said that he was going to come down here and just wing it when it came to plans, I thought to myself that this would be okay, as long as I knew the day before what we were going to do the next day.

That didn't happen.

I think the worst case of anti-planning was when we were on our way to one activity when I got a phone call from him saying "why don't we just go to the beach instead?" I put up a few reasons why that wouldn't be my favorite choice and he just went around them. I went to the store and got my kids their swimsuits for this season (I needed to do that anyway) and then went back home to prepare for a trip to the beach.

I was freaking out the whole time too because the last time I'd been to the beach with my kids Micah had run away and we found him 2 miles away ( just realized I hadn't blogged about that particular incident, which is kind of weird considering the fact that it was so major...basically Micah wandered away when we weren't looking, the life guards found him an hour later 2 miles away and got him to get into their truck by telling him that the truck was going to Michigan...yeah, that made me so comfortable to know). It happened last summer, and I didn't take him back to the beach after that. I just couldn't.

Tony may be the anti-planner, but he cares about kids. He may freak me out for lack of planning, but he knew where all 6 kids were all the time. We made sure we took my mom also, which made it 4 adults and 6 kids. Not a bad ratio really.

Overall, everything turned out fine, but I just didn't enjoy myself as much without preparation.

Winging it with my kids just isn't my specialty. I seem like a pretty laid back person to some people, but really, 4 kids require planning in order to make my life even close to sane. I'm flexible in a lot of things, but I need at least a few hours notice for drastic changes in plans. Yeah, I totally blame my kids. On my own I don't usually plan anything. I don't need a plan when I'm just taking care of me. Those occasions are so seldom, though, that I don't usually have the opportunity to relax like that. I have 4 kids, and I like it that way. My kids have caused me to grow in the area of planning. I just don't think it's a bad thing even if it makes me seem neurotic when my family comes around. I'll take my "planner" label and go with it.

Furniture and Stuff

2011-03-09T15:20:00.000-08:00

My house is filled with furniture.

I mean, beyond the normal amount of furniture. Well, not really. If everything was in it's place we wouldn't have extras...but things just aren't in the right places.

Let me explain. I'm not a hoarder, just kind of lazy. I have a garage full of stuff. The thing is, this garage is converted to a bedroom. It was my bedroom until my mom moved in with my grandmother, then I took her room and stuff took over my room. It shouldn't be just filled with stuff. It should be functional. I am going to be moving my girls into that room because it's a lot bigger than their room and there are 3 of them so they can use the space. My mom will still have a room in my house, it will be where the girls' room is now.

Makes sense right?

I have to go through the stuff and get rid of most of it still.

Mostly it's books and old clothes that kids have grown out of. A few boxes of random things, some craft supplies...you know, stuff. Just stuff.

The thing is, by the time I actually get through cleaning the rest of my house every day, I'm tired and just don't want to think about that garage.

So my stuff sits.

I'd feel worse if I didn't have a whole lot of excuses why I haven't gotten around to it lately. Between my grandmother moving, GS cookie season, planning a wedding for my friend, baseball season starting, emergency gallbladder surgery, my husband leaving for a memorial service for his grandmother who passed away recently...the list goes on and on, but they really are just excuses. I should have done more by now.

So what does that have to do with furniture? We bought my girls some furniture for their new bedroom with the tax refund. It's still in boxes in my dining room. Then there's the furniture that my grandmother wanted my girls to have when she moved from her house to a small apartment. Yeah. Furniture everywhere.

It's starting to drive me nuts. When we first got it all in the house, I was pretty much useless because I was still recovering from my surgery. Tony did a lot of work in that garage, but sorting things and organizing them just isn't where his skills lie (unless the things are on the computer). If everything was just as easy as "move that over there" then Tony would have done it by now.

I'm pretty much recovered from my surgery. I still have a twinge now and then, so I'm not planning on lifting anything. Still, I need to get the sorting done so that Tony can lift and put stuff where it goes.

I don't wanna.

I know, grow up Supermommie! Get up off your chair and sort some stuff! Stop blogging about it and do it!

Okay, okay. You don't have to yell!

Nag. :)

Girl Scout Cookie Sales

2011-03-08T12:00:00.000-08:00

I know, some of you are tired of hearing about Girl Scout Cookies.

Me too.

The sale ends on Monday and Becca might not reach her goal, though she will be within a few (like maybe 20) boxes of it. Sad, huh?

Her goal was ambitious. She wanted to sell 750 boxes of Girl Scout cookies. At $4 a box, I couldn't help her out THAT much. She has gone door to door, sold at 4 different churches, came up with a marketing strategy for my Facebook (the Girl Scout Cookie Fact of the Day), had a "lemonade stand" in our front yard several days, sold at booths with the troop, made fliers and advertised in her Daddy's and Grandma's offices and asked everyone she knows if they would like to buy. There are few things that she hasn't tried in order to sell.

Right now we are at 658 boxes, and that doesn't include her hours for selling at the booths. We're looking at about 75 boxes for that. That's 733...a really frustrating total.

So here's my delimma. I'm not the type of mom to just buy the other 17 boxes. It's her work that should get her to the goal. I've done a LOT for her, but still, the majority of the work that has been done came from her. She is 7 years old and has a LOT to be proud of. The thing is, there is only one other girl in the troop who will hit and has hit the 750 goal. That girl has special needs and really isn't great with people. Becca loves her. She loves hanging out with her. Going to Disneyland with her friend was really her goal. The other girl will go without Becca, but she really wanted her to be there. She's not the kind of girl who will be outgoing and find a new friend. Becca wanted to go be her friend.

One thing Becca will not do: she will not go around exploiting her friend's needs so that she will get that sympathy box of cookies. It's something we don't do around here. I don't go advertising that my son has autism so that people will do things for us, and I won't do it for any other kid with different needs either.

The other thing is that while Becca did the majority of the work, she asked quite a few people who the twins will be asking next year as well. This is probably the last year that she will get her total up that high unless she does something more than what she did this year (and believe me, this was drastic enough for me, if she does more next year, she will be more on her own).

So here I am. I have one of those parenting dilemmas. Part of me wants to go walk the neighborhoods again begging, but Becca has to have that idea. I asked people on Facebook again because Becca asked me to, but she has to have the ideas. I'm leaving the ball in her court. I'm frustrated, but not going to Disneyland isn't the end of the world. Becca has good reasons, but the reality is that she has to earn what she wants. She deserves something special, but it doesn't have to be Disneyland.

I Feel Awful

2011-02-14T12:55:00.000-08:00

Everyone keeps asking me how I'm feeling. The answer is awful. I don't know how to spin it to make it sound better or positive. I just feel awful.

It's Valentine's day. Not my favorite day anyway. I feel bad for all the flowers being murdered for the day (morbid, huh?). I feel bad for all the people who are going to get sick eating chocolates or all the people who are spending waaay too much on them.

Then there's the fact that Saturday night I had emergency surgery to remove my gallbladder. I guess by the time I was done it was officially Sunday. Apparently I had several stones in my gallbladder. They were the size of marbles. It was really painful.

I spent most of yesterday in the hospital waiting to be released. My bed was broken for most of that, so I was totally uncomfortable as well. The nurse told me that if I wanted to be released, I had to get up and walk...but the bed wouldn't move down so I had to slide to get down...not a painless procedure.

I finally got home to sit in each piece of furniture and realize that all of it was painful because I sunk into all of them. Not fun for my abdomen. I ended up going to Living Spaces and getting a new recliner after sitting on all of them that they had in the store (something else I don't recommend after surgery). I ended up sleeping on my chair last night because it's the only piece of furniture in the house that doesn't hurt to get out of.

I am so thankful for my new chair! Hooray for something I am not complaining about!

Today I took off my bandages and I get to take a shower soon too. I still have steri strips on. I look like I have bullet holes in my stomach. My kids were amazed when I told them that the surgeon used lasers on me to cut out my rocks in my stomach. I think I became so cool to them. Micah likes my laser holes.

I think the worst thing is that I can't hold my babies. Just getting soft hugs from them is an adventure. Micah craves hugs and I can't do anything to help him.

The most painful thing is coughing. Since I was on oxygen for a little while, my sinuses got messed up, so I am coughing a little bit. It's more painful than child birth for sure.

What's the best part? Umm...I don't know...I'm thinking about it...the fact that I lost some weight when they took out all the rocks? Nah, probably my chair.

I will get through this. Tony is off work today and my friend Shelley is going to babysit me tomorrow.

Just so you know, gallbladder surgery is not something you want to go through.

Girl Scouts and Tie Dye and Opening my home

2011-01-22T18:06:00.000-08:00

I'm not the most hospitable person normally. It's not that I don't want to share my life with people, but I'm terribly embarrassed when people come over to my house and things just aren't perfect. I'm not perfect. I don't claim to be, but still, just the thought of people coming over and judging me is abhorrent to me.

That being said, today I had a tie dye party for our girl scout troop at my house today.

Nerve wracking as it was to open my home, I still did it here. Then there's the fact that I'd never tie dyed in a huge group ever. The thought of bringing dye near 20 kids is frightening on it's own.

Can I just say it's a miracle that I survived the day?

I'm a bundle of stress the whole time, but it still went well. I'm exhausted, but that's mostly stress. I ordered pizza for my family so we had something to eat tonight. Micah's pizza is as easy as a microwave (thank God I had something that would serve as crust on hand).

Why is this so hard for me? Having family around doesn't bother me (unless it's my grandmother) because they know me and know I'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. Anyone else is just hard to have around. Today I couldn't get around it, so it happened. Why am I so leery of being hospitable? It's one of those things I really need to work on.

So the tie dye party was a success. I wish I remembered to take pictures among everything else that I was doing. Tony even charged the battery for me today to make sure I could. Too many hats, I guess. I just don't mix photographer with other hats well. I didn't hear a single complaint from parents, and some of them were jumping right in helping out in every way they could. I heard only good things so far.

Anyway, just thought I'd share. I'm releasing stress blogging I guess. One of these days I will have the energy and the gumption to write about my goals for this year...it's still January, right?

The Past and the Present

2011-01-10T15:30:00.000-08:00

Well, I haven't blogged in a while, but it's a new year, so I thought I'd blog a bit. It's not a resolution, but I figure I'll do well if I blog at least once a month. I hope for more, but that's just not always possible.

Funny how many blogs I read start out with similar paragraphs....

Anyhoo, what's going on?

The kids are finally back to school. They were off for 3 weeks, which was starting to get on my nerves. I love my kids, but we need a break from each other sometimes. My patience runs thin after a while. I find myself looking forward to the end of July when the twins start Kindergarten. It will be weird, I've never been the mom who doesn't have children in the mornings before. Knowing me, I'll end up spending half my time at their school and the other half avoiding cleaning my house until I eventually give in. I have all kinds of plans for my time, but in the end, I figure that's what will happen.

Today I worked with some other ladies from my church on a skit for this Sunday's service. It should be interesting. I've never worked with so little time on a skit before. I love doing this kind of thing, though, so it should be fun.

It's different to just be involved at church and not be in charge of things. I really like it. I think it has to do with some of the awesome people that I am working with. Cristi, the lady who is in charge of drama at the church, is really fun to be around. She has 2 cute little girls. One is a little younger than the twins, and the other is a little older. Cristi's mom is in charge of AWANA at Palm, and she does a great job, especially since she just started as commander this year. This whole family has a real heart to serve. They remind me a bit of my own family.

Oh, something I haven't blogged about: my mother moved out of my house...sort of.... My grandmother had been in the hospital for a little while and was released last month. My mother, who knows that my grandmother really couldn't come home without help, went to live with her. My mom is still keeping her room at my house, and she still plans to "live" here, but she has a room at my grandmother's and is going to be taking care of her there. I don't think it's really worked out what's going to happen, but I have a room where my mom can stay here, and my mother has a room with my grandmother. In all of this, my grandmother is moving to an apartment that is pretty close to my house, so I'll be able to visit with her and help her out as well. I just hope that in everything, my mother doesn't end up feeling stretched too thin. She's also going through a rough time at work. I just hope that I can provide for her a place where she can rest when she needs to.

My house is quiet...I wonder what's wrong...the twins are napping...Micah is having a snack...Becca is doing homework...there's no TV...no one bugging me...this is weird.

Girl Scouts is going well. Cookie sales are coming, so I'm getting prepared. Don't be surprised when I have Becca here writing on my blog selling cookies. She wants to go to the Disneyland trip that they have for big sellers, so we are going to be a bit crazy with sales this year. She did pretty well just at the end of the sale last year, so I hope she will get to her goal this year. She just has to sell 750 boxes of cookies for that...it can happen, right? Along with that Disneyland trip she would get a $200 "cookie card" that she can spend in the store on uniforms and GS stuff. That would be what I want for her. Girl Scouts stuff is expensive.

I had some goals that I blogged about at the beginning of last year, and since I started them on the blog, I figure I should at least tell you what happened with them.

1. Listen Better: Honestly, I think I achieved a bit better than I was last year at this time. I can't say that I'm perfect, just better. Becca and I have a better relationship because I listen to what she has to say. I feel like I spent over half the year waiting and listening to what God wanted us to do at church. It really helped to hear from Him and have it confirmed that we did what He wanted us to do. I still think I need to work on this, but I'm pretty sure I am better than last year, which is what the goal was all about anyway.

2. More Organized: Wanna know something funny? It took adding something else to my schedule to get more organized. Taking on the Girl Scout troop has helped me in this area tremendously. I know that someone else (besides my family, who are very forgiving) is depending on me to be organized. My calendar is full, but I'm not over-scheduling because I'm putting it on my calendar. I take out my phone when people ask me about a certain date to check my calendar to find out if I can actually do it. These things may seem simple and routine for some, but for me, I didn't do it before. I even added a new calendar recently that is online and will go to Tony's phone so that he can check it and add his stuff to it, too. It makes my life easier knowing what is going on with my family at a glance...now if only my phone hadn't broken last week...but I'm getting a new phone this week, so I'll be fine.

3. Feel Better: I actually do feel better. I'm walking some in order to get my body used to a bit more exercise at a time. I'm actually taking my meds (duh, that might work, huh?), and I'm keeping my temperature regulated so I don't have the relapse. The only thing that I still need to work on with this (beyond keeping up what I'm doing now) is to stop stressing out. As I become more organized, I'm becoming less stressed, so hopefully all of that will work itself out, too.

Those were the goals for last year. I'm thinking of my new ones for this year...I think that will be a different blog entry.

Advent

2010-12-02T01:05:00.000-08:00

For the second year, my family will be celebrating Advent. It's an awesome tradition that helps my kids remember what the meaning of Christmas really is to us.

Two years ago, right after Christmas, while going shopping at the after Christmas sales with my mom, I came across this really great Advent calendar. At 90% off, I'm going to buy a lot of things that had very little reason yet (we won't talk about my shopping habits in this blog post though) but this one was an awesome find. I really have to take a picture of it...

Anyway, it's like any reusable Advent calendar thing, it has little doors for each day with the number for the day. I figured I'd use it, and I think it only cost me a couple of bucks anyway, so there it sat until Christmas season rolled around the following year.

Christmas lately (for the last 4 years), I've been decorating my house with a new theme every year. Each theme was based on a scent. Cinnamon one year, gingerbread...you get it. This year is peppermint.

Add the tradition of advent with my theme of the year and I had something in my little boxes that was a fun family activity for every night. Last year, that was how we decorated the tree. The kids made ornaments at least twice a week last year...it was a really full tree when it was finished.

This year I decided to break out old decorations and just add as we go when necessary. We may make one ornament a week. If the tree gets too full I'll put away some of the store bought decorations quietly after the kids go to bed at night.

Tonight, for the first night of our Advent calendar, we made candy canes out of chenille sticks. We talked about what the shape of a candy cane reminds us of. We turned it upside-down and talked about what words start with J. The kids eventually caught on and started to talk about Jesus. I love it when the conversation goes that way with only a little prodding. Ali and Zoe were talking about baby Jesus and how "Christmas is about him."

Some days we might read stories, some days make fun stuff, some days we might start early and bake something. I'm even thinking of a family outing this year for it. It's all about the family activity, and helping the kids solidify in their minds what Christmas is really all about. It's what the kids look forward to.

Maybe some day my kids will roll their eyes at me making them come open the little door and wonder why they can't go out with their friends for almost the entire month of December, but I will continue to be that mean, dorky mom who makes them go through the motions and tell me about what Christmas is really all about. It's a family tradition that I'm making up as I go along because I'm like that.

Halloween Costumes Part 2

2010-10-31T23:13:00.000-07:00

Tonight was successful. We had a great time at our church's Fall Fun Festival. The kids got more candy than we could eat in a year (I say that every year, but it's totally true. I throw away candy every year right before Halloween).

Here are the pictures that you have been waiting for:
My Southern Belle
My princess.
The Estrella GPS. Yes, Micah has decided that Dora should no longer be using a map, so he offers himself to be the GPS for the price of a few Estrellas per location found.

