There are many things that are going on in my life that I have absolutely no control over...and it's driving me crazy.
Of course it's driving me crazy. I'm Supermommie! I have a plan for everything. Almost none of my plans go my way completely, but I feel like I avoid many pitfalls because of planning.
There are just some things that are not avoidable.
We are moving. The timing stinks, but for reasons that are beyond my control and not really anything that I want to explain, we are moving now.
Here's the weird part about this: I don't know when, but I know it's soon. The house is up for sale and we already have an offer, it's just a mound of paperwork to get it all done properly, so the timeline isn't really certain. The other uncomfortable thing is that we don't know where we are going. Not with any real certainty.
There is a house for rent the size that we need still within the school district that I want that is within our budget. That's right A house. As in one. One single house that actually keeps me where I want to be. I don't like the look of the house, the neighborhood isn't the best (though my neighborhood now isn't awesome either), but I won't have to disrupt my kids' schooling. That's huge. I'd do many things not to have to change that.
You see, I have been working with this school district since my high schooler was in preschool. We have gone round and round, getting him set up with everything he needs and now, due to circumstances beyond my control, I am likely going to have to start over with a new school, a new district, and a new bunch of people who just don't know my kid. That scares the crap out of me.
Honestly, my girls will adapt, but my son is not that easy. He has an IEP that would make most special needs parents jealous. I have worked my butt off to make that thing the best document possible for my son, and to leave the district now is just plain stupid.
So, we have all this stuff happening with the house, which means I'm packing daily, though I'm still caring for my grandmother. I don't like packing and caring for my grandmother isn't my favorite task either, so it's kind of a rough day every day for me right now.
Then my mom's car broke down while I was driving it home from taking my girls to the rehearsal for their musical. We decided after a long examination of the vehicle that it wasn't worth salvaging. It's now sitting in front of my house waiting for us to figure out how to get rid of it...when we have time.
Our savings for the move had to be dipped into to get a down payment for another vehicle. Hooray! we have a bigger van for our trip!
We are still doing the cross country road trip. We have already paid for the reservations, bought scrip for the gas, so we are going. Good thing I already planned most of it out.
Back to moving. If we don't get that house in the right place, then there is a good chance of a long commute for those still working. That means that the good car goes to them. Boo. Oh, and it also means that I have no backup from my mom or Tony if some emergency arises. MS, Grandma, autism, or something going wrong with the girls and I have to have backup that isn't 45 minutes away. This means moving closer to my in-laws.
I love my in-laws, but they live in Hemet. Hemet is within our price range and there are many houses for rent out there that are the size and accessibility that we need. Hemet, from many different perspectives, is the logical choice.
I don't want to move to Hemet.
I don't want to change schools for my boy. The middle schools out there fail miserably on every rating that there is, so Becca is going to have a harder time. It's hot. It's the desert. I just don't wanna!
Sorry. That was whining.
I already live 20 minutes away from my church, going to a 45 minute drive just isn't going to happen, so there's another change. I absolutely abhor church shopping. It's the worst thing when you have a person in your family with special needs. Last time we did that we were literally told in some places that there was no place in their church for him. I never want to go through that again.
There are other, minor concerns, like the fact that this is only my second year with the Challenger Division at our local Little League, and if I'm not there to help run it, it may not happen. Tony started a volunteer umpire program there, too. He obviously won't be able to keep that up next year. Honestly, he is one of a small few that is actually pulling for the volunteer program, and he is making it happen. If he's not there next year, it will probably be gone.
Okay, pause for a positive note: We are currently living in a house with 3 bedrooms, a make-shift converted garage, and a trailer out back with 8 people and there's only 1 bathroom. Moving out of this house will be a good thing. We need more space. 950 sq. ft. is just not big enough for all of us. This will be a good change in that way.
I know it doesn't seem like it, but I know that God is caring for us right now. "He has a plan" is my daily chant. I'd love to have a peek at that plan, at least for the next few months of the plan, but that's obviously not going to happen.
My theme of "rest" for this year is obviously one I needed to prepare for this time of trials. I just wish I had the full year to really rest before the crazy began piling up. This week is the worst of it because the girls have their musical this weekend, the last week of Awana, and the twins a huge project for school due Monday. It's all piling up for them, too. At least for them we know when it will all end.
Crazy, huh? As soon as I have a direction, I know I will feel better. For now I am just going to pack and be there for my family. It's the only thing I really know I have to do.
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