I'm not a person who normally makes resolutions at the beginning of the year, but I usually have goals. To be more accurate, I have lived most of my life constantly going from one goal to another and often failing because I have too many things that I want to do. Lately I have felt a void as far as goals are concerned. I keep thinking that I need to do something new, but I have nothing that I am really excited about, so no goals are incredibly appealing to me.
I recently asked myself why I seem to have a lack of goal. It's not that I don't have a purpose, it's just that I am content with who I am and what I am doing. It's a great place to be. I know that I am not without flaws, but overall I think I am okay with my current rate of personal and spiritual growth. That may change, but I'm not looking for a change.
Here's the thing, I just couldn't stand to not have something that replaces a goal. I'm so bothered because I am so goal-oriented. Being content is a good thing, though!
I found my solution. I have decided to give the coming year a word that will help me focus. That word for me this year is "rest."
I don't mean sleeping all the time or being lazy. I mean rest, like in music when the rests make the piece more exciting and unexpected. I mean the rest that is provided by God when we come to Him after a long day of work. It's not lazy, it's not doing nothing, it's rest.
For me, at least right now, that means not taking on more projects than what are currently in my life to fill the quiet moments. It means not taking every project that comes to mind because I think I have the time for it. It means letting go of what I could be doing because I can and doing what I already have in my schedule well and leaving the rests. That's my focus for rest right now. It's not really a "goal" in my brain, but mostly because I am content with my current busy life. When the next exciting thing comes up, I may feel like it is doing work on myself.
I don't know. Maybe I really did just talk myself out of contentment. Still, not resting enough is definitely something that I am often told I should work on.
I really hope that my huge vacation plans for the uear end up going along with the the word "rest."