The Lady Pirate. Isn't she perfect? It's kinda hard to take her seriously in the tutu, but she'd make you walk the plank. The high-pitched "ARRR!" is just perfect.

I never got a great picture of all of them together. They wouldn't hold still long enough.

This is the fun that they had tonight:
Yes, she can bounce in that dress.
Yes, the gloves help her bowl.Look in the back, that's the only picture I have of the back of Becca's head tonight. Her hair took forever and I didn't think to take good pictures. This is after a bounce or two...it's still holding. Hair spray was my friend.

Well, there you go, that was Halloween. Good times.

Halloween Costumes

2010-10-29T08:47:00.000-07:00

I generally make the kids' costumes for Halloween. I just can't bring myself to spend $15-40 per kid on costumes in a store when I can make stuff myself for next to nothing. I tend to use items that can be used over and over for the costumes, or at least keep the costumes for the girls to play dress up.

This year, the girls changed their minds about what they wanted to be again and again until I put my foot down. Once I bought or gathered materials, there was no going back anyway.

To be fair, Zoe kept going back and forth between whatever the costume idea of the day was and her final decision. Even to the point of trying to make every idea part of her original idea, which was a lady pirate. When I suggested to the twins that they could dress up as a pair of dice, she said "yeah, I can be a dice lady pirate!"

Ali wanted to be a princess...she just kept changing what kind of princess she wanted to be. When I suggested the dice to her, she said, "okay, I'll be a dice princess!"

I gave up on the dice thing pretty much immediately. It was just a twin idea that I thought would be cute and easy.

Becca changed her mind constantly with no running theme. She wanted to be everything from a crayon to an evil queen. When I finally said no more changing your mind, she was the one who complained that she still wasn't sure.

Micah had his idea from the moment I first asked him. He knew what he wanted an how he was going to make it. He ended up doing it pretty much by himself, too. I love it that he's 9 and able to do stuff like that.

The final result:
Ali is a princess...she looks a bit ballerina, but it's a princess.
Zoe is a lady pirate. Complete with a high pitched "ARRR!" She's got a bit of ballerina in her costume too, but she said it's what lady pirates wear. She sounded so confident in that fact that I just let it go. Besides, tutus are really easy to make.
Becca is a southern belle. She's decided that it's a horrible costume, though, because she can't run in it. She fell so many times last night that I wished I had a video camera on me all the time so I could send it into AFV for a bit of money for her bruises. Poor kid.
Micah titles his costume "Estrellas" and I really can't explain it beyond a description that really doesn't do it justice. You'll have to wait for the pictures.

Last night we had a practice Halloween. We went trick or treating at my mom's work, and then Becca and I went to a Halloween party for GS.

I thought I got pictures, but when I looked this morning, I found that the CF card wasn't loaded in my camera. That's what I get for handing the camera to my mom without checking to make sure it's totally ready first.

So I have no pictures of the results, but I will Sunday night.

To be continued...

My Friends' Homestead

2010-10-26T19:08:00.000-07:00

Today I went to visit my friend who is moving to a new property that she calls "the homestead." It's a place that isn't on any maps, has no running water, no electricity, no gas, and the building is currently being rebuilt. It's a project that is not without challenges.

I went there today with the twins because my friends asked me to take pictures down their well. I had no idea how to do this because there's really no light down there, so I researched and figured out some stuff to try.My day already started off bad for this project because my mag light wasn't working. I went to buy new batteries. That didn't work. The light bulb needs to be replaced. That's strike one.

I tried it with other flashlights and this is the result.
I realized that my light from above wasn't going to be helpful, so I went with just the lights that were lowered by the rope.
Well, it's a well established fact that there is water down there, but no matter how well the camera was braced, something was shaking too much for the 30 second exposure, and that was the only way to get enough light for the picture to show up at all.

I found myself without the right equipment to make it work. It was a shot in the dark (literally and figuratively) anyway.

So since I spent over an hour sitting on my knees in front of the tiny well trying to make something happen that really wasn't possible, we decided we needed a break. Besides, I heard the magic words "I need to go potty" out of the girls.

Did I mention that there are no bathroom facilities there?

Yup, I took the twins to pee in a bush. It's their first experience with that. Becca's first experience with that was at 2, so they were a little late in my book anyway.

Off we went to try and achieve this monumental task of peeing without a toilet. It's not easy for a girl anyway, but for a 4 year old girl, it's just horrible. "What's squat?" "Why can't we just use the potty?" "How do I make it come out if I'm not sitting?" "What do I do if I have to poop?" "I'm helping the flowers grow!"

It was a learning experience.

Then we went for a hike.
There was some climbing involved for the short ones.Overall, it was a fun time. It was a failed experiment with my camera, but we had fun seeing my friend's house.

Good Morning Sunshine!

2010-10-14T14:11:00.000-07:00

This morning began as usual. My children came to my room to tell me that the sun is up and it's time for the day to begin. Every day it's the same thing. They come to my room, jump on me, I turn over and poke Tony, and he gets up and makes the kids breakfast while I spend some time waking up properly.

Tony gets up with the kids every morning. It's part of what makes him the most awesome husband ever. I think we both wake up about the same rate, but he gets up and gets the kids breakfast and sits at the computer to wake up the rest of the way. The kids get up at the crack of dawn, so he has time before getting everyone ready for school. I stay in bed, have my quiet time, sleep a bit more. It works for us.

As I was in bed for my quiet time this morning my phone rang. It was my friend (I won't name names to protect the innocent...but she has red hair) called me and asked if I would come out and pick her up and give her a ride to work. She was having car troubles. I wasn't busy. I thought it wouldn't be a big deal even though it's about a 25-30 minute drive to get to her house from mine. She works pretty close to me, and she was a friend in need. I got up and started to ready myself for this trip.

Micah decided that he wasn't going to get ready for school today. He wanted to wear the same pants. There was a hole in them that he really liked. He had told me about this hole over and over the day before, so I knew all about the hole. It was just in the knee. I told him that he had to change underwear, then I smelled the pants. I was so not letting him wear them again. It was not an option. Being the creative mom that I am, I asked if he wanted a hole in the new pants that he was going to wear. This worked. Micah stopped his fit and Tony put a hole in the pants inside on a seam where no one would ever know or care. This made it take a bit longer to get out the door, though.

Finally when Tony saw that he was running a bit too late to get both kids (2 schools) to school on time, he asked me to drop off Becca. Cool. I could do that. Becca doesn't like it, but she can get over it. She just likes to be with Daddy in the mornings. Mommy is chopped liver.

So I put 3 girls in the van and go. I dropped Becca off at the school, programmed my GPS and off we went.

We picked up my red haired friend with no problems. I really didn't know where the place was because I hadn't been there before, but that's what the GPS is for.

Yay! I could get my friend to work! About a mile or so into the drive I feel a bump bump bump...it's a flat tire.

No big deal, my friend has AAA. She calls and we wait. About 30 minutes later he arrives and tells me to drive the car on the rim so that we are on another street. Um, NO! I've driven that car on the rim before. It was the biggest bill I've ever had for repairs on a car. He says he'll call a tow truck to take me to somewhere to replace my tire. I tell him no thanks. I have a full size spare. He refuses to change the tire claiming that it's unsafe. I'm only pulled off to the side of the road. It's a residential area, and everyone can see. It's not like I was in the middle of the road!

I told him forget it, I'll change it myself. I got out my dinky little jack and started to change it. My friend gets on the phone and is complaining to AAA. I honestly don't care, I can change a tire with no problem.

That's what I thought anyway.

I start to work my jack. It's not anything fancy, just the dinky thing that came with the car. I get it going and then suddenly it gets stuck. Stuck? What good is a jack that won't make the car go up?

My friend starts messing with it and it's going no where, so it wasn't just me.

Along came a guy who was hanging signs. He's running for city council. I think I heard that come out of his mouth like 50 times while he tried to change my tire.

Halfway to getting my van up to change the tire, the jack breaks.

SUPER!

My friend gets on the phone to her mom to see if she has a jack. I get on the phone to try and get in touch with someone who might help.

No one can come.

The guy who was running for city council called someone. They came and we had a jack. He got the tire changed (though I'm sure I've changed more tires than he has, he didn't know that a hubcap doesn't go on a spare), and we thanked him. We got his card, though I don't think he got it in his head that I wouldn't be able to vote for him as I don't live in that city.

We finally got my friend to work. I sat and chatted with some friends there. I really should have been grocery shopping, but I was irritated, so I decided I'd go after lunch. The twins played while my friend worked and then we went to lunch.

We went to a restaurant where we often went, and we always have great service. They are really nice and great to the twins. The food is good, too. The problem was that when we were about to leave, a huge group came in and took all their attention. We ended up going up to the cashier because our bill never came to the table.

I dropped my friend off back at work then went to the grocery store. I was not alone. It's a Thursday afternoon, the day before the 15th when a lot of people get paid, but the store was packed. On top of that, there was a bunch of kids running around the store pushing things off the shelves. I tried to get out of there fast, but with the twins, that's not always possible.

I got into line and of course there was a lady who had every coupon on the planet, WIC (one of the most annoying government programs for the person who needs it because it takes so long at the check out), and happened to be the parent of the kids who were at that point getting kicked out of the store because the knocked over another person's cart. I'm so glad it wasn't mine because I probably would have hurt some kids after the day I was having.

I've had a beautiful day so far. Can you tell?

Can I start my day over?

A Girl Scout Message

2010-10-13T13:05:00.000-07:00

Here's a video that was recently released by Girl Scouts.

I agree with most of this message, and yet it disturbs me. Question everything? I get the point about not following celebrities and the stuff you see on TV. I just don't know that I want my kids to hear "question everything".

The most annoying thing in parenting in my opinion is when I tell my child to do something and they ask "why?" I find myself saying "because I said so" too much. Why is that annoying? I have authority over my children. When I tell them to do something, they need to do it. After they have obeyed, I don't really mind explaining to them the reasons why I told them to do it, but I still expect obedience. Do I really want my children told to question me?

How does that translate to adult life? Authority is there for a reason. There's a speed limit, we are expected to obey it. When you are stopped by a policeman for speeding, you don't question him as to why there is a speed limit. You take your ticket and argue it after if you feel it's wrong. If you disagree with the speed limit, there are valid ways to get it changed, but the limit is still there and there are consequences if you ignore it.

While I would like my children to form opinions and think about the whys and hows of things, I still expect respect for authority. Should you question everything? Is it possible that there are things that you just won't ever understand and you just have to accept in faith? Of course, you won't know what those things are unless you question them first. How else do you know what to accept in faith and what is actually explainable.

Then there's the idea that no one should tell you what you should wear...hmmm...I have a problem with that. I tell my kids what they are allowed to wear. I should tell them how they should look. That's my job as a parent. I listen to God and my husband about what I should wear. It makes more sense to emphasize who you should listen to about how you should look.

If a doctor told you that your weight was so much of a problem that if you didn't diet, you would die, should you question him/her? Sure, get a second opinion, third opinion, whatever, but the reality is that the way you look affects your health. You can tell everyone that you like how you look and you are going to stay unhealthy, but it's going to make a difference in your lifespan.

On a smaller level, if your friend told you that you have something in your teeth, you would fix it, right? You might even get irritated if you had something in your teeth and no one told you, right? Sometimes what people tell you about how you look is a good thing. You just have to know who to listen to.

So, while I agree that it's a bad thing to listen to someone just because they are on TV, I'm still questioning this message. Of course, that's what they told me to do....

What's going on?

2010-10-11T11:52:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I really blogged about what is actually going on in my life. There has been a lot of stuff going on, so that's probably why. I'm just too busy to talk about my busy life. That and there are things that I really couldn't share on the internet until they were done, so I was really stuck.

Anyway, here goes.

Tony and I have left the church where we have been for the last 10 years. God has called us away, and since we have been gone (our last week was the last week of August) He has confirmed for us that this was from Him.

That was a really rough decision. It's hard to leave the normal and go to the unknown. God really didn't give us any direction besides "go" so we have been going. A church search is really not anything that I have ever done, so I sat down at my computer and researched. Honestly, if the church didn't have a website, I didn't know that they existed beyond those that we had already ruled out, so that's where our search began.

This was really frustrating. When we began the search, I felt my hands tied. I couldn't blog about it. I couldn't even talk to my friends about it. It was just Tony and me and God. I felt like if I couldn't talk about it soon, I was going to explode. Tony and I weren't able to get out and talk about it much, and we couldn't discuss it in front of the kids (they were confused enough already).

Now, we have a church where we have been attending for a while, and it looks like we are likely to join. I've been feeling unsettled, though, and it didn't help that I was hanging out with people from our old church on Saturday and people kept hinting that we should come back. It's really hard to just smile and not comment. Yesterday something happened, though. I'd had a conversation via text with one of my friends (who was actually one of the people who had made a comment, but she got the hint and let it drop), and she said some things that made me think. I told her that my family was all exited about this church, but I really wasn't. I just wanted a friend, and I don't make friends really easily, so I wanted my old friends. She basically told me to get over myself. Not like that, this person is unfailingly polite so she wouldn't put it that way, but that was the gist of what she said. I stopped and prayed. I prayed quite a bit that night and through to Sunday morning. I really wanted to be sure that my issues weren't just me being selfish and not wanting to change.

Sunday School hour Tony, my mom, and I have been meeting with the pastor. It's just something that this church does to let people know what they are getting into coming to the church. The question that came up had to do with our past churches. That conversation, that could have taken a few seconds had the pastor phrased his question any differently, took the whole hour. We let him know what we have been through with churches and our emotional roller coaster over the years. It was a good conversation. Afterward, I felt a lot better about staying. It's hard to be where you have a whole lot of history, but I think it was harder to try and stay where they knew nothing about us.

Then the evening came, and it was time for AWANA. Tony and I have never had our kids in AWANA and not been involved before, so has been really odd for us to just drop off our kids and not know what to do. It turned out to be a really good time. Tony and I have gotten to know a some awesome people. Some that I could easily see being really good friends with. I'd never had that before this Sunday there. For the first time, I'm actually at ease with being there. Tony has been happy with it there, and excited to join for a couple of weeks now. The kids are getting along really well, too. I really just needed to get over myself.

What else is going on?

I've started another project. Becca's Girl Scout troop needed a leader and I volunteered. It's been stressful, but it's really starting to work out. I have a lot of really great help, and while paperwork isn't usually my thing, and that's most of my job, I'm thinking I can handle it. The troop is getting smaller. I don't know if it's because of anything that I have done, but it actually needed to be smaller anyway. Last year it went from 9 girls at the beginning of the year to something like 55 at the end. It was huge and disorganized. Now we are getting the structure that we needed, and the girls aren't sticking around. We still have around 30 girls in our multi-level troop, but it's working out well.

What else?

My grandmother has been in and out of the hospital lately. She's currently in a rehab facility. She just got over pneumonia after a major surgery (colostomy) and still isn't walking. This has been stressful for my mom more than anyone else. My mom is going out to be with my grandmother every day. It's taking a lot out of her.

This affects me because my mom hasn't been around for Tony and I to go out at night after the kids go to bed as often. She usually made dinner, too. That's not happening anymore. It's been hard to learn how to cook without overheating myself. The kids miss their grandma, too. Still, my grandmother needs my mom more than I need her right now. We're all doing okay without her. It's not as easy, but that's okay.

Today my mom is off work, but relaxing during the day then going out to see my grandmother at her regular time. I'm trying my best to just let her rest and keeping the twins from disturbing her too much. My mom really needs it.

Even MORE?

Micah has begun a new behavior therapy. He has a behavior tutor that is coming out 5 hours a week to help him. He has begun to run away a lot, and they are going to be working with him on that as well as a bunch of other smaller goals.

I'm really happy about the therapy, but until the tutor is settled with him, that's 5 hours out of my week focusing on Micah as well. That's harder. I was hoping that it means that I'm going to have that time to focus more on my girls, but I guess it will be a while before they get to that point.

I think that's about it. I would talk about my craft projects that I am starting, but they are for family for Christmas. Since some of the family reads my blog, that isn't going to work. Other than that, there's the financial struggles that we are having (like everyone else on the planet), but no one wants to read about that and this blog is long enough already. Besides, God has it all under control anyway.

A Conversation with the Boss of the World

2010-09-10T20:54:00.000-07:00

Becca has always thought that she is the boss of the world. It is usually a struggle to get her to do chores because she didn't make up those rules. She knows that she has to get through school to "rule the world for real" so she doesn't complain about homework going to school, but any activity that is my idea is usually a battle.

Today is no exception. Becca shares a room with the twins. She hates this idea. I know, it's something that every sibling that shares a room goes through, but to her, it's because I want to torture her and make her clean up after her sisters. Daddy is not at fault because she believes that Daddy wants her to have her own room, but I don't want to give up the phantom "extra space" that I am hiding somewhere. I asked the girls to go clean their room. This is a daily activity, so it seems like it should be expected, but apparently it's a shock to the girls every day.

When the girls clean the room all together, usually it means that Becca is yelling at the twins to pick up their stuff, then I have to go in and speak to Becca about her attitude. Daily. The twins don't listen to her when she's yelling anyway, so I don't know why she continues. Still, it's a conversation that ends in prayer every day.

