Christmas Report

My mom and I finished our Christmas projects on Christmas Eve this year. That is better than last year when I was finishing Christmas morning.

The evening of Christmas Eve we went to church for the Christmas Eve service where I had volunteered to take pictures of families all dressed up in their Christmas gear. Then came my family. The picture you see is all my husbands family...from his parents down anyway. My lovely niece in the corner is copying her facinating older cousin. No, she doesn't have autism. I thought it was totally funny. I'm not sure my SIL thought so, though.

From the church, we went to Tony's parent's house to have dinner and open presents. Thiis is not usually my favorite thing to do, being that there are 4 two-year-olds (not to mention my other two) in their tiny condo. I think that it turned out pretty well, though. They took out a couch to make more room. Some of us had to sit on the floor, but it wasn't as cramped. I'm usually more comfortable on the floor anyway.

The kids were loaded with all kinds of junk. Their toy supply increased dramatically, as it does every year at Christmas. Some funny stuff happened. Becca opened one toy, a Barbie, and took it to me and said, "look mom, it's a hoochie Barbie" speaking of the doll's revealing outfit. You see, I have had several conversations with my daughter about appropriate clothing, and she picked up on the one time that I used those words to describe a inappropriately dressed Barbie doll. I wanted to laugh, but Becca probably would have taken that the wrong way (not to mention the person who gave her said Barbie), so I qietly told her that we would fix it later. A bit of extra material sewn in all the right places fixed the outfit just fine, the moment, however uncomfortable at the time, was quite funny.

My kids were really pretty good that night, so I don't really have much to complain about. My nieces were pretty good, too. I think that one parent wished her daughter was better behaved, but I thought she did pretty well considering how exciting Christmas is and being with her cousins. That was kind of awkward sometimes, but I kept my mouth shut pretty well I think.

Christmas morning was good. My kids woke up at about 8, or a little after. They were excited, but they slept in. That was a nice present.

The kids loved the presents that we made. Ali took all the things that we gave her to dress up in and put them all on. She was really cute.

The dolls were a big hit, too. My pictures were a little blurry because my auto-focus still doesn't work on my camera, and I was just trying to get the reactions and I didn't get the focus fast enough. I'm a little bummed, but you can still see the reactions, even if the quality isn't that great.

Another great laugh on Christmas was the package to one of the girl's toys. It was a set of cooking utinsils for their play kitchen. Well, you can read the box. Apparently is was translated to English...badly. I didn't really notice anything other than the price (it was only three bucks, I guess I know why now). Tony noticed it and asked me for the camera. We were all laughing.

That evening we went to my grandmother's house and met my younger brother and his wife there and exchanged gifts with all of them. My grandmother is notorious for her strange gifts (I don't think my husband will ever get over the wooden barbecue skewers that she gave to him once...though he has fond memories of his own grandmother's funny gifts, too). This year my husband and I received a laundry rack. Yeah, one of those things that takes up space to lay out your sweaters on. I've never used one. My husband knew that he wasn't supposed to put sweaters in the drier, but I don't think he has ever dried them any other way. I rarely dry anything any other way. Anyone need something to take up space? We also received a book that we have gotten from her at least twice before, and a cd of something that I would never listen to. My girls all scored dolls and Micah got...I don't remember, but he didn't play with it over there, he was too busy playing with a set of cars that she keeps over at her house for him.

Overall, it was a pretty successful Christmas. Loads of fun. We still have more with my brother and his family coming down here to sunny (ha!) California from the snowy Washington state. That will be fun. Hope your Christmas was merry!

Picture Editing Software

Photoshop is amazing. I love the program. I can't afford it. I know, there are a lot of ways to hack the download, but I'm not into doing illegal stuff. I did the free trial thing so that I could finish my photography class well, and it was really nice to have it. Now I'm spoiled. My free trial is over and I want it back.

I just have trouble going back to the free programs that are just substitutes for the real thing. I have gimp. It is really great, but not really easy to use. I have paint.net. It just doesn't have all the great features that I have been using so much. My mom bought photoshop elements, and I can use that on her computer, but going from the full version back to elements is just frustrating.

So yeah, I'm spoiled.

While searching for a new free program that would make me feel better about being broke, I ran across a new download that makes me feel a little better. It's called gimpshop. It's a free program that goes along with (well, it hacks the program) gimp to make it look like photoshop. It's not perfect, but it's is free, legal, and easy. I started playing with it and I began to breathe again. I can still do many of the things that I love doing with my pictures in a comparable amount of time. I'm not sure how to do all of the stuff that I like to do yet, and I'm not even sure if it has the capability of doing all of them, but I'm not suffering as bad. I'll figure it out.

Merry Christmas People!

The thing that I most like about Christmas is people. I like to people watch. I like to see people in good moods or seriously bad moods in the middle of the "most wonderful time of the year." I like watching people open presents. I like it when people aren't bothered by Christian music playing in the malls because it is about Christmas. I like watching people get frustrated at their kid's list in the toy store. I like getting up early on Black Friday to watch people start their shopping with frantic searches for something cheap that their kid will like.

I like all that stuff. It's just fun to me. I don't really care if I get any presents, I just want to see others get some. It sounds selfless, but it isn't. I selfishly crave the moments, and if I could capture them on camera, it would be even better. Tonight I go to a party full of teenagers. It's even money whether or not the attitudes are good or bad, if you know a teenager, you know that. I like getting pictures of these teenagers in the attitudes that get others irritated at them and in their joyful moments, the overly enthusiastic times that people tend to overlook because the bad times are so very bad. I love seeing that. I love sharing those moments with their parents later just to remind them about the good stuff when the attitudes come back.

I love watching my kids this time of year. There were at least two times so far that I wished I had my camera stuck to my eye all the time so I could have caught some moments of wonder. Becca is just beautiful when surprised.

This year I have been a little too busy for the good people watching. Sitting on a bench in the mall just watching people is the best. Try it sometime. Don't worry about the parking space, find one in the back, you are just going inside to sit anyway. I know that spots in the back are hard to find right now, too, but when you are relaxed and don't really have a specific destination in mind, it makes the parking lot less frustrating. Find somewhere to sit. This is again not too easy, but the walk to find this place is interesting, too. Enjoy the walk. Watch people around you. When you find your spot, sit and relax. The frustrated people will be there. The happy people might be there. I like to sit and pray for the really frustrated ones. I like to pray for the kids getting dragged along, or shoved out of the way. I like to pray for those working in the kiosks. It can be difficult this time of year. I've been there. Those who work in the toy stores are also in need of a lot of prayer. Patience is pretty thin the closer it gets to Christmas. I've been there, too.

So, if you are in the mood and have a few hours to spare, give it a try. I don't recommend doing it with small children, but older ones might appreciate it if they have the patience to sit and watch. I guess it depends on the child.

"And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God." Philippians 1:9-11

Christmas Presents

Warning: If you are family and like to be surprised, don't read any further. I don't think I'm really giving anything much away that I haven't already told you, though, unless you are a child. Here's something to distract you.



Ok, ready?

Long ago when I realized how broke I was going to be a Christmas, I decided that I was going to use my homework for my photography class as presents. By the way, this helped me make several decisions in my class, and really helped me out in many ways in class. It is also helping me now, since I am even broker (a great word) than I thought I would be.

So now my decisions are basically just about the kids. I am in the middle of a huge project for the older girls. My mom and I are making Barbie clothes. Sewing little tiny stuff is hard. I'm not really the sewing type, either. I just don't think that the kids would appreciate the pictures.

The little girls (4 two-year-olds) are all getting dolls that I am making. That's pretty fun, actually. The sewing isn't that difficult, and just the design is fun.

