What are you going to do today?

Every school day, as I let my girls out of the car, I ask them a question in a loud (and probably embarrassing) mom voice: "What are you going to do today?" I've asked this question to Becca since she started Kindergarten and the girls all know the correct response "listen and obey". Ali and Zoe love it. It starts off their day with a smile because they have seen me do this with Becca all the time.

Becca doesn't love it. She rolls her eyes, but still gives the correct response. I keep waiting for her to come up with a witty retort like "find a boy and run away" or "ruin my teacher's day". Still, she's got it in her head what I expect of her. She knows that she is to listen to those in authority and obey them.

Zoe and Ali are having more trouble in school than Becca ever did. Not that they aren't keeping up with the educational stuff...more like boredom there. Their problem is that they just aren't getting their way enough for their tastes. Zoe had her incident the first week. She hid under the table when she didn't get to be the line leader. This happened two days in a row and the teacher learned that she should tell me when my child does something wrong right away so that she won't do it again. Ali's incident happened this week. She decided that since she didn't get to be behind her friend in line, she just wasn't going to get in line. She cried and laid herself down on the floor. Her teacher told me that day. It worked. She's not had an incident, and she isn't likely to. My girls HATE not getting dessert. If teachers have to tell me about bad behavior, they don't get dessert. It's kind of double consequences because she had to lose recess too, but my kids had to learn that the teacher and I are on the same team.

Yesterday and today I added something new to our morning chat at the top of our lungs. After asking them what they are going to do today, I got my response, then I asked again "even if you don't get your way, you still" and they knew what to say without even being prompted "listen and obey".

I've learned that this concept, when reminded every morning, has helped Becca. She knows that I want her to do well in school, and she does, but the part that so many kids seem to lack that she doesn't is respect for authority. Don't get me wrong, she and I have our struggles, but they don't play out in front of others nor does she struggle with anyone else. She is eager to please her teachers and the staff at the school and other adults around her. She listens to them, and they all know it. Have I turned my child into a brown-noser? Probably. Being that way has served me well all my life, though. I just pray that this will play out as well in Ali and Zoe's lives as well as it has in Becca's.