Today was interesting. Becca (who is under the firm belief that I know very little and am only the boss because Daddy isn't in the room to tell me differently) finished the conversation with "Mom, you wouldn't understand! It's just so hard to be always right when no one listens to me!"

I would have laughed, but that doesn't help the attitude.

My response: "You're right, I wouldn't know that feeling, but I'm pretty sure you don't either."

There was a pause. A long pause. A pause in which she went to her room and cleaned without a word. Not a word to Ali and Zoe (who weren't doing anything but sitting and watching Becca-which they got in trouble for later, but that's a whole different subject). Nothing.

Becca came back to me after her room was clean, gave me a hug, and said, "Alright, I guess God is the only one who knows that feeling."

My child was humbled by God. Nothing I said was new to her. She has heard me state that I don't know everything before, so nothing I said made any difference to her.

It was bedtime, and I had another issue on my hands with Micah at that point, so I couldn't go into any further conversation with her on the subject, but I knew that the Holy Spirit was working in my daughter's life tonight. Cool, huh?

Becca and I pray together quite often these days. Our relationship is not the greatest still, but we are working on it. Honestly, I was at the end of my rope with her before she made a decision to follow Christ. I still have a bit of a power struggle, but I have brought out her Bible and shown her things and she frowns and obeys. Before I would hear things like "I don't like God, then." "I don't want to make God my boss if He is going to say things like that." It was really hard to watch. Now, Becca chooses to obey. It's not me she obeys, really, but she knows that God has my back so she's going to have to deal with me for a while.

VeggieTales...especially for girls

2010-08-12T16:25:00.000-07:00

I know that I'm a little late with this post, but in case you haven't heard:

VeggieTales made a movie just for girls!

I know, I sound like a commercial. I do that a lot about the Veggies.

It's called Sweetpea Beauty, and it's really good.

My girls all loved it, and so has every other little girl that I've shown it to.

The point is simple: it's about beauty being something defined by God, not us. We put so many restrictions on beauty, but the reality is that God made us all beautiful, and beauty is not about appearance.

I love that they tied in several princess stories for this one...and they brought back the Snoodles! I love the Snoodles.

So, as hard as it is for me to get into the girly thing, and if you know me, you know that pink and I only go together when the pink is attached to my kid, I really like this movie. Every little girl should see this movie.

Okay, commercial over. You may now return to your regularly scheduled internet surfing.

Twins Birthday

2010-08-06T23:50:00.000-07:00

The twins will be turning 4 soon. I can hardly believe it. It seems like just yesterday
My babies. They just aren't babies anymore. Can you tell which one is which in the picture above? I can! The one below is pretty easy. Their personalities are showing, and they are soooo different in that way.

This week we have been working on new "big girl chores" that they are really excited about. Ali is learning to load the dishwasher and Zoe is learning to wash the counters and pick up in the bathroom. They are both so excited. I miss that in my older two. The twins are growing up, and soon they will be complaining about the dishes instead of happily working on something new.

My twins really want to go to school. They love the idea of Kindergarten. When Micah and Becca have homework, the twins want their own. I give them some worksheets and they do them so happily. I miss that in my older two, too.... Still, I'm keeping them with me as long as I can. They can go to Kindergarten, but until then they are all mine!

At least the cuteness factor hasn't worn off. They are all adorable. I know I'm biased, but it's true.

I haven't decided what we are going to do for their birthday, but it will probably be at home with just family. I love 4. It's an exciting age...and it means that 3 is over. I'm not in love with 3, and will be so glad when it's over and I don't have to do it again. Still, getting past that means that soon the time will come when I have no one to hang out with while the other kids are at school. I don't know what I'll do with myself.

Ranting again...

2010-08-05T15:58:00.000-07:00

First I need to say that I am really just ranting about something that I am irritated about. It doesn't excuse anything, because I know it's on the internet, so therefore it's permenant and public, so I'm not going to mention anything about who caused this particular rant, even if I know that this person probably will never read my blog. I just have a problem with people talking about others behind their back. That being said, I still love this person with all my heart, and I hold nothing against them just because we don't agree.

I just have to say it. Just because a child is to young to understand what they see, doesn't mean that it's okay for them to watch it. As a matter of fact, the fact that they don't understand what they see is a really good reason why they shouldn't see it.

I don't cuss around my kids and I tend to hang around people who won't cuss around them, either. I don't, as a rule cuss anyway, but this is especially true around my kids. Why? I don't want them to repeat things that they shouldn't...because they don't understand what they would be repeating (as well as a few other good reasons).

My kids aren't allowed to watch certain movies because I know that they won't understand them, and I don't want them to do or say something from the movie that would not be good.

My kids don't listen to much secular music, either. They don't understand certain themes, and they tend to memorize lyrics easily, and I don't want them singing certain songs that would be inappropriate. I don't think it's cute for a 3 year old to sing about kissing a boy or dating or something else that is not age appropriate. If any boy tried to kiss my 3 year olds, I'd have some serious talking to do...and a law suit if he drives a car.

Seriously, why do people think it's okay? If you numb them to reality starting at such a young age, what makes you think that they will act appropriately when the time comes that they actually think that they understand?

I watched Despicable Me with Tony one night after the kids were in bed. The room was full of kids. It's not a kid movie. If you watch the movie, you see the minions running around doing violent things to each other for a laugh. I know my kids. I know that they would be going home and start slapping each other or pretending to shoot each other with stuff. It's just not okay. There wasn't any language problems, and overall the theme wasn't bad. I actually enjoyed the movie. I'm just saying that my kids can't watch it.

Exposure to these things can be damaging. We have an entire generation of people who just want their kids out of the way, so they put anything that keeps them occupied in front of them no matter what it is in the name of "they don't understand, anyway."

Prisons are overcrowded, people! Don't raise your kid to live in one later! You want better for them, work on it! Kids aren't just there for cute pictures and entertainment! They are hard work! The work doesn't stop because they are old enough to watch TV!

I'm not saying that everyone should parent like I do, but don't expose my kid to that stuff or my kids will have limited or no exposure to you. I'm not hiding my kids from the world. They live in it every day. I just don't think that my 3 year olds should know how to fire a gun...I'll teach them when they are old enough.

Netflix and Cartoons

2010-07-27T08:40:00.000-07:00

Recently we decided to add Netflix into our lives. We don't have cable or satellite or anything, but we like to watch movies, and the late fees for rentals were getting ridiculous, so Netflix was a good option for us. We still have all the control over what the kids watch, and the opportunity to budget better our rental fees.

We have a Wii, so we have been using the streaming option a lot. This allows you to watch on your TV several different movies or old television shows.

I'm starting to sound like a commercial. I don't mean to, I just want to make clear what I'm talking about before I explain what is happening in my house.

Because of the ease and availability, Tony has introduced several old cartoons into the lives of my children. I now have Becca asking to watch the Super Mario Super Show (a show that wasn't worth anything when it was on the air the first time, and now is worse) or Fat Albert. Ali is asking to watch Pink Panther shorts. Zoe asking for Tom and Jerry.

I sit and I watch, knowing how much physical comedy was in the old shows, and I start wondering why I am allowing my kids to watch them. Some are fine. I don't have any problem with Fat Albert, but Tom and Jerry and Pink Panther get pretty violent. I usually keep my kids from that kind of stuff. In the name of "classic cartoons" my kids are watching things that warped the minds of many in my generation. Not that cartoons are any better now. That's pretty much why we don't pay for TV.

I also think that Micah and Becca are mature enough to understand the difference between real and pretend, so I'm not terribly worried about them. It's really the twins that I am having issues with. My girls will be 4 next month, and they still have problems with that difference. Becca had it down by then, but I really pushed it hard for her because she really likes to watch TV. Ali and Zoe don't care as much about TV, so I really haven't pushed it that much. Not that they don't watch TV, but they don't get sucked in like Becca does. I literally have to turn of the TV to get her attention. Ali and Zoe watch, but they can be easily distracted from it. They would much rather play a game with a real person than watch the television. This makes it harder for me to get other things done sometimes, but I'm still glad. When Becca was little, if I needed a shower all I had to do was turn on the TV to a cartoon and I knew that she would be sitting there the whole time. With the twins, I have to get up before Tony leaves to shower or put food and TV in front of them and get in and out in 2 minutes or less or plan on cleaning up some mess.

Well, it looks like I'm going to stress the difference between real and pretend with them now. I talk with them about it some, but I've not been as diligent as I was with my older two. Until they get that concept, I'm going to go back to the 30 minute TV rule.

A week half off...and a birthday party...and stuff...

2010-07-21T11:59:00.000-07:00

This week Micah and Becca are spending the week with Grammy and Grandpa so that they can go to VBS at their church. I'm not incredibly nervous, even though Micah hasn't ever spent more than a day away from home and me at the same time. Routine is a big deal for him, and this week should prove to be interesting. I haven't heard anything from my in-laws yet, so I assume all is well...but I'm ready to call any minute to find out what's going on. They are probably fine, but I'm doing that irrational mom worry thing.

Friday is Becca's birthday. Saturday we are having a party and we have invited a few of her friends. This is new for her. We don't usually invite more than family, but Becca really wanted her friends to come. I'm not having the party at home, either. That's something else that's new. We are having the party at Shakey's pizza. I'm told that parties are easier when you don't have to clean up afterward, and I'm hoping that's true. I know that they aren't real cheap that way, though. I don't have to cook, but I'm buying pizza. I still get to make her cake...but my oven isn't working. I pick up Micah and Becca from my in-law's house on Friday and I'm baking there.

This week is going to be fun if I can just stop stressing over things that might happen. All is really taken care of, but I feel a sense of urgency anyway. Not cool. I gotta learn to relax and trust.

I'm throwing a fit, you may not want to read this...

2010-07-13T20:38:00.000-07:00

Have you ever asked God a question, got an answer you don't like, then have the nerve to ask again thinking that you just heard wrong?

That's kinda what I'm doing right now. I'm frustrated. God told me something that I don't like, and now I'm just going to have to do it. It's uncomfortable. It's hard. I don't like it. Now I'm having a hissy fit like a toddler about it.

I'm pretty sure that His blessing will come because of obedience, but I just don't want to do this thing. I can't even write what it is, so if I'm vague, it's on purpose. Sorry if I don't make sense. Do tantrums ever make sense anyway?

I complain about my kid's tantrums, but I'm sitting here doing the same thing. I'm arguing as though I know best, even though intellectually I know that I don't. I'm not using my brain right now, though. I'm throwing my tantrum.

Twice I've asked God this same question. Twice He's given me the same answer. Then I went to Tony and we asked together...same answer. I'm grumbling because I'm comfortable and I like where I am. Sure, there are difficult things going on where I am, but jumping out and doing the thing that He wants me to do will be harder. I know it already. I don't like it.

What is worse is that 2 years ago, if He had asked me to do this very thing, I would have been totally okay with it. If He asked me to do this thing a year ago, I may have grumbled a bit, but I would have been fine! But no, that wasn't the plan.

I should be excited. There are so many good things for my family that will come out of this. I know that already. I'm just being selfish. I'm comfortable, and I want to stay that way.

So friends, if you have any encouragement, please leave me a comment. I know that there are many verses in the Bible about this...they keep coming to mind, but I don't want to write them. I'm really not in the mood for acceptance at the moment. I know I have to be soon, though. It's never a good idea to disobey.

The Cross Hike

2010-06-07T18:24:00.000-07:00

This is the story about my cross picture. We were hiking a well traveled path and came to a short-cut that looked like it cut out quite a bit of travel time, even though it was a bit rockier. It was a difficult short-cut. I slipped a few times and really should have gotten hurt. It was really a bad idea, even though it looked like a lot of people had done it before. On the way back down, I decided I had learned my lesson. Even though I needed a bathroom, my feet hurt, and I really wanted to get down the trail fast, I decided that staying on the path that we were supposed to be on was the best idea. We got down past a curve and we saw it. It was beautiful. I don’t think my pictures really did it justice because I didn’t really take the time (I did need a bathroom), but we realized something. If we didn’t go on the path that we were supposed to be on, we would have missed this cross.

It was so easy to be swayed to go on the rockier path. So many footprints were there. We knew that it was well traveled. It was steep, but we really wanted to get to the top of this mountain, and this route seemed so much faster. It was really convenient, and it seemed like a good idea until about halfway up when I began to slip. I realized that no matter how tempting, this path was dangerous.

We got to the top, and to tell you the truth, it was rather disappointing. We really had better views before the hike. Mostly the view was bad because of a huge cell phone tower that was right at the top. It made for great service on our phones (Tony and I both updated our Facebook), but I really wanted more than that. We hiked up there to get some good pictures, but it was pretty disappointing.

We began to go down and we debated going down the short cut. There were signs all over the bottom of the hiking path saying for us to stay on the regular path. We decided to obey. When we obeyed, we saw something that made the whole hike worth it.

If I had chosen to obey the first time, I would have had more time to enjoy the cross. I would have had a better picture, and I would have been able to share something with you that would have been much more beautiful. I still have a decent shot, but it could have been better.

When Tony and I were talking about this the rest of the hike down, he said, “What a great sermon illustration.” Can you see it?

Vacation!!!!

2010-05-27T09:17:00.000-07:00

It's coming!

I'm going to go on vacation with my husband (just Tony and I) for a whole week. We are going to Colorado and the kids are staying home with my mom starting MONDAY!!!!!

Can you tell I'm excited?

It's partly because I haven't had a whole lot of time with Tony lately. It's funny. Our weeknights are filled most of the time with one event or another. We make time for each other, but baseball season isn't the best time for that. He umpires for Little League and that takes quite a bit of time. It doesn't bother me that much...except when I need something from him and he has a game. He enjoys it, though, and honestly, I think it's cool.

The other reason I'm excited is because we are going away for a week. We just haven't done that before. We didn't have a honeymoon because I had to be back to work Monday after we got married on Saturday. We have done a weekend before, and we had trips with the kids, but just the two of us is not something we've done.

We are going to Colorado. We are going white water rafting one day. I don't really have other plans. I know that there is stuff to do, so that's cool. Tony and I really looked into what there is to do, so we know what's around (though any suggestions are still welcome).

Our original plan for this vacation was Boston. That didn't work out. My mom is letting us use her timeshare thing, and the one in that area was booked...and we looked in January. So we looked and looked. Finally, after searching for quite some time, we decided on Colorado. I just hope it doesn't rain the whole time. The weather report (which I have been watching closely) says it will be partly cloudy or mostly sunny the whole time. Let's just hope that sticks, because there is a storm that is supposed to hit Friday and Saturday. The temperature is going to be in the high 60's, which is really cold to me (I'm a So Cal girl, I like the temperature at about 80-90), but I'll wear my winter gear and be fine. White water rafting will be done in wet suits, so that's no big deal.

I'm so excited!!! I love my kids, and that's why I need a vacation. Tony and I need to get away for a little while. We'll come back refreshed and ready to take on the summer...and the next 10 years.

Does this make me a bad parent?

2010-05-04T16:07:00.000-07:00

Today, when Micah came home from school, Zoe picked a fight with him.

I let Micah kick her.

I'll clarify.

I still feel kinda bad, though.

Micah came home and didn't have any homework because this week is state testing. He's really been doing well, and I have no problems with his attitude coming from his teachers this week. He was happy when he walked in the door.

Zoe decided that she was going to follow Micah to his room. I don't usually intervene, because sometimes he lets the girls in, sometimes he doesn't. I leave that to him. It's his choice. When he doesn't want them in, he is allowed to tell them "get out of my room."

Zoe was in a particularly irritating mood (so was Ali) all day, and the girls have been mad at each other off and on all day. This made me watchful when Zoe went to play with her brother. I'm listening from the living room down the hall, and I hear, "NO, get out!" I got up. I went to the door and told Zoe to leave Micah's room. At this point, I know Micah is irritated, and I know Zoe is pestering him, and that really isn't a good combination. It's a brother-sister thing, ya know?

The next move was totally preventable. I could have stopped the whole thing before it happened. Zoe took a crayon from Micah, and I knew that that had to have been what irritated him before. Zoe wasn't listening to me or Micah, so there were going to be consequences. I decided at that point to allow Micah to defend his space. Micah took back the crayon and kicked his sister.

First, before you defenders of Zoe are outraged that I would allow my kid to harm another, I want to tell you that Micah doesn't hurt anyone when he strikes the first time. There are warning shots. Always. It's just how Micah operates. He has a routine, and this is definitely part of it. He is a peaceful kid. He doesn't want to hurt anyone. I know that. It's going through my mind that he isn't really going to hurt his sister at first. Especially since he isn't really in a bad mood to start with.

So I let him kick her. Just once. I then intervened and took Zoe out of Micah's room and took her to her time out on her bed. I explained all about how she is not allowed to just take things from Micah without asking, and that if she wants to go into Micah's room, she needs to ask. She continues her time-out after I have (without her really knowing) check out her leg where he kicked her for bruises or marks of any kind. None. Just as I thought. Warning shot.