The boys are all I have left, and I'm not totally set on something yet for them. Micah might get a book of Lego designs. He has a whole lot of Legos that he won't use because he doesn't have instructions. He loves the kits because he has the instructions. The problem is that once he does the designs in the package, he won't play with them anymore. It's an autism thing. He really has to be shown how to play, otherwise he will go back to lining everything up. I figure I'll print up some instructions and put them in a notebook. I do have to make sure that he has all the blocks in the designs before I put them in. I haven't totally decided about that, though. I know, nothing like waiting until the last minute, right?

I am not sure about my nephews yet, either. I had ideas, but I was waiting for some money to magically appear in my budget. It didn't happen. I'm bummed.

I have to say, though, that making gifts feels better than buying them. I know that the things that I am giving are personal. Last year I gave all adults in the family calendars that I made. That was fun. Very personal, and not something that they will get somewhere else.

Still, I'm frustrated at not being able to shop. I love shopping. Retail therapy is my favorite. It was sad not to be able to go do Black Friday stuff. Bills have to be paid, though. I used to be able to shop all in that one day, but family got bigger, and bills went up, and life happened.

I am determined not to let that get me down, though. The stuff I am making this year is fun, personalized, and from my heart (and my mom's...Tony did think up something, too.).

So what do you think, do you like getting hand-made gifts?

Apartment hunting

What a horrible title for my blog. No, I'm not looking for a new place for us to live (not yet, but we are living miracle to miracle paying bills around here). My grandmother is looking for an apartment. This means that I am doing the work to find something that fits her needs, and then going to get her to show her the place, then she says yes or no from there. So far I have only shown her one place that fit close to her criteria, and she turned that one down.

I really don't mind doing the looking, and I understand her desire for something just right. I hate moving, and I know it won't be fun for her either. Still, shopping for a senior apartment with the kids along has proved to be difficult. So many people don't like that I have two toddlers along and want to make sure that I understand that we are not welcome. This irritates me, since I am quite clear that my grandmother is the one needing the apartment, not me. So basically I try to do things over the phone or on the internet, but that doesn't always work to find out everything.

I don't think I want her to live somewhere that wants to make me and my kids feel unwelcome anyway. Part of the reason why I am doing the searching is because she wants to live out here by us so I can take her places and take care of her easier. If I am doing that, my kids will be around. I don't want to have problems with that later. I just think that if I am clear that it is for my grandmother, and she doesn't get around very well so she wants me to check things out before going to check the place out herself, I shouldn't get an attitude out of people.

The one place that I showed my grandma was a place that I visited with my mother. I guess she looks like she could be shopping for an apartment for her mother more than I look like I am shopping for my grandmother. I was there, and the twins, so either their attitude was just better than others, or they believed my mom more than the others believed me.

Hopefully I'll find somewhere soon. My grandma isn't in a rush, but she does want to move or at least know where and when she is moving soon. Personally, I don't like her neighborhood that she is in right now, so I am in a hurry. If you read my husband's blogs you know that there's some horrible things that go on around there. It wasn't too bad when she moved in, but over the past 17 years the place has gone downhill. It is difficult to find somewhere in her price range that fits her criteria, though. Of course, that is almost every apartment hunter's problem, right?

Organization Update

In my efforts to become more organized (well, at least where my children are concerned), I did what every other geek (a title that I now claim next to my husband with pride) does: Google search.

I searched for a chart for my kids to help me get ideas on how to put together one of my own, but then I ran across one that was adaptable and easy and basically perfect for my needs. It's called Handipoints. It's really simple. You just go on and create a list of chores or tasks for your kids to do. Those tasks, when completed, create points for your child (or take points away if your child is doing something bad). Those points can be saved up to be used on goals that you (or the child) creates.

It's really adaptable and easy to use, so we gave it a try. I started on Tuesday right after blogging about this last time and doing my googling. Well, I had to go to the store and get printer ink, too.

The verdict? I'm still undecided. It's working for Becca, though. Her whole attitude changed when I started to give her points for things. Now she wants to get her chores done so that she can earn her date out with her parents and no siblings(though she told me that she just wants her daddy to go and not me...still not a fun thing to hear). She gets got a demerit for a bad attitude just one time, and now she is working on that. I also don't have to fight her to get her hair done in the mornings because she wants points for brushing her hair. The total turn around in attitude is great for her, and I'm really excited to see how long this lasts.

Micah isn't totally up to it, though. I think his problem is that there isn't the instant gratification that he normally gets for doing things. I think I'll have to start marking the chart with stickers instead of checks, or letting him check things off on the computer. That might solve his problems.

Ali and Zoe just don't get it. They are only 2. I didn't really think that they would, but I didn't want to leave them out.

There's also a thing with Handipoints to create a character and get things for him to wear and stuff using another set of points, but that thing costs money, and I'm all about the free stuff. Still, it seems like fun stuff. I haven't really discovered all that the program does, I'm sure, but still, it's working just for the charts for now. I'll probably stay up late sometime and figure it all out.

My frustration was really regarding Becca anyway, so if this continues to work for her at least, I'll consider it worth it. It's nice to get away from the constant crying over having to do chores and homework. I really didn't like having to continually ground her for attitude issues. It's also nice for her to be reminding me that she has to do her homework or feed her dog.

Just a little Cuteness

This morning the twins and I went to the grocery store. Always a fun experience. On the way home I hear Ali in the back shout, "Mommy, I need to go potty!" At this time, we are about 2 minutes from home, and I am thinking that I will probably have a mess in her seat to clean up. I tell her to try to wait and use her big girl muscles. She flexes her arms and makes a funny face then suddenly crys out, "God help me, amen!"

We made it home with no mess.

She got on the toilet and went, and then she said, "God helped me, mommy!" To which I replied, "Yes He did."

God cares about the little and big stuff in our lives. In the process of potty training, I have cleaned up many messes. This one wouldn't have been a big deal for me, but apparently it made a difference to Ali. She called for help and God answered her, even though to others, it wasn't a big deal. Do you ever think that your problems aren't big enough to ask God about? Size doesn't matter to God. He's big enough for the big stuff and small enough for the small stuff at the same time. He's God, and He loves you.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly."

-Jesus Christ

John 10:7-10

Organizing kids

My beautiful little girl went to school this morning in her old shoes that I should have put in the trash. Why? She couldn't find her newer shoes because she didn't put them away, and Ali just loves to wear other people's shoes and pretend to be them.

We were late getting ready because Becca was still doing homework this morning. I've come up with a plan, though.

I am making a chart. It's a chore chart that all the kids can check off when they do things. When all their check marks are in place, they can play or watch tv or anything else that they want to do. We already have the do homework before watching tv rule, but since Becca's homework isn't really organized for each day, I'll have to check her stuff when she gets it and organize it so that she does a little each day. Micah is going to need it so that he remembers his chores. Becca usually remembers her chores, but puts off her homework. I figure I'll put the twins on there, but their only chore is to pick up their toys so far, and I'll have to come up with something to work for homework because I know that they are going to want to do that, too. They already asked for homework yesterday. I am debating putting Cassidy on there, too. She's only here in the morning, but if the twins start getting into it, Cassidy will probably need to have something to do, too. I may just give her homework or something. The girls like to color, we may just do some of that every day with an occasional craft project or something.

I haven't totally figured it out. I know that it will have to be big, or no one will remember it. I may have to make separate charts for each child just because their activites are so different. Hmm...I don't know. I do know that the 99 cent store has poster board real cheap, so I could try things out. Still, if it is going to be reusable, I'll probably have to laminate it or something.

