Grounded for life

Well, I'd like to know when my 5 year old turned 13. Today she told me that I was dumb.

I thought I was supposed to know everything still. At least from her point of view.

I'm not sure what to do. She and I have always had a rough relationship. This is the little girl who started arguing with me about what she should wear at 6 months old.

Not kidding.

She screamed her head off because her socks didn't match her outfit. I'm not exaggerating. When I found her socks that matched, she stopped. She rejected the yellow ones that didn't go with the purple dress. At that moment, I knew that this girl would be trouble for me.

During her toddler years she would have separation anxiety from one of my good friends (who is a girly girl, whereas I am...not at all). She kept telling me that she wanted to be a part of that family instead. She wanted to take Daddy with her, though.

I literally had to force a bond with her putting her to bed each night. I would take her to bed about a half an hour earlier than I had been, then tell her that she could rock with me for a while, or go to bed early. We would read a book or sing songs...or she would choose going to bed early.

As she grew older (I know, she's not that old yet, still) she would usually listen to Daddy, but anything that I said could be argued with, no matter how much she was disciplined for arguing.

Am I bitter? Probably. I shouldn't be, I know. At least she listens to Daddy. I'd just like to know where this whole idea that I am dumb comes from. She and I don't think alike, I know, and that makes her think that I don't know anything. I sit and do her homework with her every day, read the instructions to her when she can't figure it out, but she thinks I'm dumb.

I realized recently that she doesn't ask me all those why questions that 3, 4, and 5 year-olds tend to have. She asks them, she just doesn't ask me.

What am I doing wrong?

I'm considering a lot of options. Big changes just so that Becca will stop treating me this way. Her Daddy has spoken to her about this more than a few times. Some things have worked in the past, but they really haven't lasted long. I just don't know what to do. If this is what she is like now, I shudder to think of what she will be like at 13. This lack of respect is already getting on my nerves.