Zoe's fine, Micah is calm once she is out of his room, and all is quiet in the house again. So...should I have intervened earlier? Should I let him fire off more than the warning shot? I'm still questioning myself. I just hope Zoe learned her lesson.

My Birthday

2010-04-29T13:01:00.000-07:00

Today is my birthday.

Yay!

Today I turn 30. I know, this particular milestone bothers some people, but I'm actually excited about it. I figure that I should no longer be told things like, "you will understand when you are older" or "you're just a baby!"

Those things are condescending and basically rude, yet people still say them. I'm not in my 20's any more. I'm not a teenager. I haven't hit middle age, and I'm still pretty young, but I'm not a baby, either. I have experienced more in my life time than most 30 year-olds, so if everyone would just please give me a break! I look young, I am young, I will continue to be young for the rest of my life. I am not a child, so please, don't treat me like one.

Also, since I am on this subject, what is it about someone being young that makes people figure it's okay to be rude to them? If you expect children to learn manners, then please, teach by example! Don't look down on people just because they are young. Seriously, have you lived their life? Do you know what experiences they have had? There are many people out there who are a lot younger than I that have experienced things that I have not, and therefore I cannot do anything but respect them, especially on those subjects. Just because you have lived longer doesn't mean that you have experienced more.

Okay, I'll get off my soap box now.

Today I have heard "happy birthday" about a hundred times (Micah was a little obsessed this morning, plus many birthday wishes from friends), I visited the DMV to get my license renewed, had lunch with my mom, and now I'm about to go have some fun with my kiddos. I don't really have a plan, but I'm going to have fun. Turning 30 isn't a big deal, just like turning 18 and 21 really weren't, but I like my birthday. I plan on celebrating!

Choices

2010-04-14T10:07:00.000-07:00

I have always given my kids choices. They are people with their own opinions, so I figure it's best to give them the opportunity to express those opinions. I tend to limit their choices, usually to two or three things, but they still get the chance to choose. The one thing that I pretty much give them free reign in is their clothes.

Let me clarify. Anything in their closets works as long as they are fully clothed and modest. Colors and style are their choice. The twins have almost all hand-me-downs, so they don't get to pick stuff out at the store much. Becca does, and Micah really doesn't care. Becca is pretty smart, and I can give her the amount that I am willing to spend, and she does pretty well in picking out things within the budget.

Ali and Zoe have been problems, though. Lately they have been taking everything out of their closet in order to find something that they want to wear. They are 3, not 13! On top of that, they want to change clothes 3 times a day.

Zoe is my princess. She wants to wear dresses at all times. Not just any dress, she wants to wear a dress that "twirls". It has to flow so that if she dances around, it will move with her. She has been known to shout, "princesses don't wear pants, they wear dresses!" and "I'm not a prince, I'm a princess!" when she doesn't get a dress that she likes.

Ali just wants to wear pink. It can be just about anything, as long as it's pink. It can be pants (most of the time, sometimes she just really wants to wear a dress and be a princess like Zoe), but it has to be pink, or at least have pink on it.

Well, after a huge mess first thing in the morning yesterday, I decided I had enough. I just don't want to deal with them taking out all their clothes anymore. I have a hard enough time keeping up with the laundry without them making more work. I'd made them clean up their own mess in the past, and they didn't care. I'd taken away skirts, and that's really when Ali decided that she really didn't care if she had a skirt or dress or anything. I have laid out choices for them before even, and they got into their clothes after I go them dressed and they changed. Over and over they have done this, and I'm just done with the whole thing.

Yesterday I decided to go drastic. The twins no longer get their clothes in their room. I will make choices for them for the day and bring them to them. Maybe after a week or so I will bring them more than one thing to wear so that they get choices again, but they don't get the opportunity to change later.

So what do I do with their clothes? Right now they are in a couple of baskets in my room, but that has to change. I'm figuring that this is going to be a long term thing until my girls learn to keep their room clean and neat. I've already taken away all their toys and started to give some back a little at a time because they can't keep them cleaned up, but now it's the clothes.

My little tornadoes are going to be organized. They have been disasters all their lives and just relied on Becca to clean up after them...and for the most part Becca does it. Now Becca doesn't get the chance to help them out. Becca has tried to be an extra mommy to them all her life, and it's starting to stress her out. She does well to do her own chores and keep up with her school work...take care of the bunny, do her Awana work, Girl Scouts stuff...she's a busy girl. She has asked to help out with Micah sometimes, too. She likes to do homework with him, and it works to let them do it together so I let her. Still, she's a busy kid, and she wants to do more. She doesn't have to do the twins' stuff for them. Becca likes it when no one is in trouble, and the twins take advantage of that.

Ali and Zoe will not be disasters when they go to school. I have a little over a year before they start Kindergarten, and I'm getting them into shape before then. They are smart (poor kids are reading a little already...they are going to be so bored in Kindergarten), they just need to be more organized. I had to have that forced on me as an adult. I'd much rather have my kids learn it from the beginning.

I gotta say, this "no choices" thing is really hard for me. It just goes against how I parent. My kids get choices constantly. Well, not in everything. There are some things that are firm. Rules do exist in my house, and their choice to not follow the rules is not acceptable and they know that. Still, the idea of making lunch without asking my kids what they would like to eat is pretty foreign. I've found that my kids make pretty good choices when I ask them about stuff like that. They tend to ask for broccoli or carrots, and they fight for the opportunity to choose the vegetable that they want with dinner. Not that I'm taking away their choice in food, but the idea is there.

I know it won't hurt them to not choose their clothes for a while, but it goes against my mindset as a parent. Kids who make choices tend to know who they are. They are strong in their opinions and that helps them later in life. It makes parenting harder because their opinions don't always match the parents, but if we give them choices while teaching them right and wrong along the way, those kids can stand up for themselves when choices are more difficult as they grow into adults.

Let's see how this clothing thing goes. As long as I keep in mind that I am teaching them how to make right choices, I'll probably hold out. It's just never been this hard before.

Autism Awareness Month and April Fool's Day

2010-04-01T16:05:00.000-07:00

Today is the start of Autism Awareness Month. It's also April Fool's day...hmm...

Micah has autism. He was officially diagnosed April 4, 2004. Yeah, that's 4-4-04. It wasn't 4 in the afternoon or anything, though. Micah was 2 1/2 years old, and I was totally in love with him then, and love him all the more now that I have gotten to know him a little better. He is extremely intelligent, stubborn as the day is long, sweet, loving, and obnoxious as an 8 year old can be, and a total people-pleaser. It's a fascinating combination that makes him special. Micah loves math, hates clipboards, loves reading, hates explaining himself, loves Cars (the movie...though mostly just the characters...it's something that he collects), hates loud noises...the list goes on and on. He's pretty plain about what he likes and definitely plain about what he doesn't like.

If the world relied totally on verbal communication, Micah would be in trouble. Micah only relies on speaking as a last resort, making my life hard until I learned how he wanted to communicate. I felt like a total fool when I finally worked it out. That's where the April Fool's connection comes in. I often feel like a total fool when working with my son. He has this look on his face when I ask a totally obvious question (mostly asking just to make sure he understands and is paying attention) that makes me feel like an idiot. Micah and I communicate pretty well now, but it took a lot of learning on both ends.

I think that most of Micah's communication comes from his drawing. He fills notebook after notebook, any sketchbook that I let him have, and any scrap of paper with drawings. It was through his drawings that I found out that he has a relationship with Christ. It was through his drawings that I found out that he actually listens to his teachers even though they think he is totally ignoring them. It was through his drawings that I found out who he considers to be his "friends" and how he defines the word. His pictures are a huge part of him.

Micah also knows music. He can hear when someone is just a little off, and it really bugs him when someone is really off. There was a bit of hum at our church during the whole service on Sunday and it really bugged him even though most people didn't even hear it. He can also copy a tune, and it's always correct. I haven't figured out how to use this more than singing him songs that help him through his routine, but I'm sure that one day we will figure out how to let him shine through music (or more likely he will figure out how to do it himself).

Computer stuff comes easily to Micah as well. He has hakked into my computer since he was 3, and I generally have to physically keep him from it if I don't want him to "fix" things. He memorizes websites that he sees and tries to go to them whenever he is online. It makes me freak out and watch closely, but so far it hasn't gotten him into a lot of trouble.

Micah's favorite store is Stater Brothers. He likes grocery shopping a lot...as long as he can pick out some fresh fruit. He's not really a health nut, but he does like healthy food. His favorite place to eat out used to be Souplantation, but he's broadening his horizons a bit lately.

Micah is very much into maps. He loves to make plans for trips on whatever map that he has at the time. His trip to Michigan is totally planned out, he just needs his share of the money to go. I think he has just about every minute of a weekend vacation planned there. This can be totally annoying or totally mind-blowing, depending on how you look at it. When he gets this topic on his brain, he doesn't let it go, and that's really annoying sometimes. On the other hand, just the fact that he knows where he wants to fly into in Michigan, what hotel he wants to stay at, where a place is that will take him on an airplane tour of the Great Lakes, where he can rent a boat to go sailing...and just about everything else there is to know about the trip, it's really mind-blowing.

So that's my kid who happens to have autism. There. You are aware. Still, if you've met one person with autism, you've really just met one person with autism. It affects people in different ways, and judging someone based upon the word autism is just as bad as judging them by their skin color or where they live. Individuality makes a difference to Micah, and he busts out of any box that people try to put him in. He's really an awesome kid and a total blessing. If you judge him by a label, you really have been fooled.

School and Being Off Track

2010-03-24T11:50:00.000-07:00

I just realized how long it's been since I blogged. Probably because the kids are off track, and then before that there was all the IEP stuff going on.

Let me start with the IEP. Micah was having trouble at school. It started with the bus. His route had changed a in January, and he was basically on the bus for an hour to an hour and a half every day. That made him mad. It would irritate anyone, really. It takes me about 20 minutes to get home when I am able to pick up Micah from school, so I'm not expecting a really short time, but an hour and a half is just ridiculous.

Of course, that really was just the start of it. He started to hate going to school. He would wake up every morning and tantrum immediately, saying that he was sick and didn't want to go to school. It got to the point where Tony or I had to physically put him inside the classroom in order to get him in there. Once there, it depended on the day whether or not he would actually calm down and do work.

He really isn't able to get individual attention in this class. There is a teacher, an aide, and 18 students, all of which have a language disorder of some kind. Micah doesn't like being ignored.

All of this led up to calling an IEP. I was actually in the process of getting kids ready to drop off the paperwork to request the meeting when a phone call came from Micah's teacher telling me that a meeting was being set up. Funny timing. Anyway, the meeting was set up for the last day of school before going off track. I got my paperwork together with assessments from Micah's at home behavior therapist and all of the notes that I had taken about Micah's bus behavior. I was all hyped up and ready to ask for a bunch of assessments done so that the process could be started to get him a one to one aid. This is something that I have asked for in almost every IEP since he started in preschool. I was always told that he just wasn't that low functioning to get his own aid. HA!

My son isn't low functioning in a lot of ways. Seriously. He's remarkably intelligent, he speaks (mostly in rote sentences, but he gets his point across most of the time), and he does very well with an established routine. Still, when Micah is irritated, all of that is just gone. The problem lately is that Micah starts his day irritated, and it's hard to get him out of that attitude when he is there. Where the one to one aid comes in is that Micah will be getting all the attention that he wants, and there won't be a huge distraction from the rest of the class to make that happen. It also means that there will be someone there to make sure that he doesn't get out of doing work when he is behaving inappropriately.

So the Friday that was the last day of school, I went in expecting a bit of a fight. Why? The school district doesn't like to part with money for this kind of thing. To my surprise, when I went to the meeting, I wasn't the one to bring up the idea of a one on one aid. As a matter of fact, they already had the assessments done and just needed me to sign off on the idea.

I was blown away.

I took a look at Micah's assessments and saw that they were missing the point of Micah's tantrums, though. They thought he was just trying to get out of work. It's probably true that Micah liked getting out of work, but I really think that was a secondary purpose. The way that they described his behavior was screaming "give me attention!" The final straw, I guess, was when Micah decided to run out of the classroom and ended up spending the entire day with the principal just to keep him calm...he was doing work for her in her office, though. Does that sound like someone who just wanted to get out of work to you?

Anyway, I signed off on the aide, had them add the purpose of the tantrums (which made the teacher say, "that makes so much more sense now!" even though the others didn't necessarily agree with me) to the assessment, and then we went to the other problem.

When they called the IEP, I suggested that since one of Micah's major problems was the bus, someone from transportation who could do something about it, as well as the bus driver, who had to deal with it, should be at the meeting. I didn't think it would actually happen, but it was worth it so that things could actually be arranged immediately instead of someone saying that they would call and ask about it. When I got to the meeting and saw that they were actually there, it was a good sign right away. I got it arranged that his bus route home would be changed that afternoon. Instead of an hour to an hour and a half, it only took 35 minutes for Micah to get home. Now was that so hard?

Ok, so you see my excitement when I talk about how great of an IEP I had? I got what I asked for, and almost without asking for it.

So that was my awesome IEP, then the kids went off track. They are excited because neither Micah nor Becca were assigned any homework for while they were off. Life without the big responsibilities that usually rule their days was something for them to look forward to. The thing is, for me, that means that I have to come up with things to keep them from getting bored. Besides the obligatory appointments that come when they are off track (it's so much easier to deal with dentists and doctors during this time), there really isn't much to do. Of course, a lot of their friends are not off track right now, so they can't just do play dates and that sort of thing, so I have to come up with stuff on our own. No biggie, but Micah just doesn't do well with down time. They do deserve a break, however. There is a balance to be achieved.

I am apparently failing. The kids are bored. It's not good. They are driving me nuts. I have to figure out more stuff to do.

Chores - The Final Chapter

2010-02-25T15:21:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to wrap up the whole irritating lady incident.

The finale was very amusing, though probably shouldn't have been. The lady who has been bugging me and other parents with her rude comments (I'm not the only one, she's been judgmental towards many parents, apparently) finally stepped on the wrong person's toes.

I was picking up Becca, and I was really early this time. I parked and waited for a while. About 20 minutes before the bell was going to ring to release the students, I saw her. I was pretty much avoiding her, and I have been for a while, so I was just praying that she didn't approach me again.

She apparently had someone else on her mind today.

She approached another mom. She said something to that mom to the affect of "you need to bathe your kid more often." That mom did not appreciate her at all. Irritating woman decided not to stop the insults in front of everyone, so the other mom slapped her.

I laughed. I feel bad about it now, but really, the lady deserved it. It ended up being a big deal and the sheriff was called and everything. Still, everything was taken care of rather efficiently because by the time the kids were released, the women were both out of the picture. That was nice. Other moms around me were pleased to see the whole scene, too, and so there is definitely some history with this woman and several other moms. I do my best to avoid other parents for the most part, so I really didn't know the extent of this woman's problem.

I feel bad for her. I don't know if there is something wrong with her or what. Hopefully whatever her problems are, they will be addressed now that it's gotten too far.

Messy girls

2010-02-25T10:50:00.000-08:00

My kids come by it honestly. They are generally a big mess, but then so is their mother. They were playing outside on the front porch where I can see them while I was taking care of a few chores. I looked away for a little bit while I was putting laundry away. I came back as my mom came home from work and asked the girls in her "scary voice" "what are you doing?"

I come back and laugh. I guess I have more laundry to do. Not to mention hosing off some muddy little girls. Before they leave the mud, though, I have to take a few pictures.One day I will embarrass my offspring with pictures like this. It' going to be awesome. Notice Becca in the background of these pictures just laughing at them. It's entirely possible that she put them up to this, but I couldn't prove it.

Sleepovers

2010-02-19T08:21:00.000-08:00

Today Becca is going to spend the weekend with her Grammy. Ali and Zoe are terribly jealous. It didn't help that Becca accidentally woke up Ali this morning with questions about when and how Grammy will get her, and then rubbed it in a bit. If Becca hadn't worked to hard to earn this weekend, I would have taken it away from her for the attitude this morning.

I consoled Ali with telling her that Daddy was going to take her somewhere special. Becca then went to her Daddy and asked him where he was taking the twins tomorrow, and he told her that he would be taking them to Micah's first baseball practice. Tony had no idea what was going on, so he really can't be blamed. Becca came back gloating that Ali and Zoe were just going to Micah's practice, and that they went there all the time.

Grr.

At this point Ali is bawling and asking why Grammy doesn't want her over. I'm trying to explain that it's just for the weekend and that Grammy loves her and wants her to come over when it's her turn.

Then Zoe starts crying. Same thing. At this point I'm just irritated at Becca. She sees this and starts to apologize to the girls. She doesn't know what to say to make them feel better, though.

Finally they are distracted by breakfast. I'm busy thinking of how I'm going to make this weekend special for the other kids. The problem is that I'm busy most of Saturday, and the kids are going to be with Tony. I'm pretty sure Tony can do something cool with them, though. Saturday evening for dinner, Tony and I will be out and the Micah and the twins will be with my mom, and I'm sure my mom will make that fun if Tony doesn't come up with something.