Remember when I said I am a walking disaster? I meant it. I am no good at this organizational stuff. I can intelectually fathom the idea for organization, I just don't do it. Yeah, that's where my kids get it from. Micah actually is more organized than I am. He has his routine and will remind me of things if I forget. If I start this chart thing and do it with both kids together, my hope is that he will begin to remind Becca. It's pretty fair that he should help teach her organization since she teaches him all the time about interacting with people. They are therapy for each other.

Well, that's my plan. I should probably write down all the rules for them, too. I did stuff like this when I was teaching preschool, you would think that I could put it into place with no problem in my own home. It kinda sounds like a verse I read recently:

"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." Romans 7:15

That passage is about sin and the struggle with it. When I read it, I usually have to read it over and over a few times because it kinda gets confusing, but its really worth it. I recommend reading the whole chapter.

Kindergarten stuff

Well, tomorrow Becca goes back to school and has her first day of all day kindergarten. This means that today, we are doing her off-track homework. About 3/4 of it is being done today. The packet was about 40 pages of busy work that is just so simple that Becca has had a hard time doing it for very long. That means that I have spent my entire day telling her that she has to do 4 more pages and then she can have a break. Then I tell her to go back and re-do the ones that she just scribbled through so that it can be done. Yep, she's really lazy.

The one negative thing that Becca's teachers have to say about her is that she procrastinates and then rushes through her work at the last minute. Yep, that's exactly what she is doing here at home. They say that she'll probably do better once she has the harder work that is coming, but I'm thinking that there isn't much in Kindergarten curriculum that she doesn't already know.

She has been told almost every day of the break (except weekends, I just don't think kids should do schoolwork on weekends unless it's really necessary) that it is time to do some homework, and she will sit down and apparently look like she's doing something and then when I get distracted, she escapes. I know, it's probably all my fault.

So here I am. I'm now going to make her a schedule now. Every day she will have a more structured plan for her work. I hate schedules. I really don't want to do this. I get enough of that with Micah. Still, she has to learn organizational skills somewhere. Maybe a checklist. I'm thinking on it.

So, those of you who are moms (or happen to be organized, or just have a thought you'd like to share...I'm not picky), do you have any ideas? I'm not really organized myself, as I previously admitted, so whatever plan that I make would have to be simple and probably very visible so that I am reminded about it as well as she is.

Here's a fun proverb:

"All hard work brings a profit,
but mere talk leads only to poverty." Proverbs 14:23

Thanksgiving...continued I guess...

San Diego was fun. I guess I expected it to be better, though, and it was kinda a let down. Still, my kids had a blast, I just wish that their fun had rubbed off on me more.

I don't really know why I didn't enjoy myself as much as I thought I should have. Part of it was the ever present feeling that I was inconveniencing everyone around me the whole time. My mom and grandma stayed in the hotel room with my kids and Tony and I stayed with my brother and sister-in-law. That was totally my mom's idea. I kept feeling like I should be there for my kids more, though. It was actually a bummer not to be with them. I don't know why, but when Tony and I were with just my brother and his wife, I felt like I was the only one who was trying to have fun. It may have just been the me, and I don't really blame anyone else.

The most fun that I had was on Thursday afternoon. Tony and I took Micah and Becca by ourselves to Sea World while the girls and others napped. Then we went back to the hotel.

Thursday night we went to go see a movie. Probably any other time it wouldn't have bothered me so much, but in the middle of my vacation, we saw a really depressing and sad movie. I was bummed.

Black Friday is usually one of my favorite days, and I didn't get to do any shopping. That bummed me out, too. There really weren't any sales that I could get excited over anyway. Then I saw on the news that morning about the guy who was trampled and killed at Wal-Mart in New York. When you hear news like that, it's hard to complain that you didn't get to go shopping.

Friday my brother and sister-in-law took my mom and grandma home early. My sister-in-law is pregnant, and the trip was long and the beds were not the most comfortable. The kids and Tony and I stayed at Sea World for the holiday shows that started this weekend. That was fun. My kids were kinda tired after the last couple of days, though. They were really tired by the end, and Ali and Zoe could have done without the last show. It was a good show, but two very tired toddlers just don't care what Shamu does with Christmas music playing. I wished that they had fallen asleep. The show was rather good, but we all would have enjoyed it more without the twins screaming through quite a bit of it.

If I had it to do over again, I probably would have insisted on staying with my kids. It would have meant more work for me and less sleep, but I probably would have enjoyed myself more. Not that my brother and his wife aren't fun people to be with or anything, I just love being with my kids.

In the future, I think I would rather spend my holidays at home. I can keep my kids with me, I don't feel like I am inconveniencing everyone the whole time, and when I feel like people around me are getting bored or don't feel good or something, I feel like I am allowed to feel responsible and try to fix that feeling here in my home. I can care for my kids and take care of people at the same time.

I guess my problem this Thanksgiving was that I didn't feel like I could be a mom. I like caring for people. I like caring for my kids. I felt displaced without them. I find myself now feeling thankful that I am with my kids at home again.

Thanksgiving

This year for Thanksgiving, my family, my brother and sister-in-law, my mom, and my grandma are going to San Diego for the holiday. We are spending tonight and tomorrow night down there and going to Sea World. Yeah! Rain! Yep, that was sarcasm.

So last night I packed my kid's bags for just today because they went down early with my mom and grandma to go to Sea World by themselves. Yep, that means I spent the day without kids. I got laundry done (that I probably shouldn't have done since my recent chest episode), packed the rest of our stuff, and enjoyed the silence. It's been a good day so far. Still, I have a long ride tonight. No kids, though.

I just realized that I haven't blogged in a while...well not this week anyway. On Sunday I had a normal day until the evening. I got out of church not feeling so well, but I figured it was just the cold that I was getting. I went to get my kids from their class and really started hurting. I sat down on the ground totally in pain. It hurt. At this point, I'm scared I'm having a heart attack. I don't look up because I know that I am surrounded by people. I hurt. I vaguely hear my friends asking questions and kinda answer, but I'm not really up to conversation. I hear Tony say that he is taking the kids home and my mom is taking me to the hospital. At this point I don't care, I just want the pain to stop.

So, did I have a heart attack? No. It has a really long name, but basically I injured the cartilage in my chest and it is inflamed causing pressure and a lot of pain. Tony put the Web MD explanation in his blog if you are curious. I got a shot that took away my pain right then, or at least took it down several notches, and some good pain meds for home. I was told not to lift anything and let my chest heal. Hopefully it won't be necessary for me to lift my kids for a while. I took some of my meds just to do laundry today, and I probably still shouldn't have lifted the stuff.

My mom has been off work this week, and so I thought I would be able to rest. I had a huge assignment due for school last night, and my mom was trying to get me to plan stuff for our trip at the same time. I pretty much told her (in the most respectful and kind way possible) that I wasn't planning anything, and if she wanted me to do stuff, write it down so I would have it for today. It didn't work. So in the middle of my creative expression, I hear things questions about what the kids are going to wear. I really didn't care. I figured I would get her all the stuff she needed for today, and then get the rest when I didn't have anything else to do. Which is what I did. Still, it didn't stop her from interrupting me. She did come and help me out every once in a while, too, though.

My project didn't turn out as well as I wanted it to, but it was ok. What do you think?

From photography class

From photography class

From photography class

From photography class

From photography class

Pictures

I took some fun pictures today for an assignment that I find truly annoying. Still, the pictures were good.

From photography class

That's my Zoe

From photography class

Cassidy...yeah...

