I know I say this a lot...

...but it's been a while since I last blogged, so I thought I would do a little something here.

An update about school:  I'm still going!  It's Summer classes for me, and that is rougher than I thought it would be.  I'm trying to keep the kid's schedule full like I normally have to in order to keep everyone healthy and happy, all while keeping up with my full-time school schedule.

I'm never doing that again.

I don't know how to keep everything in the air, and I'm certainly not going to have awesome grades (straight A's last semester...while the kids were in school).  I will pass the classes, but that's all I'm shooting for at this point.  I just want to make it through the summer.  If I can do that, I can do anything.

The most frustrating thing at this point in school is that I still have no idea what God wants me to do with my degree once I'm done.  I know that I will have to get some sort of job, and that once I'm done I will be trying to substitute teach for a while just so I have money coming in to cover the student loans (at the very least). 

Part of my problem is I have logistics in my head. I'm still a mom.  I still need to be there for my kids.  They are in school, so I'm free then...unless something comes up. 

Nothing compares to being a stay-at-home-mom.  I love my job.  Still, when God told me to go back to school, I figured He had a plan in mind for me for when I finish.  He does, I know, but I'm still waiting to find out what it is.  In my head I keep going over all of the things that I love, praying and trying to figure it out, but I keep hearing "wait." 

That's not the answer I was looking for.

It doesn't help that I keep being given assignments in classes that ask me what my plans are and I feel like I'm submitting the lamest response, "I don't know." 

The fact is that my most important job I will ever have is what I'm doing now.  I serve God.  I'm a great mom.  That sounds weird to me to say it, but I know that I do everything that I can for my family, and that's what a great mom does. 

My question now is, did God wanting me to go back to school have anything at all to do with me getting a job outside of the home, or did He just want me to do it for a different reason entirely?  Is there going to be another opportunity thrown in my lap that I will need a degree for later that may help my family in some way? 

I'm so full of questions.  I know that part of this is me growing enough to not have to know the answers.  I know that it's another thing that I'm just going to have to trust God about.  I'm trying not to be frustrated with not knowing what's next.  It's not really working.  I like plans.

What Rhymes With Comet?

Last night I finished 2 finals for my classes this session, working all the way to midnight. Well, technically I turned in the last final project thing at 11:58pm.  It was due by midnight.  I was rushed like crazy and I really needed a break today to keep my nerves down.

That didn't happen.

So this morning I got up, very excited to go to the girls' school to see Becca get her Student of the Month award.  Go Becca!  I got a phone call while in the assembly for her award.  Ali was sick.  She threw up in class. 

I'm pretty sure that she's going to get a disgusting nickname after she threw up in class for the second time this year.  Puke Queen maybe?  I don't know, whatever first graders would call a kid who blows chunks everywhere.

I took her with me to the assembly and she sat there puking while I took pictures of Becca.  It's one of those horrible mom things that happens sometimes because I have 4 kids.  I figured Ali could be puking anywhere, and she was way in the back away from everyone, so I may as well finish gushing over Becca, who really needs that right now.

Ali and I went home and she wouldn't stop hurling.  She laid down and napped (something that she hasn't done since she was about a year old) while I finished some homework that was due. She only woke up to drink a bit of water, then she would immediately throw up.  My mommy senses were tingling.  I decided that she needed to got to the doctor.  I cal to get an appointment and I'm told that there is not a pediatrics appointment today anywhere within 30 miles of my house.  They transferred me to the nurse help line.  Wait...wait...wait...I'm on hold for about 20 minutes.  In the meantime, Ali decided that she needed to get up and get something.  She stood up then fell immediately, then she retched again.  The nurse on the helpline finally came on and I told her what was going on.  She told me to hold while she tried to get Ali in to see a doctor right away. 

Cue the elevator music.

Back to the nurse who tells me that there are no appointments available anywhere (I already knew that) and that I should take my daughter in to the emergency room immediately.

I'm all for taking my kid in to the emergency room when necessary.  I have a $50 copay that I will gladly pay if there is a real emergency.  I recognize that Ali's condition is serious and that she needs to see a doctor today, but she just needed an Urgent Care appointment ($15).  Still, I went.

I drove to the ER parking lot and there is no parking places to be found.  I went to the next parking lot, nothing again.  The small parking structure was full.  Next place to go was the parking structure next to Urgent Care.  Ali is in the back using her regurgitation receptacle.  I found a spot. 

There is no way that Ali is going to walk anywhere and, of course, there are no wheelchairs to be found.  I carry her.  I'm walking toward the ER when I wonder if I should go up to the Urgent Care and ask for her to be seen even though she has no appointment (not how it normally works).   I try it.  I figure the worst they can do is say no, I should go to the ER.  I get up there and my poor baby misses the bucket and upchucks on me. 

My day could have been better.