Micah's totally fine because he gets to start baseball this weekend. That is going to make his weekend great. Anything more than that for him is just icing. He used to care when Becca got to go to Grammy and Grandpa's house, but he really doesn't anymore. He just likes it when there are fewer people in the house so it is quieter.

Tony came in the door from dropping off Micah and Becca at school and started playing with the girls. He has them happy again, and I know that they will have fun with him tomorrow.

Chores Part 2

2010-02-09T15:06:00.000-08:00

Today I wish I was late to pick up my daughter from school instead of early.

I found out who was feeding my kid all the crap about not having to do chores. She actually had the nerve to come up to me and address the matter. She said that children weren't to be raised for "little maids" and that I was being cruel to my daughter. She ended the whole tirade by telling me that she was going to call CPS. I laughed. I shouldn't have, but I did. Honestly, if CPS took that call, I'm pretty sure that they wouldn't even bother to come out to check it out. I would welcome them anyway. They wouldn't be doing anything that isn't done on a yearly basis for my son, anyhow. They come in, see that nothing is wrong with my home, see the chore charts or whatever method I am using to motivate my kids at the time and see that they are wasting their time.

I don't know if I should complain to the school, or if it would do any good anyway. This lady is a parent volunteer and pretty active at the school. Still, she's just a volunteer.

I drove away from the lady without really answering her, which probably made her mad, but nothing that would come out of my mouth at that moment would have been good.

I went home to set my daughter down with her snack and her homework...then I would have followed it by chores except I got a phone call. Completely unrelated, but it required me packing up the girls into the car and going to Micah's school.

Micah hates the bus. I really don't blame him. His school gets out at basically the same time as Becca's (I think there's a 3 minute difference). I have to pick up Becca, so he rides the bus. The problem is that Micah sits and waits for the bus to get there for 15 minutes, then has an hour long ride home. No one should have to be tortured that long. He isn't allowed to bring a game system to play on the drive. He just has to sit there. He finally decided that enough was enough today and refused to get on the bus.

I am already not in the best of moods, and this is not making it better. I get to the school, which is a 15 minute drive for me, and there I find him in the office. I get the teacher to come to the office to talk to me...not that I'm incredibly easy to talk to at this point, but I do need to know the specifics so that I can address them. I try to be as nice as possible, and the teacher is really apologetic. She knows that Micah is probably going to be worse from now on because she called me...she still had to. Now my son knows that all he has to do to not get on the bus is to frustrate his teacher. Ok, at least she gets it, but it really isn't doing her any good if she doesn't act on it.

So, that was my day. Aren't I just the best parent ever? It's been confirmed over and over today. Oh, yeah, and because of this whole mess, the twins missed their nap, so they are going to have a super evening. I think I'm going to go tenderize some steak...

Chores

2010-02-04T15:41:00.000-08:00

I am not a bad parent because my kids do chores.

Someone is feeding my kid this garbage at school. Becca seems to think that she is just too young to have any responsibility all of a sudden. Well, it isn't really all of a sudden, she just is more adamant about it suddenly.

"None of my friends have to do chores"
"I'm only 6, too young to have to clean anything"
"I don't get anything for working! Can't I at least get an allowance?"

Complain, complain, complain...

No, I don't give her an allowance, but I don't make her pay for her tennis lessons (or whatever whim she comes up with that I have to pay for). I don't give her the option of having money because I know what she wants to spend it on. The ice cream guy, cheap toys that she won't play with more than once, etc. One day we will probably work on that, but for now, we work in a points system. It gives me a bit more freedom with the money, and controls Becca's spending. It works for us.

As for her being too young, that's absolutely ridiculous. She knows it, too. The twins have chores. All of my kids have had some sort of chore (even if it was just picking up after themselves) since they have been able to get around. Yes, that means crawling. I taught my kids to put their own toys away when they were done with them as soon as they could get a toy to the container. It didn't seem to stick as well with the twins, but we're still working on it. They are 3...and really good at being 3.

Why such high expectations? I refuse to be one of those moms who have to do everything for their kids. I do a lot. Really. Part of that doing for them is to teach them how to be responsible human beings. That means, yes, Micah can do his own laundry. Becca is learning how to do her own, too. She pretty much has it, I just observe her doing it.

Whoever is feeding my kid the line that she shouldn't have to clean up after herself needs to stop. It's messing up Becca's attitude and getting her in trouble. My expectations may be different for my kid's than you have for yours, but that doesn't make either one of us wrong. It just makes us different. If I expected my kid to do all of the house work (I'd probably have a really dirty house), then that would be wrong. She is only 6...still, if I expect her to clean up after herself, empty the dishwasher, and do her own laundry (well, some of it. I'm not completely unreasonable) before she goes out and plays, then what's the big deal? I'm teaching my child to be responsible. Poor girl. Maybe she will grow up and be a responsible adult. Who knows what might happen if there are more of those around?

Ok, I'll leave my soap box now.

Michigan

2010-01-23T19:29:00.000-08:00

Micah has a new obsession. He is constantly asking to go get on a plane and fly to Michigan to see the Great Lakes.

My response? I had no idea what to say at first. His plan was quite well developed. He told me that he needed to get to the airport, then get on a plane where he would travel to Colorado, where he would have a layover (who told him about layovers?). From there he would get on another plane, which would take him to Lansing.

So...if your 8 year old came to you with this plan, what would you say? No? I tried that. He's not easily swayed to drop it when an obsession begins. I didn't know how far this obsession would go, though.

My next thought was to let him find out how much it would cost. We went to the computer and started looking up airplane tickets. He's pretty good with money, and knows when something is out of reach. Well, that put him off for that day. There were no tickets available to fly to Michigan that day, and there were none by way of Denver that we could find at all. He didn't drop the idea of a layover, he just said that he needed to fly to Denver and stay overnight.

Since this was starting to be quite the learning experience, I started to reward Micah with computer time to google Michigan so he could plan what he wanted to do there. So far, he has found an airplane tour of the Great Lakes, and he's trying to find where the best place to take a sailboat out, and how much that would cost.

The bill is really adding up. Still, he knows that if he is actually going to go, he has to earn the money himself. That is something that I am making really clear.

So we have started a Michigan fund. Micah hasn't come up with a total amount yet, so we are waiting for it. He has said that he doesn't want to take the girls, though. That means that he will probably only have to take one parent, which will keep his total down. He hasn't decided if he wants Mom or Dad.

Am I feeding the obsession? Sure. I figure it will take him a while to raise the money, though. I'm hoping that he eventually drops it, but if he doesn't, it's not going to break my heart to go to Michigan...or send Tony.

So, what next? What else can we learn about Michigan that would help Micah plan his trip? I don't want to run out of ideas. Maybe weather stuff? He's working on activities that he wants to do. He should probably start looking at when he wants to go, right?

I'm still working it out. We probably will have charts everywhere before the end of this. I am open to ideas if you have any.

This isn't Micah's first obsession, but it is the first that he has come up with on his own. He studies maps all the time, and this just came up. I'm not sure why, except when we were talking about states looking at his map of the US, he attached himself to the Great Lakes. I have tried to get him hooked on space, and that worked for a while...about a year. We did a little while being obsessed with Sea World and the animals there. Maps are the newest, and while I introduced him to them, the obsession was his own. He still likes to talk about states and capitols, and he knows the maps to Disneyland and Sea World like the back of his hand. Michigan is just an extension of that map obsession.

I really like the obsessions. It's probably one of my favorite parts of Micah's autism. It's a great tool for motivation, and when you use them right, they are great learning tools. It can get annoying, especially when Micah wants to go to the airport right now. Still, it's fun to see Micah get so excited about learning something. Overall, no matter how annoying it can be, it's still good for him in the end.

The Autism Card

2010-01-20T13:18:00.001-08:00

I had an incident that got me thinking on Monday. It's really taken me this long to process the whole thing in my brain so that I don't come out and slam (albeit anonymously) this lady on my blog. I think I'm ok now, though.

Monday was a lot of fun. I just want to start there. The situation didn't ruin my day, it just sent me thinking...and I really want to get over it. One of my friends (who is a supermom) invited us to come with her and her kids to this place that is basically an indoor bouncy playground. They have inflatable bounce houses and a rock climbing wall and all kinds of fun for indoors. We ended up with 9 kids and 3 adults bouncing around this place. That seems pretty chaotic, but it really wasn't. It was a great group of kids, and there really weren't any behavior problems (except for Micah going around asking random adults for money...yeah...). Ok, there was a bit of drama between a mom who didn't know what she was talking about and few of the older kids in our group, but it really wasn't a big deal.

My problem ended up being when a little boy repeatedly kicked Ali in the face...on purpose. Not happening. I remove my daughter and the parent comes to me and says "sorry, my son suffers from mild autism and can't control himself."

I couldn't believe it. Someone actually tried to play the autism card on me. She gave the child no reprimand, he went on his way, and she figured that it would totally be fine with me if her kid kicked mine because he has autism.

HA!

I think the funniest part about the whole thing is how calm I am. I'm not screaming at her that if her child can't control himself and randomly kicks kids half his size that he shouldn't be taken out in public. I'm not screaming at her that since her child doesn't naturally understand social situations and what is appropriate, that makes it her job to teach him. I'm not doing this at all. I'm just calm. I'm listening.

I'm so not myself.

She goes on about how hard her life is because her son puts her into bad situations and how rough it was to go through the diagnosis.

Then Micah comes to see me. I introduce my son, who also has autism. I begin to talk about him, and this lady's jaw drops. She just has no idea.

I'm not complaining along with her...though I could. I'm not giving advice about how I dealt with similar situations...though I could. I just talk about Micah. I love my son. I don't ever regret him. This lady seemed to have so many regrets. I feel so sorry for her. She just didn't know what she was missing.

Now, I don't want to judge. She probably loves her son tremendously. It could have been a bad day for her. We all have them. It's just way too easy to slip into a pity party if you let yourself. She ended up leaving the place soon after our talk (which was nice because I found myself watching her kid more than mine...safety stuff, ya know?) and she seemed pretty defeated.

I'm finding myself thinking of all of the things that I could have said to her, but I didn't. I don't think I could have said anything that would have made her change her mind about parenting, so those words I really don't regret not voicing. I just wish I could have been more of an encouragement to her.

On the other hand, where is that lioness protecting her cubs? Why am I not furious? Well, Ali just shook the whole thing off, so it was hard to get too upset. The kid apparently didn't kick her too hard, or she didn't care that much. She cried for less than 30 seconds. It's hard for me to get worked up over that, especially since I was in shock over the mother's excuse for her kid.

Hopefully now that I have blogged about it, I can get over the whole thing. I'm tired of it being stuck in my head.

If you like to talk to office supplies...if a Broadway song can make you smile...

2010-01-14T11:29:00.000-08:00

This is from the new VeggieTales video that is coming out in February. I thought it was fun.

Questionable Parenting?

2010-01-09T23:47:00.000-08:00

There comes a point in every mother's life where she questions her parenting skills. I'm guessing that for most women, the breaking point (if it hasn't come before) is the age of 3.

Ok, that's really just my theory, but if you're a mom, and you've never questioned your abilities, just humor me for a minute.

My questioning has come this week.

I know, I'm Supermommie! There is no way that I can't handle this stuff...right?

If I dared snap pictures of my twin's newest haircuts, you would understand my questioning. Why? Why do my children repeatedly do the things that I know that I have explained (with much discipline) are wrong?

My girls just don't want hair.

They don't want toys, either.

This week they have been grounded from many of their toys because they refused to clean up after themselves. I told them that in order for them to get their toys back, they would have to keep their room clean constantly. Of course, this should be easy with no (or few) toys to clean up, right? NO! Laundry beside the hamper! Digging through drawers to find the outfit that they want then leaving the discarded clothes everywhere! What do I do next? Ground them from clothes? I discovered that my lovely Becca just needed to be threatened with my choosing her clothes for her every day. Still, Ali and Zoe just don't care. They just throw a fit (though that gets them no where) and decide to make Mommy miserable. I'm ready to take away all their dresses (though Ali really doesn't care).

So...do I give my kids way too much freedom? I know, my 3-year-olds pick out their own clothes, but it gives them independence in something small and controllable. I don't over-structure their days in the mornings because we get a lot of structure when their brother comes home from school. I want to let them have some time to just be themselves, though the good teaching times come during that part of the day. For example, we are learning to tell time (on a digital clock) right now because they wanted to know when they could have a snack. They know their numbers, I was busy, so I gave them a time to look for on the clock. Great fun, made the waiting easier, and they learned a little bit in the process. Teaching for us is in the small stuff.

Still, I give them a lot of choices. I wonder if I give them too many. I mean, whenever they have a choice in something, it is limited (i.e. pb&J or grilled cheese?), but they really do get choices all day long...until their brother gets home, anyway....then we have the schedule.

I wonder if all those choices are making them think that they are in charge a little too much. I also wonder if I could even change my habits if I tried. My daughters are smart, opinionated, and slightly manipulative. The last part doesn't always work on me, but still, it's there. I just feel that if they give me a reasonable argument (without whining, I hate whining) that there is no real reason why I can't compromise a little. Not on the important stuff like brushing your teeth and eating right, but then I don't think that they would be able to give me a reasonable argument to get out of that stuff.

Generally my problems don't come about when I am talking to them anyway...it's when they sneak around behind my back and paint with peanut butter or find scissors that Micah had in his art kit that I didn't know he had and play beauty salon...not for the first time....

Why didn't I know about the scissors? It's not the first time this has happened! At some point I'm just being the questionable parent!

I could keep complaining, or I could just start a count down for when the twins finally get out of the evil age of 3....

Referee

2010-01-08T13:39:00.001-08:00

Today, I feel like a referee. The twins are getting on each other's nerves. Ali has a mean right hook. Zoe would be an awesome wrestler. She can take down her sister in less than 10 seconds.

Ok, I shouldn't be bragging about their fighting skills, but really, there's not much else to be positive about. I had to put them on opposite sides of the table for breakfast this morning so that they couldn't reach each other. This resulted in a spoon fight (they have already done the food fight thing in the past...they got into way too much trouble for a repeat performance).

After breakfast they started to play with the few toys that they are allowed to touch right now (long story, but they have this aversion to cleaning up after themselves) and Ali threw a punch over Zoe not playing "the prince" in a man voice. Time out number one for Ali.

While Ali is in time out, Zoe decided that it would be fun to taunt her sister...time out one for Zoe.

When time outs are over, the girls apologized to each other and then went on playing together. Not even 5 minutes pass, and I hear the girls in Micah's room. "Hold still, Zoe!" Zoe is crying. I walk in to see Ali stepping on her sister to get on top of their brother's bookshelf, so they can try to reach his "cool toys."

Time out number 2...and I begin to feel like they are going to live in their time-out chairs today.

They move on from their time out and begin to play again. I go to the bathroom...big mistake. By the time I am out, they have gone to the kitchen, gotten down the peanut butter, and had a snack...just the peanut butter.

I'm sick of time out, scrubbers for everyone! My kitchen can use it! The girls clean up their pb paintings (body art and wall decor), and then I set them free again. Another mistake. Looking back, I probably should have noted at this point that they need a lot of extra attention, and this day isn't going to get better if I don't give it to them...I'm just not bright enough to get it at this point.

I'm not feeling especially well, so I decide it's just time to turn on the TV. They look sucked in, so I go to clean up the clean up in the kitchen (you know 3-year-olds are not incredibly thorough). Ten minutes later (I got distracted by dishes), I come in to a wrestling match where Zoe has her sister pinned, and Ali is laying on a little rubber bouncy ball that she found in the couch, screaming "it's mine! I found it!"

Time out number 3. Bouncy ball leaves the building. This time they get out of time out and are sent to play in separate rooms.

Please note that at this point it's only 9am. I am wiped out for the day. I'm just done. I got out of bed less than 2 hours earlier, but I just want to go back.

Next comes Zoe trying out her Stewie impression (thanks Judith). I don't watch the show, and neither do the kids, but my friend posted this on facebook and told me that it was kid-friendly. They have done this to me before, but now it's twice as funny to them.

I'm totally not in the mood. This makes for great fun for the girls. I have to laugh, though.

Finally they are playing together without fighting. This is good! It doesn't last, though. I have come to the conclusion that everything in their lives must come in twos. If one has something, the other has to have the exact same thing, otherwise arguments are unavoidable. This is extended not just to toys, but also to cups, plates, silverware, etc. No matter what, they will both have a preference, and it will be the same one...unless I want it to be the same, then it is totally different. Probably just to irritate me. This is the next argument. Someone wants juice. One wants apple, the other wants cranberry. Well, this isn't happening. After Zoe's tongue injury, she isn't allowed to have juice at all. Milk or water. NOOOO! I can't exactly let Ali have juice right in front of Zoe, so I have a double tantrum on my hands. I walk away. Facebook, here I come. I tell them that I will be happy to get them something to drink when they ask nicely for milk or water. I ignore the rest. The trouble is, they are tantruming together. They are both upset, so they turn on each other. After a bit of wrestling, I get the girls to separate corners, and the tantrums continue. I think they were competing for who can scream the longest.