From photography class

Ali

So, they are a bunch of pictures that I probably wouldn't have taken if it weren't for the dumb assignment, so maybe I'm grateful. Still, I have to write a paper, and that really irritates me. Not that I mind writing a paper, I just don't like the subject. Notice that I'm not telling what the assignment is. That's because I don't really want to hear all about the merits of doing this assignment, I know those, but I still don't like it. I'll write the paper, do my best, I'll appreciate the pictures that I took because of it, and I'll be glad that it's over.

In the beginning...

This morning the girls and I spent a lot of time in the car. I accidentally left my purse in the car last night, and since I drive the van for everything (for obvious reasons) I had to go chase my husband down to pick it up before I went walking. So off I go in the opposite direction of the mall that I walk, and then back to to the Ontario Mills to walk and walk with the 4 girls.

I took the wagon in this time to the mall, and all 4 girls wanted to ride. Loads of fun for them, not so fun for my arm. Becca and Cassidy walked for 2 of the 4 miles, and the twins walked for about half a mile. Yeah, the twins are lazy, and also really slow and don't like to keep up.

After that I went grocery shopping. I found out that the store that I was going to for the turkey for next week was out of the ones that Micah can have. Bummer. On to the next store. All their turkeys were not okay either. Finally I gave up and went to Trader Joe's because Micah is out of the waffles that he eats every day for breakfast. They are out. I'm having a horrible shopping trip. At least the girls were good. I bribe them well, though. They only get samples if they are good.

We didn't make it home in time for Cassidy to get picked up by Carrie after work, so I am going to have to take her home later. She's been great all day until about right now. I think she just remembered that she's two. Of course, the twins didn't need that reminder. Trader Joe's was really great with the screaming Zoe the entire time because she didn't get her way. It got worse when they were giving out samples of cookies and she couldn't have one.

So anyways back to the car. I literally went from home out to San Berdoo, out to Ontario, up to north Fontana, then back home, then out to Redlands, then back home. I don't know how many miles that is, but it's a lot. During that time we were listening to Becca's cd for Sparks (the Awana club...a discipleship training for kids), and we heard stories starting from creation going all the way to Babel. Of course it didn't really hit all of the stories, but there were several. Creation was fun because the girls (all three two year olds) have been going over creation in their Awana club, Puggles. They know that God made everything, and they will say it over and over, and over, and over... They are now on to "it was very good," but they don't really know that part very well and it comes out funny sometimes.

So, that was my morning. Kinda a bummer in that I don't feel like I accomplished anything, but I sure did do a lot. Still, the car rides were entertaining.

"God saw all that he had made, and it was very good..." Genesis 1:31

Why am I already frustrated?

Here it comes, I am about to give in to the frustration. Here I started to diet and exercise for my health, and people automatically make comments about losing weight. I heard it all day long. I really want to shout it out loud, but at the moment I'll just shout here in all caps. Excuse me for one moment.

I DO NOT CARE ABOUT LOSING WEIGHT!!!

I'm not trying to make my body look better. I'm not going there. As a matter of fact, I really don't care what you think about my body. As long as I please God and my husband, nothing else really matters, right?

I know that I still get the question that by the way is extremely rude: "are you pregnant again?" No. The fact of the matter is that because of the way that my skin stretched during the twin pregnancy, fat tends to stick to the skin that I haven't worked to lose. I really don't care. And by the way, even if I was, what is it to you? Don't get that disgusted look that comes from thinking that I shouldn't continue to procreate. I don't care if I already have 4 kids, if God continues to bless me with children, I'll take them and thank Him for my blessings. Now, He would have to get past the surgery that I had done to prevent further pregnancies, but it isn't beyond His power. But I digress...

Now, I have decided to begin to record progress in weight loss/gain, but really that's a family thing. My father-in-law came up with a plan for the family to work together to lose weight. Honestly, I'm doing it for him. It's a family thing. If I happen to lose weight while I exercise and try to work on my cholesterol, then hooray, I've done something for the group. That's awesome. I actually expect to lose some anyway, I may as well do it while encouraging others. I'm trying not to lose focus, though. It's hard. Everyone else wants to lose weight. Whether it's for health issues or not, their focus is different.

So here I am. My main issue I guess was going to church all day for our annual car show. Two meals, breakfast and lunch, and neither were on my diet. Pancakes, sausage, and eggs for breakfast. All of which, when prepared correctly with the right ingredients would be just fine, but since they were all basically delicious balls of cholesterol covered in butter, they were not just fine for me. Barbecued pork sandwiches smelled wonderful, but my heart just couldn't take it. I asked Tony to go get me something else. He came back with a chicken tostada salad from El Pollo Loco. Yum. This made people wonder why I wouldn't like the food that people worked so hard to prepare. I don't mind telling people that I am on a diet, I just wish that they didn't just assume that I want to get rid of baby weight. I must look awful to them from the response...over and over. I really wouldn't care if it was just one person, but it just continued all day, and it just got irritating after a while.

By the way, I've walked another 6 miles since Wednesday, making it 10 since I began the count. Not that I plan on updating every couple of days or anything, I just thought I'd say something more positive in this whiny blog.

So here we go. I have a challenge for you. Say something completely honest and positive that as far as you know would not be misconstrued into anything negative to someone every day this week. No more "I didn't mean it like that." If you can't think of anything, work on it. Don't say something like, "wow, you're starting to look good. The diet is working!" Yeah. I don't care to be reminded that you thought I looked horrible before. Not that the comment should be to me, but you get my point. Spread a little love. No more verbal halitosis.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29

I know, I'm convicted by this verse, too.

The Coolest Camera Attatchment Ever

I know, two blogs in one day? Doesn't Supermommie have a life? NO.

I was surfing the web trying to calm down after a particularly irritating event concerning my wonderful children, when I found the coolest attachment for my digital SLR ever.

What is that? It's a super secret spy lens.

Huh?

It's a lens attachment that can help you take pictures of people without them hiding their face or posing or any number of annoying things that people do when you get out your camera and point it at them.

I want one. I want to be able to take pictures of those people in our youth group who make faces at me when I get out my camera. I want to take a decent picture of Becca without her breaking into a pose. So, yeah, 10th commandment and all that... I'm still drooling. Time to go repent...and let my children come out of their rooms and clean up their mess.

Tag. I'm it!

When the game of tag is played at my house, it's fun, but no one really understands the rules. Becca has asked about the real way to play, but I don't tell her because she'll just try to make everyone play it that way, and I just don't think that's as fun. Basically all 4 of my kids run around and tag each other shouting "tag, you're it!" It's a hilarious free for all that lasts for about 10 minutes.

That being said, you understand that I rarely follow the rules for these tagging games. So when my friend Jennifer tags me, I ask myself, should I follow the rules?

Why not?

So I'm supposed to give you 7 random things about me. Of course, I recently gave you 5 random things about me, so I could just give you two more and tell you to look for my previous blog with the rest, and if I run out of thoughts after two, I'll do that. Let's start with 7 and work my way back then.

7. I have a new favorite character in Sesame Street (doesn't everyone have a favorite Sesame Street character?). I really like Murray. His new segment with his little lamb that speaks Spanish is really great. He makes me laugh.

6. One of my favorite snacks is bologna and pickles. I've been told that this is weird, but since it's one of my mom's favorites, it never seems odd to me. Of course, I don't eat this snack anymore because of the unhealthy stuff in bologna. I don't like the chicken bologna, just the regular kind, and even if I did, it's still pretty unhealthy. Sorry if I've just grossed you out, though if you think about it, bologna is really just a hot dog shaped differently, so think of it as a hot dog with relish.

Can I think of any more? Hmm... I think I'll come up with more, but if I run out of thoughts before the end, just refer to the old blog.

