The Great American Road Trip

For those of you who don't know, I'm going on a road trip this summer with all 4 kids and my mom.  It's going to be 3 weeks of adventure in June.  Tony is staying behind because he has to work. 

During those 3 weeks we will be driving from sunny So Cal to Tennessee, to Florida, and back.  Tennessee is in the trip because I'm going to the Clever Container national conference, then in Florida we will be dropping Becca off for a week for her missions trip with Teen Missions International.  The rest of us will be wandering around Florida for the week and having fun, then we will pick her up and start the drive back home.  Sounds fun, right?

Here are some of the challenges for planning this thing:

1. Traveling across the country with 4 kids.  Yeah, that's pretty much the biggest one.  We will be spending a LOT of time in the car and I'm constantly searching for things to do to keep them occupied that don't take up too much space.  We don't have a DVD player in the van, so that may keep things interesting.  It does have quite a few plugs for the kids' game boys and stuff.  Becca can get carsick sometimes, so that should make things interesting too.

2. Micah's diet.  We will be working with gluten free and casein free foods on the road.  Chex mix is my friend!  I'm looking forward to the times when we can hit farmers markets for some really fresh stuff that all of us can enjoy.

3. Budget.  Money is tighter than we originally thought it was going to be.  I'm bummed because we will be spending the week in Orlando and not going to Disney World, but we will survive.  It's going to be interesting trying to do a long road trip without eating out much.  The kids' clothes are coming from a thrift store or the sewing machine.  Hand me downs are also our friends.  We are also tent camping for the majority of the trip to make things a bit more budget friendly.

So, anyone have any suggestions?   Do you have a favorite cheap thing to do in Florida, Nashville, Oklahoma or southern Texas (those are our main stops)?  Ideas on what I should have the kids do in the car?  Favorite camping recipe that I can make GF/CF?  What do you think?

School Issues

The last few weeks have been horrible at the girls' school.  The "zero tolerance" violence policy there is a complete joke.  Last week I just lost all ability to take any more of it.

I volunteer once a week in Zoe's class and once a week in Ali's class.  All 5 classes of Kindergarteners at our school know me pretty well.  I am usually known as the mom who brings puppets and does sign language with them.  I get the advantage of being the "good guy" when things go wrong.  I give out hugs and take kids to the nurse when they are hurt.  I'm generally liked by the kids.

Zoe and Ali are pretty flexible and loving kids.  They are patient with the kids who need a little more patience to play with them.  They are used to that because they have played with Micah all their lives.

All that being said, it's taken this much into the year for the kid who has been violent since the beginning to get around to hurting my kid.  He's not in their class, only sees him on the playground or when classes combine, but he got to Zoe.  I was not a happy mommy.

The child in question is either sitting "on the wall" during recess, holding a teacher's hand during recess, or hurting someone every day that I have been there.  I have kept my mouth shut and watched and listened as the drama has unfolded with this child.  The teacher is sad because she hasn't gotten any assistance and he obviously has some social issues that need to be addressed.  She sends him to the office every time he harms another child and he has been sent back to class and the teacher is told that he doesn't understand that he has done anything wrong so they can't do anything.  Seriously?

The child doesn't have a 504, no IEP, no behavior plan. The teacher told me that the  Nothing has been done to help this child learn that what he is doing is wrong.  The consequences didn't go farther than him being sent to the office and the mom being talked to by the teacher until I said something because my child was hurt.
 
What's worse?  The principal told me when I spoke to him that day that he was doing everything that he could for this child.  

He obviously was lying.

What happened?  Zoe was running when the boy suddenly grabbed her by the hair, pulled her so he could get a hold on her neck, and then brought her down to the ground by choking her.  I also happen to know because I've seen it happen that this isn't the first time he has used this move.

I decided to go above the principal.  I went to the district office that day and filed a complaint.

Now, part of this I know because I listen to the teachers as they talk around me.  They know that I'm concerned for this child and not out to get him, but honestly, I don't think that they think that I'm listening when they are talking half the time.  I know that the mom was really upset that day when she took him home.  I also know that the only reason why he was sent home was because I went and talked to the principal about it. 

When the principal heard about my complaint, he told the teacher to email the psychologist and say that they need to "get something really started" for this child. Yeah, I probably shouldn't have overheard that part of the conversation.  It made me really mad.

The rest of the week I don't see this boy at school.  This week he hasn't come back either.  The teacher is wondering if the mom has given up.  I feel bad for her because no one has done anything to actually help her child and she doesn't know what services he could get if someone actually did the work to help him.

I got a response to my complaint.   "Based on the complaint an investigation into the student's record and the site's response to the student's behavior has been conducted.  Through the investigation it was discovered that site personnel are equally concerned and are implementing procedures and interventions as required by federal, state, and Board policy."

HA!  Now they are doing something.  Good thing I said something because nothing would have happened otherwise, I'm sure.  Of course, the mom is now completely at a loss and thinks no one there can help her, but now they will do something.

Ready for the next one?

Yesterday I got a phone call.  Becca was on the playground when a boy from her class came and wrapped her hood around her neck and pulled so hard she had red marks.   This is a boy who has been known to harm others as well.  Later Becca told me that he had been flipping her off.  Her friends have had the same type experience with this boy.