Lunch time rolls around and the tantrums finally stop. Yeah, they went on for quite a while. The arguments begin again about lunch, but this is settled rather quickly compared to the rest of my day.

They spend most of lunch time telling me that they don't like what I have given them...this is after they have given me specifics every step of lunch (peanut butter and jelly on tortilla...the red jelly, not the orange one...spread out all over, not just the middle...NO! Peanut butter and honey on tortilla!- fortunately, I know to tell them that they don't have to agree).

Is it nap time yet? NO! I still have to go pick up Becca from school. Hooray! She's usually in a good mood on Fridays because her teacher doesn't give weekend homework. When we get home, I will put the twins down for a nap and enjoy the quiet.

Don't burst my bubble! It will probably be quiet at least until Micah comes home...well, maybe....

2010...and what happened to my 2009 goals?

2010-01-03T23:08:00.000-08:00

What? I still have a blog?

I know, it's been since November!

Anyhoo!

I wanted to go over my goals that I set for 2009 and see what actually happened.

1. More organized.
Well, probably. I went through my shed and threw away a bunch of junk. I also have one day a week where my house is totally clean...something to do with a therapist showing up, but still, it's a start. I didn't have the party at the end of the year that I wanted to to celebrate my new organizational skills.

2.Physically healthier.
Nope. Actually much worse. Not entirely my fault, though. MS sucks.

3.Better cook
Do the tamales that I learned to make for Christmas count? My FIL (who is incredibly difficult to please with food...he doesn't like anything else that I make) actually liked them and said that I am now in charge of the tamales from now on. That's probably because he's worried that I would make anything else....

4. Better photographer.
Nope, but I have been distracted. Losing sight (not to mention a bout of paralysis) for a while does that to you.

5. Be more edifying to others.
I don't know how measurable that is. I hope that God has worked on me in this area, but I don't think that I actually could tell if I achieved that goal or not. Still, any progress toward that goal is not my doing, it's His.

Well, that's 2009. Who says new year's resolutions don't work?

Here are my 2010 goals:

1. Listen better. To God, my husband, my kids, my friends...everyone. I just want to be a better listener and lose the endless talking thing. Not incredibly measurable, but it's a goal none the less.

2. Even more organized. I'm going to get there! I am determined! If that means that I add a day of organization per year, in 6 years, I'll be set!

3. Feel better. This means figuring out how my body reacts to things better, and keeping myself out of MS relapse. Not that that is completely controllable, but there are things that I can do to lower my chances. It also means trying to figure out how to get back to a exercise routine within my limitations...I have to know those limits better, too....

Ok, that's it. Just 3 goals this year. Think I can do it?

Black Friday

2009-11-25T15:08:00.000-08:00

Black Friday is coming, and while you may not recognize it as a holiday in your house, I certainly do. Every year I get my thrills from looking for the best price on certain items, searching the internet for leaks about the sales, and begin with great anticipation to make my list. Yup, it's my favorite holiday.

Black Friday is the only day of the year that I willingly acknowledge the time before the sun rises as part of the day. It's the only day of the year that I will willingly begin my day well before my children do. I'm not a morning person...at all...not even a little bit. Black Friday is not a normal day, though.

This year I have my plan, but no partner. My mother usually will go with me, but this year she is visiting my brothers for Thanksgiving. I'm kinda dreading going alone. Normally this is where I would make my husband get up and help me, but I can't do that because he has to watch the kids. Still, I will brave the lines and the people alone because there is no way I am going to miss it.

I have missed my favorite shopping day in the past. Sickness, visiting relatives, and various other things have kept me from hitting the streets, but this year there really isn't anything in my way except for lack of partner. This basically ruined my holiday season...well, not totally, but I did regret it.

This year there isn't really a whole lot on my list (mostly because I don't have a whole lot of money), but that doesn't stop me. I have literally gone in order to get a couple of $10 items before. I really just like the thrill of it all.

I know. I'm odd.

Every year I get out in whatever line that I happen to decided on and I think about what an awesome ministry opportunity it would be to go and serve these people coffee or something. One of these days I am actually going to do it. I'm pretty sure I would be blessed more than I would from getting a bargain. Each year I think about it and I think that I'll do it next year.

Another tradition that we have is that once I have finished my shopping craze (which doesn't usually last until noon like the sales do), my husband and I go out and people-watch. It's just funny to see all the people throwing elbows over some toy that their kid put on their wish list. To think that someone would actually care about something so insignificant is really amusing. I'm not the elbow throwing type. I just want to get in and get my cheap stuff, but if I don't get what I want, I'm not going to be upset about it. It's just stuff.

I remember going as a kid to the Black Friday events. It wasn't nearly as big of a deal back then as it is now. One didn't have to be up at 2 am back then. People weren't nearly as dangerous, either. I would squeeze my little way through the isles and get the coveted items. It was fun.

I would never take my kids with me today...ok, I did take the twins with me when they were very small babies, but I had one strapped to me and my mom had the other. They didn't take bottles, and I knew that I would need to feed them while in line, so they came. We went to Best Buy that year and avoided the fist fight that erupted and anyone who looked like they might throw an elbow. I still got the stuff that I wanted that year...well, not all of it, but I didn't really care about the stuff as much as the safety of my babies. Still, I wouldn't take my kid to squeeze through the mob. It just isn't safe anymore.

I really developed my love for shopping on Black Friday events when I was younger. It was really the only girly thing that I could claim. My mom and I would shop and I would sniff out the best deals. It's still something that we do together. One day Becca will join in. She does love to shop, but for totally different reasons. She's pink and frilly and all about trying things on like she's playing dress up. I'm all about finding the bargain. She's learning that stuff, too. She just had to get some math skills first. I'm sure when she is a bit older I will introduce her to Black Friday. When she has more self-defense skills mastered.

I can't wait. Thanksgiving will be a day filled with food, family, and football. I don't mind the food, I love my family, and I am learning to endure football. I will be thankful...then the next day I will shop!

Night Time

2009-11-08T22:49:00.000-08:00

As I sit here at 11-ish on a Sunday evening I begin to reflect on my evenings and nights lately.

I am really busy.

Sundays are busy all day. We have church activities pretty much all day from morning to bedtime.

Mondays I had a really great Bible study that I decided recently (today, though I have been praying over it for over a week) to quit because of how busy I am.

Every other Tuesday evening (or pretty close, it's the 1st and 3rd Tuesdays...so almost every other Tuesday) I have what is called "Girlfriend Time" at our church. It's like a Bible study, but we chat a lot and do girly stuff. I know, not really my thing usually, but it hasn't been horrible, and I'm trying to be supportive and get to know some other women in the church. Since that isn't every week, I really hadn't been counting it (plus it's only been going on for like a month or so). Still, it really is on the schedule, so I should count it.

Wednesday evenings I spend with our church youth group. I have the awesome opportunity to help lead young people to Christ, and/or a deeper relationship with Him and every Wednesday is a blessing. I really don't want to quit that, and honestly, I really feel God has called me there to stay. He keeps calling me back every time I try to quit, so I'm probably there for the long haul.

Thursdays, our family has joined a "Life Group". It's basically another Bible study. This time for the whole family...well all the family goes, but the kids go and hang out while Tony and I have a Bible study for us. I don't know that I have gotten a whole lot out of it besides getting to know some new people a lot better. The kids enjoy going and hanging out. Still, I don't know how long Tony will last going. He's not really the social type and I think it's starting to get to him.

Fridays and Saturdays Tony and I (if we aren't completely exhausted from the rest of the week) have our dates or shove in other activities that may want to do. We have family time before the kids go to bed and then Tony and I might go out if my mom is home to watch the sleeping kiddos.

Do I seem kinda busy? I really like being busy, so that really isn't a problem. I am also only talking about the evenings, the rest of the time I am doing all the SAHM stuff. I felt kinda bad about leaving the Monday night thing until I really looked at my schedule. My kids aren't really suffering for the schedule, because really they only do Thursdays and most Wednesdays...though they really don't have to do the Wednesdays. Tony is home with the kids the rest of the time, and he is with them if they go to church on Wednesdays. What I didn't like was spending most of my evenings away from my husband. I actually like the guy. I want to be around him, not just tag him "it" as I run out the door and he comes in. I really do see Tony, though. He and I are usually up late and hang out together after whatever activity we have is over. We are both usually pretty tired, but we spend our time together anyway.

Still, I'm praying over lightening the load. So far God really hasn't given me a clear picture of what He would have me drop. I'm waiting and listening. I dropped my Bible study on Mondays because He led me to do so, so that may be enough. I look around and notice some stuff at home that could probably be done during my busy times, but then, I'm home all day, I could probably do it then, too. I don't know. I was hoping for a peace when I made the decision to drop Monday nights. It hasn't come. I'm waiting and listening. Maybe something else will have to drop.

Halloween Pictures

2009-11-04T10:54:00.000-08:00

I just had a little fun with the Halloween pictures. Enjoy!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Imaginary Friends

2009-11-02T16:07:00.000-08:00

Should I find it irritating or encouraging that my daughters' new imaginary friends are called "My Pink Mommy" and "My Purple Mommy"?

It's been really kinda annoying. "I was talking to my pink mommy!" is often heard around here. Yesterday Ali got in trouble and I heard "but my pink mommy said I could have some!"

Grr.

Becca's imaginary friend was a teenager named Crispy. She lived in Mexico. She rode on her skate board to visit Becca. She still shows up every once in a while, but not very often now that Becca has so many school friends.

I thought I would get around the imaginary friend thing with the twins because there are two of them to play together. Little did I know that they still needed scapegoats. They don't tend to blame each other for things, though they will blame Becca or Micah for anything. The pink and purple mommies are the way to get around it, I guess. They know that they have to obey me, but they figure that if they make up another parental figure that will let them do things, they are ok.

They are just too smart for their own good.

Birthdays...

2009-10-14T12:17:00.001-07:00

I was looking back on my blog for this year and noting that I didn't blog about any of the birthdays that have happened recently. I'm probably not going to get around to it...but I was pondering birthdays, so this blog is about that.

I had to have this pointed out to me when the twins were born, but there is an interesting order in my kiddos birthdays.
July 23
August 24
September 25

Cool, huh? Makes it easier to remember them all. I just have to remember the months. For a person like me, who rarely remembers numbers, that is really important. Of course, another birthday that fits the pattern is my mother-in-law's. Her birthday is October 26th. My sister-in-law (my brother's wife) has the same birthday. Awesome that I don't have to think hard to remember that. Certain birthdays stick in my head because of their dates.

Another is August 30. I know several people with that birthday. It's kind of weird how many people I know with that birthday. Facebook alerts me to this upcoming birthday, and the list is really long.

I guess birthdays were a bigger thing around me this year because of the Disneyland thing. Something free at Disneyland is amazing, so a lot of people have taken advantage of that. I did. I got a season pass on my birthday (for the discount) then took each of my kids and my husband for their birthdays. It was nice. I'm the only one of us with a season pass, and I probably won't use it much anymore, but it was cool to be able to take everyone. Too bad the twins aren't free anymore, or we would be going more often just the three of us.

Most years I don't really care about my own birthday. This year was a little different with turning 29...for the first time. Not that I plan on staying 29, but too many people use that age over and over. I don't get it. There really isn't anything spectacular about being 29. Maybe it has something to do with not being in the 30's though. Is there something wrong with being 30? I guess I'll know when I get there.

Tony turned 35 last week. He took the day off so that we could go to Disneyland, then his sister decided to scare us and try to have her kid that day. We spent half the day deciding whether or not we were actually going to go or if we were going to stay and see the baby if he came. We ended up going. It was good, but crowded. Odd that it was crowded on a Wednesday, but apparently, according to my friend that works there, it's been crowded constantly lately. Still, being just Tony and I, we weren't rushed to get to everything, and it was kind of relaxing to stand in a line with just him and I.

The next day my nephew was born. Tony's sister had a beautiful baby boy...kinda early. He had a few complications, being just under-baked, but he went home from the hospital today, finally. I'm feeling like the lame aunt that doesn't have any pictures, but I'll be taking some later. I always hate taking pictures in a hospital. They never turn out right. The lighting is yucky, and I always feel like I'm disturbing someone. I decided to wait until I go see him when he's at home. It will probably be a week or two, unless my SIL calls me because she needs something or she's bored. His parents have a few birthday (real birthday pictures), so mine really aren't necessary anyway. I'm going to make him some pirate pictures. I'm trying to figure out a good way to get a tattoo on him for a picture. Maybe I'll just add it after the picture. I don't want to mess up his skin. The kid has too many issues without my messing with him for a picture.

Supermommie vs. Lady Laundry

2009-10-02T14:02:00.000-07:00

While doing some laundry today, my mind began to wander...

If I really was a superhero, who would be my nemesis? Lady Laundry!

I have no ideas for stories yet, however, I am open to ideas...

Laundry is the never-ending cycle that everyone battles eventually, unless you are a nudist or something...or maybe if you only have one set of clothes...still, even if you only had one set of clothes, you would have to wash at some point.... Anyway, my point is that Lady Laundry would have to be especially gross in order to be a real super villain.

One can battle this enemy by sending it to the cleaners, hiring someone else to do it, or many other wimpy ways, but Supermoms just buckle down and do it. Ok, some days I'm not really a Supermom. This got me thinking of a side kick...a maid or something...I haven't really decided. Still, this way I could remain a super hero, and still get the assist.

Today I was doing an especially vile load (accident in bed...not the worst, but it isn't pretty). I also had the regular volume of clothes that is big, just simply because 7 people live in this house. It made me think...if I actually made a comic book with Lady Laundry as the villain, it would have to be scratch-and-sniff just to get the full effect. Plus Lady Laundry needs to be huge.

Do you have a picture in your head yet? I don't blame you if you don't. I'm kind of a geek, so this line of thinking really isn't abnormal for me. It makes my life just a bit more fun and takes the mundane task of laundry and makes it something completely different. Something more fun. Something geeky. Something a bit more me.

Cloudy with a Chance of...something...

2009-09-19T13:57:00.000-07:00

Last night, Tony and I went to the movies and saw Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.

Not that I should have to say this because it is a movie, and a cartoon, but if you apply any sort of reality to this, you might find yourself tossing your cookies...and I don't mean the ones that fall from the sky. Just do yourself a favor and don't think of reality at all. If you are like me, you tend to think things like "what would it be like if this really happened..." Don't do it!

I was afraid to see this movie with Tony because it's based off of his favorite children's book ever. Whenever a movie is based on someone's "favorite" anything, I'm leery of going with them to see it. Expectations are really high, and it's difficult to watch it just for fun without analyzing it. Leaving the theater, Tony just kept saying "loosely based on the book." My argument was that the book just doesn't have the exensive plot that is necessary for a decent movie, and it certainly didn't have the characters for an hour and a half of entertainment. The ideas of the book were all there, and really, the storyline in the movie is basically an extension of the storyline in the book. It wasn't like it conflicted with the book.

I thoroughly enjoyed the movie...except when the mom in me showed it's ugly head and I thought of how horribly unsanitary the whole thing was. I think the worst part for me was the man-eating baked chickens. I almost had to leave the theater. It was just gross.

The one question I had was why the rat-birds? Every other invention that the main character, Flint Lockwood, came up with had some purpose. Why rat-birds? What purpose would those ugly things have? Spread disease faster?

The movie was enjoyable, however, and I will likely be taking my kids to the drive-in to see it tonight. Well, probably just Micah and Becca. It was clean and entertaining, and I'm sure that the kids will love it.

Awesome IEP Meeting

2009-09-16T11:58:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had an IEP for Micah, and I'd have to describe that experience as absolutely awesome. The team met for the first time since starting at the new school for Micah's annual review. There were so many things that went right. I had never met the speech therapist before this meeting, and he was great. He recognized Micah's intelligence and ran with it. I didn't feel like I had to convince him that Micah really could accomplish more. Micah obviously had shown him what he could do very well, and the goals that he came up with for Micah were very similar to my own goals for Micah. In the past, I have always had to tell them how much more my son is really capable of, but that really wasn't the way things were this time.

Micah's teacher is new, and this was her first IEP meeting. She did very well. My favorite thing about this teacher is that she is like a sponge for information. She asked me so many questions about Micah, recognizing that I really did know Micah better than anyone else there. She also recognized Micah's intelligence and her goals were very appropriate.

The principal was awesome. She told me of different incentive programs that they do for the whole school and asked many questions about how Micah could be involved with these things. She was very open to making sure that Micah was mainstreamed as much as possible. She told me that Micah has been her buddy and they have bonded in the many times that she visited his class.

Mainstreaming for math is going really well. His regular ed teacher really enjoys having Micah in his class and Micah is keeping up with the rest of the class. The aid from Micah's classroom actually goes with him to the class, so there are no problems like last year where we had to come up with someone new to go with him to assist if necessary. He actually goes with a couple of other kids from his class, and his teacher doesn't have any problems with giving up her aid for that short time (probably because Micah's class is so much smaller than his class last year).