5. I read a lot. I don't like checking books out of the library, though, because I never get them back on time. I end up paying huge fines, and I figure I may as well just buy them. This makes reading a rather expensive habit.

4. Did I mention that I read a lot? This started for me quite young. The first real book (I don't count the picture books) that I read was Little Women. I read it when I was 5-6. It took me a year to get through, but I really enjoyed it. I kept going from there with classics with an occasional Babysitter's club or something else actually for my age group until I discovered Sci-Fi. I went through that faze in junior high. High school I didn't have time for much except for required reading, but occasionally I would skip that and go back to more Sci-Fi or a few fantasy books. Then I started to really get into humor. I think that's Tony's fault, though. It was kinda my mood at the time. I began to get into Christian Fiction after that. That's pretty much where I stick to still. Of course, I read books about autism and raising twins, but I don't really count those, they aren't really for enjoyment. That's like saying I read text books in school.

3. I hate doing dishes. I know, there aren't many people who could say that they enjoy this task, but I really hate it. I hate it so much that when we bought a house without a dishwasher, I immediately began figuring out how to afford to put one in, because I certainly didn't want to spend much time doing a chore that I really hate doing. On any given day you will probably find dirty dishes in my house. I know, I shouldn't put it off, but I just can't always get myself up to do it. Becca unloads the dishwasher, and as soon as she is able to, I plan on making the dishes her regular chore.

2. I make my kids do chores. All of my kids. Micah takes out the trash, and keeps his room clean. Becca unloads the dishes. Ali and Zoe have to keep their room picked up. Ok, Becca has to help the girls with their room, but the girls have to start somewhere. I have 4 kids. If I tried to keep up with cleaning everything, I would go nuts (or more nuts...or something). I am showing the twins how to do the laundry, but they aren't up to doing much but "helping" so far. They are only 2. Still, I fully intend to have help cleaning the house for as long as my kids live here. If that makes my kids little slaves so be it.

I made it to the last one! Umm...I can't think of anything else about me! Ahh! Oh, here's one:

1. I get addicted to video games pretty easily. Not as easily as my husband does, and never the really complicated ones, but addictinggames.com is one site that I have to avoid. Bloons Tower Defense 3 was really fun, but I got stuck on it for too long.

That's it! I am now supposed to tag 7 people. Hmm...I don't know. Maybe I'll just tag a couple.

1. Tony. My dear husband. I tag you, and please, try to make your list things that you think that I don't know about you.

2. Tony. My brother. I think that your list will be scary, but interesting.

3. Shana. Only because you make me laugh.

4. Tiffany. There are few people who write blogs as interesting and fun as yours, if you find the time, tag, you're it!

Hmm...and anyone else who reads this, maybe? That's probably against the rules, but still, tag, you're it!

Health stuff

Well, just in case you want to know, I have yet to experience chest pains this week. Whether or not something is really working, I'm glad to not to be in pain. I don't know if I have really lost any more weight because I don't do scales. I'm trying not to get obsessed with my weight but still get healthier. Every once in a while I'll go check myself at on my sister-in-law's Wii fit, but that probably won't be a regular thing. I'm still pretty motivated to change things, and being pretty broke makes fast food not even an option if I'm craving it. While I hate being broke, there is a plus side.

At the moment, Becca is off-track, and I am walking in the mall every day. I get 3-4 miles in before the kids all go crazy. The 4 girls do pretty well in either the double stroller, or I drag them around in the wagon. Or both if someone with free hands is with me and willing. Becca usually runs, though. If anyone wants to join in, we have a lot of fun. This morning we were by ourselves, much to Becca's disappointment. My mom was with us while she was off, and my good friend, Shelley comes when she can. Hopefully I'll get Cassidy's mom to come soon, she bailed on me yesterday. Why do I go to the mall? I find it so much easier to actually walk there. It's inside. It's a smooth surface for whatever I am pushing or pulling to roll on. There are few people there in the mornings before it opens so I can let the girls run and still see them, and pretty much everyone else is just trying to excersise, too. It's a good place to walk. We tend to leave before it opens so I don't give in to any urges to spend money that I don't have.

If I ever get into running, I think I will have to do it without kids. That's probably why I don't do that. I think I would enjoy it, but I would have to find time, without them, and all that kind of time is pretty well taken up right now. I'd also like to join a gym, but my being broke just doesn't work out for that. Still, I don't know when I'd have time for that anyway. My favorite excersise is swimming, and since a pool is completely out of the question, and that's pretty much the only way I would be able to do that on a regular basis, I don't think I'll be able to do that kind of thing any time soon.

As for my diet, I just solved the problem of not eating red meat by not buying any...much to the dissappointment of my mother. Well, she shouldn't have any either, so I'm kinda doing her a favor. As long as I keep her in popcorn, she will live. I eat my oatmeal or Cheerios everyday. Tonight we are having turkey. Yep, it's not Thanksgiving yet, but I have a turkey in the oven. It's cheap. Leftovers go forever. Plus, when cooked right, it is really quite healthy. I'm hoping we aren't sick of it by Thanksgiving, but I have some new recipes that I found that should make the leftovers more interesting.

Well, that's my update. I know most people when doing this kind of blog post numbers, but I don't really have any. I guess I could tell you how many miles I walked and keep that updated, but I'd have to keep count. Hmm...I can't remember. This morning it was 4, I can start from there. I want a party when I reach 100. Or maybe 500...I don't know yet. Suprise me. I'm ok with 246, too.

"My son, pay attention to what I say;
listen closely to my words.

Do not let them out of your sight,
keep them within your heart;

for they are life to those who find them
and health to a man's whole body.

Above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life.

Put away perversity from your mouth;
keep corrupt talk far from your lips.

Let your eyes look straight ahead,
fix your gaze directly before you.

Make level paths for your feet
and take only ways that are firm.

Do not swerve to the right or the left;
keep your foot from evil."

Proverbs 4:20-27

A not so funny thing happened to me at the grocery store...

I wonder why it is that so many things that irritate me happen at the grocery store.

I was going to my car after a quick trip to the grocery store for bread to make garlic bread for my lasagna that my mom and I made that evening (from scratch...it was good, and fun since I had never made it before and we were not really going by a recipe, just trying to make it with the stuff that we happened to have in the house). I was stopped by a lady that goes to our church. She proceeded to make some remarks about my son in church, and I just stood there. She eventually came to the point where she told me that I should be keeping him at home.

First let me point out that this is not the opinion of most of the people at my church. There are very few people who have made negative comments about my son, and those people tend to be pretty reasonable still when I explain the situation and tell them more about autism. I have had these conversations, my pastor has had these conversations with people on my behalf, and the results are that for the most part, Micah is accepted and supported at church.

Second, Micah has really made a lot of progress at church, and really doesn't disturb anyone as much at he used to.

Third, I was so tired at that moment because I was up all night at the youth lock-in, and I really hadn't slept well enough yet, so I was really not prepared to be nice to this attack.

Ok, so what was my response to this lady? I told her that I would be happy to have this conversation with her another time, but at this moment, I really needed to get this bread home to my kids. Of course, I couldn't help adding that I would see her at church on Sunday, though.

I have to say, this incident was irritating, but this person is not really someone who would have any influence on me. She has been spoken to about the situation by other people, and basically I just figure that her ignorance at this point is by choice. Nothing I would have said to her would have changed her mind anyway. Sometimes people will never get it. I understand and acknowledge that. She has attempted to spread things about my son in the past only to be told that what she was saying was wrong. I get so many positive comments about Micah and how well he is doing that for one person to still be negative about him is not really a big deal, it was just irritating at the grocery store. I don't even think that she will approach me at church because of all the others who will defend us there. If she does, however, I will be quite prepared to give a response as to why my son still goes to church. Do I want her to not be at my church anymore? No, just because she is a little slower than others, doesn't mean that she shouldn't be at church. I will love and accept her no matter what. Everyone needs love. Everyone needs God. God is Love. Amazing how that works.

