I know I say this a lot...

...but it's been a while since I last blogged, so I thought I would do a little something here.

An update about school:  I'm still going!  It's Summer classes for me, and that is rougher than I thought it would be.  I'm trying to keep the kid's schedule full like I normally have to in order to keep everyone healthy and happy, all while keeping up with my full-time school schedule.

I'm never doing that again.

I don't know how to keep everything in the air, and I'm certainly not going to have awesome grades (straight A's last semester...while the kids were in school).  I will pass the classes, but that's all I'm shooting for at this point.  I just want to make it through the summer.  If I can do that, I can do anything.

The most frustrating thing at this point in school is that I still have no idea what God wants me to do with my degree once I'm done.  I know that I will have to get some sort of job, and that once I'm done I will be trying to substitute teach for a while just so I have money coming in to cover the student loans (at the very least). 

Part of my problem is I have logistics in my head. I'm still a mom.  I still need to be there for my kids.  They are in school, so I'm free then...unless something comes up. 

Nothing compares to being a stay-at-home-mom.  I love my job.  Still, when God told me to go back to school, I figured He had a plan in mind for me for when I finish.  He does, I know, but I'm still waiting to find out what it is.  In my head I keep going over all of the things that I love, praying and trying to figure it out, but I keep hearing "wait." 

That's not the answer I was looking for.

It doesn't help that I keep being given assignments in classes that ask me what my plans are and I feel like I'm submitting the lamest response, "I don't know." 

The fact is that my most important job I will ever have is what I'm doing now.  I serve God.  I'm a great mom.  That sounds weird to me to say it, but I know that I do everything that I can for my family, and that's what a great mom does. 

My question now is, did God wanting me to go back to school have anything at all to do with me getting a job outside of the home, or did He just want me to do it for a different reason entirely?  Is there going to be another opportunity thrown in my lap that I will need a degree for later that may help my family in some way? 

I'm so full of questions.  I know that part of this is me growing enough to not have to know the answers.  I know that it's another thing that I'm just going to have to trust God about.  I'm trying not to be frustrated with not knowing what's next.  It's not really working.  I like plans.