I'm really excited about this year in Micah's class. He is doing so well, and I have a good enough relationship with the staff involved so I think that we really can tackle any problems that come up. I had been worried because the beginning of the year was so rough. He had to change teachers from the one that we had prepared him for. He changed rooms, the school didn't have their act together when it came to the services that were on the IEP. It was really rough. Now they are really on the ball.

Waffles Part 3

2009-08-20T15:22:00.000-07:00

Trader Joe's is back on the happy list, even without banana waffles.

First of all, my wonderful husband took the plain waffles that I had bought at TJ's (still gf/cf) and offered them to Micah this morning for breakfast calling them "new waffles." Now, if I had been the one who offered him something calling it "new," Micah would have thrown a fit. Daddy is another story. Daddy can offer him anything and it will automatically be cool. I think one of Daddy's jobs that will forever be his is breakfast.

Tony also sent an email to Trader Joe's, not a complaint, Tony just doesn't do that, but a letter telling them of our concern. This is his letter:

Comments: I was recently informed of the decision to discontinue the
banana flavored gluten/casein free waffles. This item has been a staple
in our family for the last 5 years when my son started his gluten
free/casein free diet to help control his autism. They really have been
a life saver.
When I heard they were discontinued, a point of stability in my son's
life was discontinued with it. It would not be uncommon for our outside
freezer to be filled with boxes of waffles.
I know as a corporate decision, probably based off of sales, it would be
near impossible to bring them back, so I would like to thank your
company for being there with some of the best products for my son for
the last 5 years and look forward to shopping with you in the future.
If the banana waffles return, there will be much rejoicing in my house
and if they do not, we will still be happy with the products you do sell
(like the regular gf/cf waffles.) Thank you for your time, Tony
Escarzaga

Their response was very quick. Tony sent them that message at about 4:30pm on Wednesday, and he received a response at 10:30 this morning. Very awesome. This was their response:

Hi Antonio,

We are sorry to hear that we have discontinued a favorite product of
yours.

At this time the Trader Joe's Banana Waffles have been discontinued due
to slow sales in all our stores. We will forward your comments and
request to bring this product back to our Buying Department and that
will be taken into future consideration.

Many thanks,

Nicki K.
Customer Relations
Trader Joe's

Obviously they get a number of the "bring it back!" letters, and this was probably pretty automated, but still I am happy about the quick response.

I probably wouldn't have been nearly as happy if Tony hadn't convinced Micah to eat the "new waffles" though.

I'm still not happy with the change in price that I have to pay for Micah's breakfast (the new waffles are a bit more pricey), but it's not the huge amount that I would have to pay for them elsewhere. Still, it is probably time for Micah to be a bit more open with his eating habits anyway. Once we are over this hurdle, I think we will work on his obsession with taquitos...

Waffles Part 2

2009-08-19T15:39:00.000-07:00

This morning went well...

Micah didn't mind the substitute of gf/cf pancakes this morning for breakfast. Not too much of a surprise since he has had them before when I have run out of waffles and not had time to go to TJ's. He didn't get through day, however, without asking for waffles.

I know, it sounds odd, but he saw that I went to TJ's (he saw the bags) and he assumed that I would have waffles. Since he didn't have any this morning, he asked for another fave: peanut butter and jelly sandwich on banana waffles.

The meltdown began. It doesn't look like we will be getting any homework done this afternoon, and he had a minimum day at school today. So far he has screamed and thrown things and cried. I offered (before the fit really got into gear) the plain waffles and he said that they were Becca's. He wanted the banana smell. He knows that if they smell like bananas, they are on his diet (I haven't ever bought any regular banana flavored waffles). He doesn't like having things off his diet. I'm pretty sure he doesn't feel good when he accidentally gets gluten or casien. I had him read the box, but it didn't work.

I thought I had him calmed down after giving him a snack of a different kind, but then I decided to ask him to do his homework...apparently he wasn't all the way calmed down.

Now he is laying on the floor screaming. His life is disrupted. I blame Trader Joe's.

Waffles

2009-08-18T13:12:00.000-07:00

For those of you who don't know, my son, Micah is on a special diet, and has been on this diet since he was 3. He is gluten-free and casien-free (huh?). This brings a calm to my family that just wouldn't exist without this diet. Micah used to have meltdowns (a tantrum x 10) that would last for 8 hours. Those 8 hours would be screaming fits of rage that he just wasn't able to control. Enter GF/CF diet: tantrums now last about an hour, and they only happen about once a week (unless something happens out of routine or just basically not Micah's way).

So you see why I do it. It's difficult, expensive, and time consuming. It's also totally worth it.

Still, that's not really why I am writing today.

Today I went grocery shopping. Trader Joe's is on my list of stores that I go to (because I can't find everything in one store). I love Trader Joe's. It's a store where I would shop for most of my grocery needs if I could afford it. The main reason why I go there once a month, though, is for the waffles.

Micah has always wanted waffles for breakfast. He used to eat Eggo's for breakfast every day before the diet. It was routine. So when I put him on the diet, I looked for a replacement waffle that would be a reasonable price. I looked and looked. I just couldn't justify paying 5 bucks for each box of waffles, so I tried making them myself. I discovered that I hate making waffles.

When I discovered Trader Joe's Banana Waffles, I was overjoyed. Two dollars a box. I could do that. I took them home and Micah loved them. Score! I could survive! I would be able to keep him on this diet and not lose my mind!

Today, however, something horrible happened. My life shifted. No more Banana Waffles? NOOOOO!

I was told that the product was discontinued. I wanted to cry. If I had known this last month I would have gone and bought every box in every store in my area. Now I dread tomorrow morning, when my son awakens to a day without his waffles.

The Birthday Party Plans

2009-08-12T13:28:00.000-07:00

Since my kids are all born around the same time, I have decided that I am only going to plan one big party a year and they will take turns. That's the plan so far, anyway...we'll see what happens later.

This year belongs to Ali and Zoe. They are having a princess party and inviting friends.

So if you know me at all, you know that I am not the princess type. This causes some issues for my daughters when things like this come up. I just don't come up with pink and frilly ideas. I do, however, have pink and frilly friends! My friend Judith has been a lifesaver in this planning process!

While my mom and I were shopping one day we found these little favors for a princess party, and the girls just adored them. They have little tiaras and rings and wands...everything sparkly for all your princess needs.

I was so stressed out about all of the things that I normally do that I just couldn't do. I always make my kids' birthday cakes, but I really can't bake right now. I tried to get the right location, but the price wasn't right...and then it wasn't even available. I have had to move the date and time for this thing 4 times. I'm set now. I don't know anything that would make it move now.

My mom is a cake genius, and when she said that she would make the cake, I was so relieved. I don't know what her idea is yet, but I don't care, it will look great, I'm sure.

I had a not so original idea for food. I have always served hamburgers and hot dogs for parties, but for various reasons, that isn't going to be an option. I'm thinking of doing some little sandwiches and cutting them out with cookie cutters in a tiara shape (or another princessey shape, depending on what I find when I go to Michael's or wherever I end up shopping for the rest of this stuff) I saw something similar on the cover of a magazine one time, so I thought I would give it a try. That and fruit and maybe some chips and lemonade and we are set.

So what do you do with a bunch of 3ish year-olds for a party? Well, they want a pinata (how do you make that little mark over the n? I have no idea...whatever), so that is one thing for them to do. They will also be at a park where there is a playground, but Judith came up with another idea. She and our young friend, Bailey are going to paint faces and make all the girls into princesses for the party. Ribbons in hair, sparkles, and all kinds of fun. Other than that, I will have some princess coloring pages for just in case.

That's about it. I figure that will be plenty. The kids all play together and have fun.

The other thing that I am worried about is that they want to invite some boys...I'm not worried for the reason that I would be worried if they were turning 13 instead of 3, I just don't think that a boy would like this party...

The party is on a Sunday afternoon, and the Saturday before we are going to Disneyland. We have to go before the girls turn 3 one more time as a family because of the other kid's tickets, and that is the only day that we have available. The thing is, that will be a really busy weekend for me. I'm getting tired just thinking about it. Saturday Disneyland, Sunday morning church, that is the day of the ministry fair right after church, and then the party. I'm thanking God for my mom, because she will be a huge lifesaver for me. She will be baking the cake on Saturday, and then making sure things are ready while Tony and I are at the ministry fair. Oh, I am so thankful for her.

There you have it. Those are my plans. Are they going to survive? We shall see!

Summer Pictures

2009-08-03T12:49:00.000-07:00

Micah and Becca go back to school tomorrow. I thought I would take the time to post some summer pictures. They like to look through them with me.

Make a Smilebox slideshow

So much fun. I am going to school with Micah tomorrow since I haven't met his teacher and it is a brand new school. I'm praying that all goes well and he enjoys his teacher and new school. Becca will be fine. Yesterday we went to the school to look at the teacher and room assignments that they had posted. She doesn't know the teacher, but she knows a couple of kids in the class with her. Her good friend from last year isn't in class with her, though. Unfortunately, her friend got into the class with the teacher Becca really wanted...I hope that doesn't cause drama on the playground...I'm sure I'll hear about it all.

The Song That is Stuck in My Head

2009-07-20T13:05:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my dear hubby for all the work that he has done lately to stick all kinds of dumb songs in my head.

Ok, there were some good ones, too.

Tony has been working on a project that he has wanted to do for years: writing parodies. Here is one that he made into a video:

He has been quite inspired lately and has stayed up late at night singing to the computer.

The song that has really stuck in my head lately, however, is not by my husband. It is the new Weird Al song, Skipper Dan. It's really, really sad. Not that I cried or anything, but I could have if I was that kind of person. I wonder as I plan for our trip to Disneyland this Thursday for Becca's birthday how much this song will come up in my husband's inevitable conversations with the people who work there. He likes to talk to the people who work the rides. He tends to remember their names, too. It really bothers me when later on in a conversation with me he will refer to a person who drove the tram or something by their first name. I have no idea who he is talking about...ever. Not that I don't see these people as people or anything, but striking up a conversation with them just never occurred to me until I started going places like that with him.

To be perfectly honest, I would probably never have listened to Weird Al if it weren't for Tony. There are a lot of things that I have experienced in my life that I wouldn't have without Tony, though. Some important and life changing, some annoying and I could definitely do without. Tony makes my life complete. I have to have the odd to balance me...hahaha! I'm not balanced! I was odd well before Tony...well maybe not before him, I did meet him when I was like 5. I don't think I was all that odd of a 5 year old... Maybe it is Tony's fault! :-)

Anyway, I just thought I'd share my pain...hope this stuff doesn't get stuck in your head.

Behavior Therapy

2009-07-16T16:15:00.000-07:00

Over the last couple of weeks Micah and I have been subjected to a behavior therapy assessment that turned out to be a complete waste of time.

The therapist who came out said that my son was too well behaved for their one-on-one program, and though she wasn't sure I needed it, offered to recommend to the regional center (who is paying for this program) their parent training class. She actually asked me at one point why I was asking for this service.

Maybe I should have left Micah off his meds for a couple of days instead of just the mornings of the assessment sessions. I just couldn't deal with him beating on his sisters and me while he is out of school. The poor kid would spend his life in time-out. It just seems mean to me.

I guess I'm just beating the wrong bush. Micah's behavior problems are not really prevalent at home. I did everything I could to provoke him at home, and it worked, all the way up until the therapist showed up. Micah turned to smiles and laughter. We tried making him lose at board games (something that usually drives him nuts). I tried letting him play Wii for a couple of minutes and then taking it away as the therapist came. He transitioned quite well.

I'm convinced that he knew what was going on and was trying to thwart me.

The problem is that the assessment will be sent to the regional center who will no longer believe that my son is in need of...anything.

Not that I would try to get a service that my son doesn't need. Right after the therapist left Micah would go into a full blown tantrum throwing chairs and hitting anyone who came near him, screaming the entire time.

Yeah, it wasn't pretty. It happened twice.

Normally he is quite good at home. His behaviors tend to come out at school. I did do a whole lot of provoking, though. His timing was perfect. He accomplished what he wanted. Nothing in his world had to change. The fact that he did it without meds tells me that he has the ability to control himself without them, or at least with less in his system. He just doesn't want things to change.

That just makes me want to change things up a bit.

I don't know what I'm going to add to my expectations yet, but it's coming. He's just to comfortable where he is at. Not that I want my son to be uncomfortable, but he isn't functioning "normally" yet, so being stagnant is not acceptable.

Well, when school begins again on August 4th he will be at a new school with a new teacher (the one he had before was the teacher he had since kindergarten). Church is about to change around the same time. I don't think I'm going to change anything yet, just in case there is trouble adjusting there. Still, once that becomes the new routine, I'll be looking for something to change at home.

Summer Begins

2009-07-09T11:49:00.000-07:00

Does it seem to you that every other mom of school aged children who blogs take a break right after their kids get out and then when a few weeks go by feel bad about it, or is it just the blogs that I read? Well, maybe I just don't relate to those women who are so put together that they can still schedule their kid's new found time and continue to stay connected with people in a more than tweet-like way.

Anyhoo. My kids are out of school. I have pictures. They are here somewhere. Becca graduated from Kindergarten. I took pictures, I know I did. I made it a point to go to this graduation thing. Somewhere there are photos...I will find them...I just don't see them on this computer...that's not good. Maybe they were just uploaded to Snapfish and just didn't get loaded on the computer...I don't know.

I also have more pictures. I went camping with the kids without Tony last week. Ok, some people are making fun of me because they don't think I was really camping. I didn't say I was "roughing it," I said I was camping. I slept in a sleeping bag...on a futon in an air conditioned cabin. We were in the mountains...at a resort. We went fishing...in a man-made lake that they stocked with catfish. Not that I actually fished, and not that my kids caught anything. I wasn't going to give them a hook. Those things are dangerous. Not to mention the fact that I don't want to have to clean the things and they aren't old enough to do it themselves.

We went swimming at this resort-thing. Well, it was actually a camping-resort thing that our friends who we camped with own into. It was fun. I hadn't gone swimming since I have been out of the hospital, so it was a different experience. I had a little trouble figuring out balance again when I got out of the water, but the freedom while I was there was fantastic.

Throughout that week I really focused on trying to walk on my own. It worked. I still use a cane, and I keep the wheelchair in the car just in case, but I really haven't had to use it much except when I went to the mall with my brother, his family and all my kids on Monday after the 4th.

Speaking of the 4th, for that weekend, we all (the kids and I, and Tony for part of the time) went out to my in-laws new house in Hemet. Yeah, my kids were already tired from camping all week, and we went to their house. I guess it wasn't the greatest of ideas, but the kids weren't too bad. We went to their church out there for their celebration, but Micah and the twins were not up to staying around for the fireworks, and neither was I. We went back and watched Empire Strikes Back. It has fireworks at the end, right? Ok, the kids didn't really care about the movie, and they were asleep for the fireworks part, but that was fine with me. Becca had stayed with her Grammy for the fireworks display that they watched from Grammy's church. She was tired, but enjoyed herself.

Today is the second part of an assessment for Micah to take part in a behavior therapy program. I have to irritate my son this afternoon in front of a therapist so that she thinks that he has issues still, and so that she sees how I deal with it. I don't know if it's worth it, but I'm going to do it anyway. He's been pretty irritable since school let out anyway. I can't wait for August 4th. Does that make me a bad mom?

I think that's all caught up. One of these days I'll find pictures, take the ones that are still on the camera off, and make a slide show. Maybe after the kids go back to school...maybe a summer in review or something. In the meantime, I'm enjoying my kids.

If You Give a Deacon a Hospital Visit...

2009-06-23T15:48:00.000-07:00

Have you ever read that book, "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" by Laura Numeroff ? It's a really good book. You should read it. Well, I am having a mouse/cookie experience.

While I was in the hospital, many of the deacons at our church came and visited me. It was nice. They came and prayed.

When it was time to come home from the hospital, I was asked if there was anything that I needed. Yep. I needed a ramp to get into my home. Not that I asked. I thought that my mom and husband were handling it. They tried. They got something that worked for right then, and we were ok.

A couple of the deacons found out about our make-shift ramp, and decided to make me a new one. Hooray!

They decided to paint it. The paint that they had, they had a whole lot of this grey color. They offered it to me so that I could paint my house.

The next day I found out that they decided to paint it for me.

These guys started to prep, and ended up deciding that they needed to fix the door to my converted garage. They decided to build me a new one.

They began to scrape around to prep for the paint, and they found out that a couple of my windows weren't put in properly. They fixed them.

The list just keeps going and going.

One of these days they will decide that they are done. Until then, these men will be here helping my family out.

Aren't I blessed? I have to figure out how to thank them. I just don't see anything that I could do that seems adequate. I pray that God blesses each of these men in a special way.