"People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them." Mark 10:13-16

Ignorance irritates me

This morning I got really mad at someone I don't know. I was standing in line at the grocery store, and this lady notices that I have my "I voted" sticker on, and that my twins happened to have "I voted" stickers as well. She laughs and comments that they may as well be voting, since all she ever does in voting is vote yes for the odd propositions and candidates and no on the even ones. I held my tongue as I left the store because anything else that would have come out would not have been kind. That kind of ignorance really makes me wonder why she even voted at all. Did she just want the free coffee at Starbucks? Did she get time off of work to vote? What is the point?

It isn't just ignorance, it's laziness as well. The information to make an informed decision is out there, you just have to look for it. It takes time and effort to create an opinion, and people just don't want to do that. I know, I used to be one of them. I didn't vote for quite a while because I didn't want to take the time to find that information.

It irritates me that someone would really take the time to vote not knowing what it is that they voted for. Personally, if I don't have an opinion on something, I abstain rather than cast my vote one way or the other. If I don't know anything about any of the candidates for a certain office, then I just don't vote in that particular election. I would rather not "accidentally" cast my vote for someone or something that I disagree with. To vote without knowledge is worse than not voting.

So, here I am, mad at abuse of the democratic process. I voted. No, my kids didn't make my decisions for me (though Micah does have an opinion). The girls got stickers, but that was just for fun.

I'm also irritated at people who form their opinions based upon comedy. Anyone who gets their information about elections from John Stewart or SNL alone is really dumb. Sure, I watch sometimes for comedic value, but not to get my information. You can't even get unbiased views from the regular news media, much less from people who are paid to be entertaining.

If you are going to vote, use your brain. If you choose not to think, please, don't vote. I don't care if you are of a different opinion than me, you should at least have an informed opinion first before voting. Don't just vote for the free Ben & Jerry's.

"Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue."
Proverbs 17:28

One more thing. If you don't vote, I don't care what your opinion is on the president, or anything else that you had a chance to vote for. If you don't speak up when it actually counts, you obviously don't think enough of your opinion to do anything about it, so why should I care either?

Oh, but if you are too young to vote but still have an (informed) opinion, I do care, and I would rather hear your opinion than the above-mentioned loud mouths.

Halloween

Halloween is over! That sigh of relief as everyone was dressed happened first. All was well and the kids enjoyed their costumes. Ali and Zoe were ballerinas. That was an easy costume, I just took Becca's old tu-tus from dance performances that lots of money was spent on anyway, and put them on the girls. Tights and socks with ballet slipper designs on them that I found at the dollar store completed their outfits.
Becca was even easier. Last year someone gave her a fairy costume that was too big, and she hadn't worn it yet. she decided that she needed the pants and shirt under it, and other than that she just wanted body glitter.

Micah's first choice for costume when asked was to be a princess. After a long talk with my boy, he decided that he would be something else. We did an internet search for costume ideas, and he decided that he would be a clown or superman. No, you don't see either of those in the picture. After a search through Wal-mart to find all the stuff that he needed to be either of those, Tony decided that we shouldjust get him a dress up set from the toy section. Construction worker or policeman? Policeman was cheaper and it came with working walkie-talkies. The next day I asked Micah if he wanted to dress up in that stuff for halloween, and he said yes. I took a black shirt and put POLICE on the back in white tape. Suddenly I was a mom of a cop.

So this year we went to our church's harvest festival and stayed there all night. It was great. It was inside the gym, but they had food outside on the porch, where we have a playset for the kids to play. It wasn't crowded at the beginning, and the twins went around to play all the games. When they were done playing games, my mom took them out to eat hot dogs and play. Micah and Becca went back and forth all night long. I entered the pumpkin carving contest, even though I had never carved a pumpkin in my entire life, and I ended up winning. Ok, I won the adult division and I was the only adult who entered. Still, my pumpkin didn't look bad. I would have pictures, but I surrendered the camera to my mother, and she didn't take too many, and she didn't take any of my pumpkin. You'll just have to believe me.

We ended up with a lot of candy. Growing up I remember the day after halloween always being better because we didn't dress up, but we always hit the clearance afterwards. Since so many churches do their halloween alternatives now, it's nice to dress the kids up for pictures and get free candy. I did trick-or-treat once when Micah was a toddler. It was ok, but we get so much more candy at the church, plus it's safer and more fun to play the games.

One of the great things about being a parent is the fact that you make the rules about candy. Micah's diet makes for a great excuse to have to go through all the candy and divide it nicely. I get the opportunity to take my favorites out and hide them. Since any and all candy that enters my house is confiscated and distributed at the will of Mom and Dad anyway, the few that disappear aren't noticed anyway.

Our church ended up with 400 people coming to our Harvest festival. Considering the fact that we run less than 200 on any given Sunday in church, that was pretty good. We gave out a lot of candy, and we had a lot of fun.

I wish I had more pictures, but I had my video camera and my mom had her regular camera. I lost the cord to download my videos in July when we went to San Diego, so I don't have the videos to show, either. I'm bummed. My kids were cute. I need to get a new cord for my video camera.

Some things about me...

Well, I decided to write some random things about me today:

1. I play fantasy football with my husband and his family even though I hate the game of football. I really don't know why I play. I just do. I am really terrible at it. This season my record is wins: 1 losses:7. Yep, I stink. It would probably help if I actually watched the game instead of only going by the numbers, but I just don't want to. I learned a lot about the game without actually ever sitting through one this way, and it's funny how much communication is opened when you have this kind of common ground of sports.

2. I am totally addicted to Dr Pepper. I do go through withdrawals when I am broke. I never drank it while pregnant (well, only on special occasions) and since I plan to never be in that state again, I don't plan on losing this addiction. My husband and mother have in the past informed me that I shouldn't get off the stuff while they are around because I am really cranky. The only substitution that takes the edge off is Cherry Coke. This only works for a little while, though.

3. I have never read a comic book all the way through. It's true. I just hate the style of reading. I have skimmed through a couple of really old ones that my mother had when I was looking for substitutes for actually reading the classics in high school (the Tale of Two Cities adapted into comic book form...it worked, I got an A in that class). I know that seems odd if you have met my husband, but we make it work. He is a total geek. I have played some RPGs with him, though. My favorite was the Star Wars one, though making up my character in the JLA one was fun, too.

4. I hate the color pink. It bothers my eyes. Yes, I have 3 little girls, and the color is in my everyday life, but I just don't like it. Yeah, I was a tomboy when I was little, and my favorite attire is jeans and a t-shirt, but I think my dislike of this color really goes beyond that. I really can't look at it for that long without getting a major headache. Anyway, that's that.

5. I am horrible at organization. Really. I'm a mess. I know, if you have been to my house, you have probably been amazed at my lack of organizational skills. If you haven't, it's still probably pretty obvious. I know, I blame a lot on my crazy life and my kids, but it's really me.

That's all I can think of right now. So here is a random scripture:

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship." Romans 12:1

Health Matters

I recently found out some things about my health that are kinda disturbing. I went to get some tests done with my doctor. The results came back and I got a long letter of instructions about how I really have to change my diet. The next day I got a phone call from my doctor informing me that I really should be on medication, but she will retest me in 3 months to see if I can change my ways first (but she doubts it). So what is wrong? I have heart issues. My cholesterol is dangerously high and I have been having chest pains. It's bad. Basically my doctor told me that I am a heart attack waiting to happen. I have to lower my stress, exercise everyday, and lose red meat. My doctor actually told me that I should go vegetarian, but I'd rather take a pill. I can do without beef and stuff, but I need at least poultry.