I don't want to have to go file another complaint.  I know that the teacher is frustrated, and I just think the kid needs interventions or at least real consequences for his behavior. 

Becca told me today that she's just not planning on wearing hoods anymore because she doesn't want to get hurt.  My kid shouldn't have to live like that.

AHHHH!!!!

That's about how I feel right now.

Why is it that when my son has an issue that has become a consistent problem he gets a behavior plan and interventions to help him learn, but other kids don't have that?  I know that a behavior plan isn't something that people like to have on kid's records, but it's designed to help them learn!  They have to have firm consequences for behavior or they will not learn that what they are doing is unacceptable.

I'm not talking about kids who have only had a behavior problem once or even twice, though the second time should be a red flag.  These kids have had problems consistently all year.  I'm not entirely certain that part of the problem isn't that the teachers need to adjust the way that they approach working with these kids, but the fact is that the behaviors haven't been properly assessed to find out what should be done to prevent them!

Anyhoo.

I'll jump down from my soap box now.  I'm a little frustrated, can you tell?  I don't really know what to do about these things.  I just wish I had money for a private school so I could take my kids out of this nonsense.  I know that private schools aren't perfect, but I'm sick of dealing with this system.

Are you a Supermommie?

This post is officially a rip off of another person's blog.  Here is that blog.  I'm adjusting it to actually include some other things that come along with being a twin parent and a parent of a child with special needs...okay, and the mom of an 8 year old adult wannabe.

Are you a Supermom or Superdad?

• Do you love your kids?
• Do you feed your kids?
• Do you try to feed your kids even if they insist that the only thing that they want to eat is yogurt and french fries?
• Do you feed yourself during/between attempts to feed your child?
• Have you ever been dressed as a princess, monster, Pinkalicious, Fancy Nancy, mad scientist, ballerina, and/or Dr Seuss and not complained?
• Are you proficient in adjusting classic nursery rhymes so that they aren't morbid, mean, or just plain crazy?
• Has your kid broken your car/phone/window/television/laptop/arm and is still alive?
• Has your kid ever hacked into your Amazon account so he can order everything on his wish list and lived to tell about it?
• Are you saving money so your child can attend a college that is more expensive per year than twice your annual salary just because she watched a football game one time when she was 3 and is forever a fan and would rather not attend college if she can't go there?
• Can you quote any children's book because you've read it 382 times?
• Have you ever cleaned up puke that is not your own without being paid before/after?
• Have you ever been awakened by the sound of someone short puking and bathing them while holding their head out of the water because they already fell asleep?
• Have you ever been overjoyed by a bouquet of dandelions handed to you?
• Have you ever smiled and accepted the gift of a poisonous plant then rushed your child to the bathroom to bathe and soak them in calamine? 
• Do you pretend to be scared whenever you hear the word "Boo!" no matter how long you've known your kid was around the corner giggling?
• Do you pretend to be scared as your child refines her growling technique so that she can scare away even the biggest boys?
• Do you wake up to little arms and legs crawling over you far earlier than any alarm should ever go off because someone took the last bowl of the little person's favorite cereal and you are the only one on earth who can make it better?
• Have you ever stared at two little faces squished together sleeping wondering if it will last long enough for a quick shower?
• Have you ever played referee for an argument over something completely insignificant to anyone but the 5 year olds doing the arguing?
• Have you ever clapped because your kid can do something that pretty much any kid can do?  Like say mama? Blink?
• Have you ever cried because your child finally said a single word besides no?
• Have you ever taken your kids out to Mc Donalds (or whatever fast food restaurant that you absolutely hate) just because they went to the bathroom on their own?
• Do you have Cheerios or a napkin or a Dora/Transformers Band-Aid in your purse?
• Do you have crayons in your purse/briefcase/car?
• Have you ever brought your child to the doctor for something you didn't do to them?
• Have you ever brought your child to the doctor for something that was probably your fault but it totally wasn't on purpose?
•  Does your child have a toothbrush?
• Does your child use that toothbrush for something other than grossing out his sister?
• Do you cry when you read about children going off to college when yours has 18 years to go?
• Do you cry when you find out how much sending that child to college is actually going to cost?
• Do you let your children win at games sometimes?
• Do you let your children lose at games sometimes?
• Have you ever felt prouder to lose when your child legitimately beat you at something?
• Have you ever let your child try to build something that probably isn't possible to build and may cost you money to replace the things he takes apart to have all the pieces for it?
• Have you ever spent over an hour in a mall looking for a decent dress for an 8 year old but styles prohibit you from allowing your child to buy anything so you end up determined to sew her something? 

Okay, I'm going to stop there, but there are about a million other things that could make you a Supermom or Superdad.  If there really was an easy way to determine these things then parenting would be a lot easier.  The fact is that you can be a super parent and not do any of these things but one.  You have to love them.  The things that we do as parents are different because our kids are different and we are different.  God knows what our kids need and what we need and puts us together in these little things we call families.  I don't know the words to Goodnight Moon.  I've read it once or twice, but I can't say that I've memorized it.  Still, I know my kids' favorite Bible verses and what they want to be when they grow up.  I know that Micah knows a lot more than he shows most people and that both he and Becca are still trying to figure out what God wants them to do to serve Him.  I can't say I'm the best mom in the world, but I can say that I'm the best mom for my kids.  I am Supermommie.