Hug and Cheese

2009-06-22T21:44:00.000-07:00

Instructions:

1. Point camera at my twins
2. Say the words "hug and cheese!"
3. Take picture

This is the result:

I know, it's kind of silly to train your kids to do these things, but it's really cute and rather entertaining on a kind of yucky day.

The day was long. I declared it everyone's day off (meaning me and the kids, Tony still went to work) and I tried to make it the least stressful day possible. I didn't want anyone doing chores, and I really wanted to relax.

It was a good thing I planned this in advance because the kids all woke up with fevers. The fever went away with tylenol, but still, it was obvious that there was sickness in the house of some sort.

Now, my kids aren't really good at being sick. Well, maybe they are, they are just not really good at showing that they are sick. Yeah, that's it. If they are sick, they are still likely to run around and play. They just pause every once in a while for the symptom (cough, sneeze, throw up, etc.). Today was no different. They coughed every once in a while, but unless you had felt their fevers earlier in the day, you would never have known that they had more than just allergies.

So when I decided to take a few pictures, I ignored the fact that they might have a little bit of booger residue still left on their faces (because I'm a lousy mom...or at least a lousy nose wiper...especially when there are 4 noses to keep up with).

Anyway, the point is: aren't my girls cute? Ignore the boogers.

Will This Day End Already!

2009-06-15T19:32:00.000-07:00

The morning started out crummy. First of all, I had to wake up, which is never a good thing.

I know, I'm so tortured!

The twins were in one of those "I'm going to turn 3" moods, and they disagreed with me on basically anything that I was willing to do for them. "Please lay down so I can change you into panties" became "You may not run around the house naked!" within a minute.

They are normally so obedient...but they are turning 3. The evil age.

They didn't want me to pick out their clothes. This is totally fine with me, even if their clothes don't really go together. I don't care what they wear as long as they aren't naked. The problem was that they wanted to wear the same shirt. Neither of them ended up getting it because they ended up ripping it during the struggle over who gets it.

I'm confined to my wheelchair due to the fact that I had over worked myself the previous day, and I couldn't trust myself to stand. I sit there watching the struggle, and found myself blessed by the shirt ripping so that they had a built-in consequence for their actions. When they took their time-outs for fighting, I searched for clothes that they would not argue about.

I decided it was a good day for couch potato lessons.

The girls glued themselves to the TV, while I kept having to answer the phone. All important phone calls, too. I couldn't just hang up. Well, my grandmother didn't call for anything important, but I couldn't just hang up on her.

My plans to put dinner in the crock-pot never made it that far. A phone call from Social Security about my son, a phone call from his Regional Center worker, a call from Becca's coach about the plans for the end of the season party, and the never-ending phone call from my grandmother took care of all my time this morning.

I started a PB&J lunch when I heard the girls begin to argue over which character they were on the show (they like to act it out as they watch) and the TV ended up having to be turned off. Bummer. They came into the kitchen and asked to help. Fine. I let the girls spread their own peanut butter. Then came the argument over the jelly. There is no way that they will agree on a jelly, and the one that I took out just wasn't what they wanted (who's idea was it to have multiple flavors of jelly open? I never do that! Leftovers from when I was out of commission).

Finally, I get the girls fed, and they play in their room for a little while. Two time-outs (each) later, it is time to pick up Micah and Becca from school.

I got to the school ok, but I was running late, so I didn't take my wheelchair with me. I just had my cane. Apparently, there was an assembly that everyone knew about but me, and there is not a parking spot anywhere near the school.

Great.

I got the girls out of the car in my parking spot a block away, and I start walking with them. An argument over who holds my hand starts, and I end up getting knocked over. Pain. Lots of pain.

I stand (barely) just in time to meet Micah's bus (he gets dropped off by Becca's school) and look up to see that he got a sticker at school. Hooray! Micah was good at school! Think it will continue through the afternoon?

I'm still in pain, but I make it over to the point where I am supposed to pick up Becca and sit down on the grass. Praying that there are no ants around (I'm allergic), I sit while Micah and the twins run wild on the grass outside Becca's school. I see the scowls from the parents around me when my kids scream and run around, but I don't care. I'm not a bad parent, I'm a parent who is in extreme pain.

At this point, I have already called Tony and asked him to come get me. I know it's only a few blocks, but I just couldn't drive home. He ended up taking the rest of the afternoon off. We got home and he wheeled me inside and ordered me to bed. I'm thankful.

I got up at dinner time when my mom started asking what I wanted to eat. Well, I wanted the stuffed bell peppers that I was going to put into the crock pot this morning. Still, it was already dinner time. We decided to try this stuff that we had a sample of at Costco. It was good, and Micah-safe, and fast.

Tony had to take Becca to her T-ball closing ceremonies tonight, so I'm up for the evening. Micah was playing Wii after dinner, and he got stuck and wanted help. I just don't do that. He is better than I am at most video games, and when I mess up, I end up with a tantrum on my hands. I told him that he had to figure it out or wait for Daddy. He didn't like that. I ended up with the tantrum anyway.

After a rather long screaming fit, I turn to find the twins getting into toothpaste and decorating the bathroom. After a scrubbing, I send them to bed. I just don't care that there is still 30 more minutes to bedtime. The day is over.

Meds are given, time for bed. After so much screaming in my day, a little more while they are tucked in isn't a big deal.

Psalm 127

1.Unless the LORD builds the house,
its builders labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city,
the watchmen stand guard in vain.

² In vain you rise early
and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat—
for he grants sleep to those he loves.

³ Sons are a heritage from the LORD,
children a reward from him.

⁴ Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are sons born in one's youth.

⁵ Blessed is the man
whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
when they contend with their enemies in the gate.

An Intelligent Discussion with a 2.5-year-old (warning poo-poo involved)

2009-06-09T15:20:00.000-07:00

My day was interrupted by a pile of poo.

I was feeling the call of nature, which is something that I dread at the moment because of the shape of my bathroom. My bathroom is really long and skinny, and my wheelchair doesn't fit. I have to walk. My walker is awkward in there, too, so I tend to just grab on to whatever is handy (counter top, shower handles). Anyway, I made it to the toilet only to slip and fall on a pile of poo.

There was poo on the floor next to the toilet.

Ew!

I get up, only slightly bruised, and finish my business in the bathroom and then begin to inquire about the source of the poo.

Ali claims it without hesitation. This surprises me, because at this point I am irritated, and they obviously pick up on these things.

Apparently she went to the bathroom without letting me know where she was going, but couldn't get on the toilet by herself, so she decided that the next best thing was beside the toilet.

This is where my discussion took an interesting turn.

Me: Why did you poo-poo on the floor?

Ali: I not in trouble Mommy, I went to the bathroom, I wiped front to back!

(Yep, toilet paper was in the toilet!)

Me: Why didn't you poo-poo on the toilet?

Ali: No step!

(My daughters are a bit vertically challenged, so they require a step to get on the toilet.)

Me: Why didn't you call me?

Ali: I had to go now!

(I know, I'm slow right now. It's just that my house was obviously not made for the wheelchair, so it's difficult to get around.)

Zoe: Mommy, you have owies?

Me: Yep, Mommy slipped on the poo-poo.

Ali: Want me kiss it?

Me: No, baby, Mommy just needs a shower.

Ali: Ok, I clean my poo-poo first.

Ali then grabs the baby wipes and begins to wipe the floor with them. I would stop her and get a mop, but she was taking responsibility for the poo without any prompting. She successfully argued her way out of being in any trouble because she had a logical (in two-year-old land, where she can do everything by herself) explanation for her actions, and then took it upon herself to clean up the mess that she had created. My only problem was that she had left the poo on the ground in the first place instead of cleaning it up right away, thus saving me from my fall.

So there you have it. My daughters are growing up. What a weird conversation.

After Rehab

2009-06-02T13:47:00.000-07:00

I came home last Wednesday in a wheelchair. Today I stood to make the twin's lunch and it wiped me out. I'm not exactly strong at the moment.

Well, I thought I'd share the lesson that I learned the hard way. Apparently I'm too hard-headed to learn things the easy way, so God has to get my attention the hard way. I have to paralyzed to learn that I can't be in control. I thought I'd learned that lesson. Remember? I totally blogged about it before. I still didn't get it.

Really. I don't have to be in control. I get it. Can I walk now?

It's not the easiest thing to parent from a wheelchair. Especially the two active almost-3-year-olds. I have to rely on others quite a bit. It's bugging me. I thought I got this lesson at the beginning, when I had to ask for help right after they were born. I started to get things pretty much under control, and I got my feet knocked out from under me.

Ok. I get it. Can I walk now?

The peace that I received while I was away from home and things had to happen without my help didn't come from me. I'm a control freak. You probably already know that about me if you read this blog much.

My house had to be re-arranged without my help or opinion. Things had to happen without me doing them. It wasn't fun for anyone in my family. Still, it didn't bother me that much. That's totally not me.

Yesterday, I had to get a babysitter so I could be at home by myself so I could figure out how to function at home. I really hadn't been home much since I had been out of the rehab, so I still didn't know how to do some stuff yet, and I knew I wouldn't figure it out with 4 kids surrounding me all day. So off to their cousin's house they went.

And then I woke up at the crack of dawn with a migraine. I hadn't had one in a while. It was horrible. By the time I was over it, my mom had come home from work at about 5pm. She asked me how much I got done, and I told her about the migraine. She mentioned that I didn't get a babysitter so that I could have a headache. I didn't exactly get the migraine on purpose. I didn't say that, though. Still, my mom walked away looking at me as though she read my mind. She does read minds, you know...well, my face probably said it all.

I got up and moved around that evening, thinking about how I was going to plan my day so that I could care for my kids. I'm supposed to be napping right now. That's the plan, anyway. Micah and Becca will be dropped off here by their grandpa in about 30 minutes.

So far, I'm figuring it out. How do I do this therapy stuff with 4 kids? How do I keep my kids out of stuff but still keep it within my reach? Child safety locks just don't work any more.

Still, there have been no major disasters, and while I have had to keep a closer watch today than normal, I'm not in total control, but everything is fine.

I get it already. Can I walk now?

By the way, I can walk. For about 75 feet at a time, using a walker (yes, it does make me feel really old), I can walk. I'm hoping to eventually graduate to a cane. I want to get a really cool looking cane. I don't really want to go out and use the walker. It's probably a vanity thing, but I just don't like it. I'd rather be in a wheelchair. It seems less...I don't know...old.

Here's a couple of passages of scripture that have meant a lot to me lately:

"To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

"Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." James 5:13-16

Somewhere in the middle of those two passages is me. It seems at first glance that the two might contradict each other. If the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective, why wasn't Paul healed of his thorn in the flesh? God's answer is perfect.

"My grace is sufficient for you"

A Message from Rehab

2009-05-25T22:04:00.000-07:00

Yay! I can type. I’m taking a lot longer than usual, but I have use of my fingers, so I am grateful. No, I don’t have internet access, but I plan on having Tony help me out by posting this. If you can read this, Tony came through for me. Thanks, Hubby.

Well, since I haven’t blogged about any of this, I’ll start the story from the beginning. I was working down at the church trying to get things ready for the garage sale, when I started to feel awful. Now, Becca had the flu, so that was probably the reason why I felt bad. I figured I just needed to finish some things up, and then get out of there and go home. Tony was there, and he was feeling kinda yucky too. Well, I sat down to rest, knowing that while I wanted to finish, getting tired wasn’t an option for me. That’s when it began.

Tingles in my legs, then my left leg went numb from the thigh down. I tried to move it. It didn’t work. I’m freaking out. By this time my mom had arrived from work to help out, and she was just outside the room. I waited a few minutes to see if it was just temporary, then called to my mom. My mom ended up taking me to the hospital.

Yes, Tony was there. I feel the need to explain that Tony doesn’t actually have to be by my side in a hospital visit. It doesn’t bother me. What does bother me is when people look down on him for not being there for me. He is being there for me. He’s taking care of my kids, and generally getting things done that need to be done. Sitting with me in the emergency room would just drive us both nuts. It’s how our relationship works. Tony doesn’t like hospitals, and while he would be there for me if I asked him to, I’m just not putting either of us through that. He can’t sit still. It’s not in his nature, and I just don’t want to change him. Especially when my mom is there and so very good at sitting through this kind of stuff.

But I digress.

So I went into the urgent care (because it’s cheaper than an emergency room visit, so we start there…not that it helped), and while I was waiting, my hands begin to tingle. Not cool. Before long they are not working, either.

I’m still sitting in the waiting room for a little bit when I begin to feel more nauseous. The flu is still there. I show it to the waiting room which begins to clear around me, if you know what I mean.

Finally they bring me in, take one look at me and my history and send me to the emergency room because they don’t admit patients from the urgent care. I move to a gurney and begin my really long night waiting for a room apparently, because they figure they already know what it is. MS. The doctors barely look at me. I’m to be scheduled for an MRI when I get a room.

Well, finally, at 7am the next morning, I got a room. It’s Saturday, though, and MRI’s aren’t done on weekends. The doctor comes in and protests this, and after a long day of waiting in an uncomfortable bed, not being able to move, at about 5pm, I get the MRI.

The next morning, I the doctor came to see me. No new lesions. What does that mean? It’s not necessarily related to the MS. It could be a totally new brain disease.

Oh, good. This MS thing was starting to feel routine. Can you feel the dripping sarcasm?

By the end of the day, which was Sunday, by the way, in case you missed all the time passing, I’m told that they don’t really know what is causing my paralysis. Was I doing anything different? Am I under any extra stress?

Basically, every doctor, except my own, thinks that this was stress induced. Umm…no. I totally reject that explanation. This is nowhere near the most stressful time of my life. Besides, even if it was, wouldn’t that go away with all of the support and relaxation that I got sitting around in the hospital? Not that I was actually stressed in the first place. Anyone who has seen me stressed out knows that I deal with that differently. I’m not stressed.

By Monday, the doctors were ready to release me with a walker (though I couldn’t even hold onto the thing yet), or send me to rehab to learn to deal with my paralysis. I know it sounds dumb, but at that point, I was torn. I wanted to go home. I really needed to gain control again. Mostly I was just tired of being told to stay in bed. Bedpans are not my friend.

After much prayer and a great deal of council, Tony and I decided that I would stay for rehab.

Tuesday morning, therapy began. Six in the morning, I was awakened to get myself ready for the day. A wheelchair became my freedom, all the way to the breakfast table.

Rehab isn’t bad. I’m learning to get around my problems, and at the same time work on getting strength and mobility back. It’s not easy, but I really didn’t want that. If I wanted easy, I would have gone home.

I think the hardest part of being here is the breaks. When I have nothing to do, I feel trapped. This has made the holiday weekend really hard. Saturday, I had occupational therapy and physical therapy in the morning, Sunday I had physical therapy for about 30 minutes in the morning, and today, Monday, Memorial Day, the therapists are off. I’m sitting around doing nothing. For typing this out, that’s a good thing, because so far it has taken several hours. My hands tire easily. They aren’t moving fast, anyway. Still, they are moving, so that is awesome.

My leg? It still doesn’t work. I have slight movement, but not enough to walk. Well, I walk a bit with a walker…and someone holding me…with a wheelchair behind me so that I have the ability to sit when I get tired…after about 50 feet.

So I’m going home in a wheelchair on Wednesday. Not my favorite thing. Still, I’m going home and I think I’m able to care for myself when I get there...after a few adjustments to my house. That’s where my family is now. I sit here by myself because my family is fixing things so that I can go home. That makes the loneliness and the boredom worth it.

So far, there has only been one day in my stay where someone outside of my family has not come to see me. It was a long day. Tony visits me every night. The kids have been able to visit every afternoon for about an hour or so each day. My mom came by to sit and play cards one day. Playing cards is actually assigned therapy, but it was still nice. It’s hard when you don’t feel anything in your hands. I’m sitting here feeling my hands start working better and better, though. It is such a good feeling, though a bit painful.

I still don’t think I could pick up my kids. That’s a bummer, but my strength is coming back. I feel the improvement, which is a blessing.

So back to cause. The major part of the improvement came after my neurologist came by. He started me on steroids like he had with the optic neuritis. The eyesight really began to come back about the same time relatively to the start of the steroids as my improvement to my hands. Anyone else think that something is related? No, they didn’t find a lesion in the brain to suggest MS again, but as soon as they started treating it like it was MS, I began to recover. I’m over thinking this, but I’ve also thought that subconsciously, I think that it is MS so bad that my stress is going down when I get the explanation that I want (which wouldn’t actually be a good thing, but it would make sense) so I’m getting better. I don’t know. I don’t even know if that makes sense. I still don’t think it’s stress, though.

Tomorrow my mom comes in for family training. Tony has to work. The kids will be at Cassidy’s house with her daddy, well, at least the twins will be, and it depends on how long the training will take for the other two. I can’t imagine it taking all day, though. She is supposed to be here around 8 am. I would hope that she can be done before 2 pm.

Wednesday I go home. Have I said that a few times? I’m excited. I’m not so excited about not having the ability to walk out of here, but I get to go home.

My house is changing without me right now. I’m not in control, but I’m ok with that. My husband and mom have it under control. God has the whole thing under control.