So, I have another diet going on in my house. My mom should be doing this one too, so it really isn't that bad. She's diabetic, has high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and I don't know what else, so she really needs to have her diet better under control anyway. Micah's diet doesn't really go, but that's ok, I'm kinda used to that. Everyone around here will just have to get over the fact that we will be eating a lot of chicken and turkey and fish around here. More salads, too. Tony will be fine. He'll end up getting his beef elsewhere. Micah has been asking for meatballs, though. I make an awesome meatball that is safe for him, but there is no way that I will be able to make them for a while. Maybe I'll make some for his lunches or something, but not until I have a bit more self-control.

As for exercise, I am now walking Becca to school everyday. Tony can take Micah to school, and I walk Becca with all the girls with me. It was interesting this morning. I strapped Ali on my back (the lightest of the bunch), put Cassidy and Zoe in the double stroller, and Becca walked beside us. It's about a mile (maybe a little less), and so I really walk quick to get my heart pumping. I would walk to pick her up all the time, but that won't always work with the kid's schedules, so it will just be to school. If I need to increase my workout I'll just go walking later, or do some sort of workout at home in the morning with the girls.

I hope all of that works, because lowering my stress level isn't going to happen. I have decided that nursing school may not be right for me right now, though. I'm still going to school, but that kind of intense program isn't going to happen for me. I have no direction, though. That's really hard for me. I'm to the point in my education that I really have to choose something or get a degree in liberal arts and stay vague forever. Of course, what does one do with a liberal arts degree? So, I am praying for direction. I need to be able to take care of my family. I need flexibility in whatever job that I eventually get so that I can still be around for my kids, and yet a job that pays well enough for us to be able to allow my mom to retire or do whatever she wants without us relying on her. Still, I can't stress over that decision.

So that's me.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.
Do not be wise in your own eyes;
fear the LORD and shun evil.
This will bring health to your body
and nourishment to your bones."
Proverbs 3:5-8

What's next?

This week has been interesting...

Sunday night, as we were getting in the car to go home after church, Micah fell and hit his head. I had to take him in to the hospital. His eyes looked weird and he fell asleep in the car on the mile (maybe 2) long trip to the hospital. I ended up spending the night on a chair next to my son's bed trying to keep him from ripping the iv out. They did a CT scan and he's ok, but it was a scare.

I went home to my water being turned off, so I couldn't take a shower. Ugh. Then my son wouldn't go to the bathroom because he couldn't flush the toilet, so we decided it was time to go visit Grandpa's house.

We went home that night, put everyone to bed, and a few hours later I hear a very distinctive sound coming from the girl's bedroom. I had a sick toddler on my hands that night, a huge mess, and no water. Sheets and clothes went outside so we didn't have the smell of halfway digested food in our house, Zoe was changed a couple of times, and I was thanking God for baby wipes and Clorox wipes. I spent yet another night next to a kid who wasn't feeling well and not really sleeping.

Yesterday I fully intended to let the kids sit in front of the tv while I caught up on some rest, but then the water came back on, and I had some cleanup to do. This was interrupted by having to pick up Micah from school because he fell asleep at his desk and fell off his chair. I had a really angry 7 year old on my hands because he wasn't following routine, so cleanup lasted a lot longer than it should have. One of these days I will have order in my house, but that day still has yet to come.

This week I was really going to focus on potty training with the girls, that was postponed due to water issues, but the plan is back on. I just can't afford diapers anymore, and the girls are ready and just waiting on me to get them into panties. Cassidy is along for the experience as well. She is over this morning, and while the girls are all great friends, there are two-year-old issues all the time (Mine! No! Share!) and my house gets loud. Still, with the abundance of potty seats around here, toilet training is coming around. I just yawn through it.

I could use a nap. I could use a full night's sleep. I doubt I will get those any time soon.

I went to school last night and got a new assignment that should be fun. I have to restore an old photograph using photoshop. My grandmother is going to get me an old photo, and I hope it turns out well.

I have Christmas presents all figured out this year. I'm going to do pictures for everyone. My assignments have all turned out really well, so I'm printing them out on better paper and framing them. So family, no, you don't get to be surprised. Well, maybe you will be surprised by what picture you get, but that's what you are getting. I'm already spending a lot of time on these pictures, they may as well be useful.

So, that's what is happening around here, how has your week been?

"But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law who belonged to their sect complained to his disciples, "Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and 'sinners'?"
Jesus answered them, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance."" Luke 5:30-32

Wanna see someone cute?

These are pictures of Becca that my wonderful sister-in-law took of her right after she was a flower girl in my cousin's wedding. She is so cute!

Anyway, I just thought I'd share. That's about it!

Sundays

This morning I woke up irritated that I didn't have a Sunday School class to teach anymore. That feeling didn't leave until this afternoon. I felt bad every time someone told me that they missed me up in the youth department, and it's only been a week since I stepped down as a SS teacher. This was my first week in a long time that I have gone to church on a Sunday morning and not really had anything to do besides focus on worship and caring for my family.

I went to an actual adult Sunday School class and we had a perfectly wonderful discussion that I couldn't tell you what it was about. Not that Brian isn't a great teacher, I was just preoccupied. I tried to focus, and I even answered some questions. I hope it wasn't that noticeable that I wasn't really in the room. I was across the hall with my boy, wondering how he was behaving. I was up in the youth wondering who was doing their lesson this week, and how my girls were doing. I was wondering if they were excited coming back from the Revolve tour this weekend, and if anything happened that was worth mentioning. I really wasn't in the room.

The advantages of no longer teaching SS are important. I am now better able to handle the parent issues that come up (because it's rare to actually spot Tony on a Sunday morning unless you are 6th grade or younger). I free up time throughout the week when I would have been studying my lesson. I am apparently nicer in the mornings because I don't really HAVE to be at the church on time (that was pointed out to me this morning).

The disadvantages are that I miss my girls. I miss hearing what is going on in their lives and all the things that go with that. I still spend time praying for them all the time because I love them so much. It really bums me out not to be around them. They are such a blessing, even the ones who tend to be negative all the time. I just love them. I still hang out on Wednesday nights with them, but that is a smaller group. I miss the rest who just can't be there.

So, here I am being the responsible parent, giving my kids priority over my other ministries, as they should be, and I'm bummed. Still, I feel like I was there for my kids more this morning. I didn't feel like I was blowing them off because I had to fit in everyone else. I don't know if my kids noticed, though. As torn as I am, I still feel like it was the right decision. It just didn't feel good this morning.

Another update:

Maybe it's just that he hasn't been on the meds for long enough or something, but Micah is kinda spacing out more. His focus is off all the time. It's weird. This kid usually does a few sections in Awana a night, sometimes being a little off, but he didn't really focus and do anything this time. I'm kinda having my doubts with these meds. He's just out of it all the time. Yesterday afternoon he actually asked for a nap. He didn't completely follow through with that thought, and I wish he had. He just seems tired and hungry all the time. I knew that these were side affects, but I didn't think I'd get a sleepy eating machine. Still, he isn't hitting anyone. I'll be talking with his doctor again as soon as she calls me back, so hopefully I will have an anwer soon about all that stuff.

Here's a comforting yet at times kinda irritating for control freaks verse:

Proverbs 16:9
In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.

