I'm Happy Being Me

Yesterday, during my quiet time, I came to a decision that gave me so much peace. Let me back up, though.

Lately I have been looking for a career goal. Ever since my husband was out of work for several months, I had it in my head that I needed to find a career so that it doesn't happen again. What's funny is that the whole time that Tony was out of work, all of our needs were met, and God gave me peace that everything was going to be ok. I trusted Him the whole time, and He provided. Still, I decided to take it upon myself to fix things so that I wouldn't have to be in that position again. I had prayed about it, but in reality, I was just talking, and not really listening.

When things didn't work out how I wanted them to for nursing, I decided to pray for direction for a career. I wanted God to call me into something that would make my financial stress go away. I started listening better, but no answer came. I asked constantly what God wanted me to study for. I knew I wanted to go back to college, but I really had no idea what to study. I asked for direction in my schooling. No answer there. I enjoyed photography, but that really wasn't an answer. I just don't feel called to do that professionally.

When I got into my quiet time I asked again what I should do next. I'd like to say that I was reading something like the passage in Hebrews that talks about being content with what you have, but I wasn't. I was actually in the book of Matthew. In chapter 12, at the very end of the chapter, Jesus was told that his mother and brothers were outside and wanted to speak to Him. Jesus was speaking to His disciples, and He says in verse 50, "For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother." I just couldn't get this out of my head. I know that it really has nothing to do with what is going on in that passage, but I couldn't get it out of my head that God called me to be a mother. He didn't have a paying job in mind for me (at least no monetary pay). He wants me to take care of my family.

I look at my goals for this year (that I believe He gave me anyway), and I see taking care of my family. My goals are to be more organized, be healthier, a better cook, a better photographer, and to edify others. Each one of those benefits my family. They are mom things. Yeah, some are really more focused on me, but when I take care of myself, I am taking care of my family. I can't take care of them if they have to take care of me. Photography helps me relax, and a relaxed mom is always a good thing.

Anyway, that's my decision. At the moment, I'm just a mom. Yeah, I said just a mom. You and I know that being a mom is big enough of a job without having to add more stuff to it. I get the opportunity to trust God again with my finances, but I've been there. God did His job, and He is trustworthy enough to do it forever.