Tony takes off work and goes to get the other girls and Micah.  I forget to tell him (because I'm temporarily out of it for some reason) that Micah is getting an award and that he should go straight over to his school after picking up the girls. The bad mom moment of the day was really that one.  I did remember to tell him that he had to go straight over from picking up Micah to the dentist for Becca's appointment.  He reminds me that he has to be in Alta Loma for an umpire thing about an hour after Becca's appointment.  The way that dentist works, there was no way she was going to get finished before he had to leave. 

I need an instant clone.

Grandma to the rescue!  My mom gets off work about the time Tony needs to leave.  I arrange for her to take over and Tony to get out of there.  This would have totally worked if Tony had followed the plan, but apparently I didn't explain it clear enough for him to understand with everything else that was happening at once.  It probably wasn't his fault.

Meanwhile, Ali and I wait and wait and wait at the Urgent Care for a doctor to have time to see us.  We finally get in and she takes one look at Ali and prescribes medicine to stop the barfing.  She asks me and Ali if we prefer a shot or a suppository.  Ali has no idea what a suppository is, but she knows she hates shots so she begs for the butt medicine.  The doctor told her that it wouldn't hurt, it would just be a little jelly on her butt.  She was so mad at that doctor!  She said, "the doctor said on my butt, not in my butt!"

Yeah.  That was fun.

Ali spews again before we leave.  Off to the pharmacy for the other medication!

Tony is having fun at the dentist with Becca...and Zoe and Micah are having fun in the waiting room.  My mom gets off work and Tony tells her to go to our house where he will bring the kids.  Except Becca is still not done.  There was a problem there.

Fortunately, Ali and I just had to finish at the pharmacy, then head to the gas station before we ran out of gas, then go get Micah and Zoe, drop them off with my mom, then I was going to go back and wait for Becca.  By the time I got home with the kids, Becca was done, Tony was late, and I still had to go pick up Micah's glasses from the optometrist.  My mom waited with the girls while I took Micah to pick up his glasses.  We got back, my mom left to get back to my grandma, and I sat down for the first time that day without a stressful thing happening.

I started to remember that I hadn't eaten anything except for a bagel and chai latte I decided to get at Starbucks that morning while waiting for the assembly.  Even that had been stressful because some lady was screaming at a guy right next to my car while I was inside.  She ended up shoving him onto my car.  I so did not want to go out into that mess, but I didn't want to be late for the assembly.  They ended up leaving before I had to go, but it was still not fun to watch.

So anyway, I'm sitting at home and starting to realize that I am really hungry with good reason.  Micah has decided to make himself a pb&j and not wait for me to get up and make dinner.  Wise boy because MS is ready to kick in because I'm so tired.  Ali wants to know if she can have broth.  Becca wants to know when 2 hours is up after her dental procedure so she can eat something.  Zoe just wants food.

I start to get up and realize that I just can't.  I'm tired and I just can't make it any more without collapsing on the floor.  I tell the kids that they get to make their own dinner tonight.  This is fine until someone observes that we are out of bread.  No sandwiches?  What now?

Zoe breaks out the instant oatmeal and declares breakfast for dinner for her.  Becca sets an alarm for her teeth then makes herself a can of soup in the microwave.  Ali is starting to hold down water!  She declares herself to be starving.  I ask Becca to warm up some chicken broth for her. 

Everyone is fed but me.  I finally get Zoe to make me a packet of instant oatmeal.  I'm too tired to care that it's the nasty banana flavored junk.  I'll probably need some protein too, but this was a start. 

Well, I didn't wear a cape today, but the day was not the disaster that it could have been.  I want to go to bed, but it's not Micah's bedtime yet.  I guess there's still room for more excitement in this day after all.

2013: The Year Without Stopping

This year should be interesting.  I look at my schedule and I see full to overflowing.  This year my mission is obvious: get my degree in the midst of my normal family life.

I started off pretty well back to school.  I have 3 A's and 1 B in my classes from last semester.  I'm still kinda upset about the B.  Still, I did my best and came out with my family still functioning.

Next week I start a new semester.  It looks like some really tough classes ahead for the next 8 weeks.  I have three that I am starting next week.  I'm looking forward to them this time.  The last 8 weeks were just crazy and neither class was really enjoyable for me.  This time I have all classes that are in my major, and the classes seem really fun, though time consuming.  It will be 8 weeks of hard work, followed by 8 more weeks of hard work, then a moment to breathe, then back to another 8 weeks of hard work...that is pretty much my year.

At the end of the year, if all goes the way that it is supposed to, I will have my Bachelor's from California Baptist University.  I'm still not sure what the next step is after that, but I'm waiting for a calling from God before making plans.  I have a few things that I have in my head, but I want to make sure that whatever plans that I have come from God before making them.  I don't want to base my decision on what I want.  I want God to direct me completely.  It's kind of a strange place to be right now.  I'm still waiting on direction but moving forward with what I know God wants me to do.  Life would be so much easier if I knew all of the plans, but God never promised anyone an easy life.