An Update and Sea World

Micah started his meds on the lowest dose possible, and that worked for the first two days. It didn't make him a zombie, which was my big fear. Still, the doctor told me to up his dose next week. On Tuesday night he accidentally went to bed without his medicine. Wednesday was horrific. We did not forget again. This afternoon when I picked him up he didn't have a sticker for being good at school, but there was a sub that I hadn't seen before, and the aid looked really frustrated with her. This aid has been with Micah since kindergarten, so she knows him well, and she is really awesome. She's usually pretty positive about everything, and I have rarely seen her without a smile. She was actually yelling at the sub to get a hold on one of the kids who is a major runner when I walked up to get Micah. She looked really mad. I don't think that Micah's lack of a sticker was entirely his fault today, though I didn't ask, I just got him out of there. Micah told me in the car that he wanted Mrs Carr tomorrow.

On a happier note, we went to Sea World to celebrate Micah's birthday on Saturday. That was really fun. Sea World is Micah's newest obcession. He will tell you everything about the park, what he likes to do there, and where he is going to go next time we visit. It's kinda a long drive to get there, about 2 hours in the car with all 4 kids, so we don't go very often. We got some good pictures in the car (like the one of Zoe that you see)

The twins get freaked out at the characters (even the Sesame Street ones), and Micah just doesn't care, so it's kinda funny that we still stop everyone for all of the guys dressed up in costumes just for Becca to get a picture and have the other 3 scream at us (Micah for not going where he wants to go, the girls because we are near a giant penguin).

This trip we went to pet the bat rays, which wasn't something that we had done before. The kids got really messy with this. Ali left that area covered in water. I don't think she could have gotten wetter if she had just jumped in with them. They really enjoyed it.

We also went on the tower, which the kids absolutely adored. Micah was so excited, I think we will end up spending money on doing that again. It actually costs $3.50 a person to go, but we had gotten some free passes when we bought our park tickets, so it didn't cost us anything. We got some decent pictures of Micah's favorite place, the Bay of Play. They aren't great, but he likes to look at them.

If you haven't been to Sea World in a few years, it's time to go, especially if you have young children. At the moment, it's my kid's favorite place. Ok, I'm done advertising for them.

There are so many things going on in my life right now, and I will blog about them later, but I really wanted to focus on a good day today. My last post was just too depressing. I don't want to live my life in a pity party. God is too good to me.

Life on the Spectrum

My son has become increasingly violent with little or no notice. We have resisted the use of drugs for him for a while now, but when my poor Ali came out of her room after a nap only to be attacked (she now sports a yucky bruise), I decided enough was enough. Every time I had tried to put him into the car to go somewhere he didn't want to go, every time something happened that he didn't like, someone has gotten hurt over the past 5 months.

The decision itself is tearing me apart. When I tell people who care what is going on, they tell me not to feel bad about it, but I do. It feels like a failure. I can't do enough for my boy. I feel like a horrible parent right now. Intellectually, I know that it is necessary and that I am just doing what he needs to function, but my heart just won't listen. I just feel failure.

I've never been the parent who gives their kid benedryll because the kid won't sleep. I don't even like to give my kids tylenol. I have always seen drugs as the last resort for anything. Behavior meds have always meant that the kid needs more consistant dicipline to me, and that if the parent would just try harder and be more comitted, the kid wouldn't need the drugs. So here I am. Consistancy is how we do things...to the point of boring. I have spanked, time-out-ed, positively reinforced, re-directed, and bribed my life away trying to figure out something that would work. My kids are all really well-behaved, except when something upsets Micah. It just seems like he doesn't know any other way to get his point across besides violence.

So, I gave him the drugs. Last night was his first dose. I cry when I think about it. This morning he woke up and has been so tired all day. I don't want a zombie. I want Micah back. The kid who used to try new things with numbers just for kicks. The kid who knows all of his multiplication tables and wants to learn more algebra. The kid who hacks onto my computer and deletes files because he thinks it's funny to empty the recycle bin (ok, I could do without that). The kid who tells knock-knock jokes when reciting verses in Awana. I want Micah. I just don't want my boy to be angry all the time. I don't want my girls to leave the room when he wants to play in there because they are afraid they will make a sound that he doesn't like and set him off. I want my boy back.

If you are inclined to look down on me for giving him this medication, honestly, I don't blame you. I've been there. Still, you don't know me if you think that I am doing this to make my life easier. Honestly, at the moment, it's only making my life worse. I'm hoping that it makes his life better, though. I hope it makes my girls' lives better. If it doesn't, then we will move on to something else. I don't think he will be on meds forever, and we will continue to do everything to work on skills that will help him should we take him off the medicine, but for now this is where we are.

Picture time!

This week I started on a cool project for photography class. I thought I'd share:
This is probably the most fun I've had with homework since I took speech. Yep, I loved that class. I'm odd, I know. Here's another shot, but I don't know if I will be able to use it for class. It's a good shot, but not really right for the assignment.
I don't actually like the class itself, but the assignments are fun. The instructor is kinda boring (though I don't know how to make camera equipment exciting, either). Also, since the class is really for anyone, we have to go slowly, step-by-step through everything like downloading pictures and how to crop and stuff. I know that stuff, so going through that so slowly is really irritating sometimes. Still, I understand the need to teach it slowly because there were people in the class getting lost still. I just got done with what I was doing and started to play with my pictures. It's nice to have the full version of photoshop at your fingertips. Still, I had to work with a Mac. Not that I have anything against Mac, I just don't know the OS like I do windows. I am still learning Vista on my mom's computer. My main problem is that I keep pressing the control key instead of the Apple key. It isn't really bad, though. It's probably the lack of a right click that really bothers me. Still, it just takes getting used to. The Photoshop stuff is really nice. I realized that I needed to change some settings on my camera to use some of it, though. Now I get why setting the quality really high is a good thing, though I probably won't use it after this class much because I don't have the money to spend on the cool programs to do all that stuff with the pictures. Not to mention the awesome printer to go along with it.
I still need to work on my project. I will probably be working less with my kids for the rest of it, though. They are not always the best models for getting my homework done. They are cute, though. Maybe I'll use some of their artwork for some of it. Hmmm...

So I was looking for a verse about pictures, and I saw an interesting verse in Ezekiel (8:10), but it really wasn't the right tone, and comlpetely out of context (but if you look it up, you will probably laugh). So I went to image, and here's a good one:
"Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.""
Genesis 1:26

What's going on?

Here I sit with my busted ankle watching cartoons with the twins, wondering when the last time was that I blogged. It seems like so long ago because of all the things that have gone on in the past week.

Monday morning I took my son into see the doctor because he woke up with his eye swelling up looking like Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame.
Except it's the other eye...and it was almost completely closed. I took him to his doctor and she kept going back and forth about wanting to admit him to the hospital it was so bad. She decided against admitting him only because the twins had an appointment with her the next morning, so she could observe him then. She gave him a strong antibiotic and sent us home with strict instructions to come back if he got worse.

Fast forward a few hours.

After dinner, Micah went to go play in his room and came out with his leg swollen up looking like his knee came out of socket. Rush to the emergency room only to find out that he had a couple of bug bites that didn't go well with the antibiotic. Benedryl and sleep. I wondered if he had gotten bit by something in his sleep near his eye, but in the morning, the eye swelled up bigger, and the bug bites were practically gone.

We went to the doctor on Tuesday for the twins, and they are fine...well the doctor kept saying how smart they are, pretty much because my barely two-year-olds can hold a full conversation with you. Still, she took one look at Micah and said I need to check him in and get a shot, and maybe admit him...again. Well, she didn't admit him, but told me to bring him back the next day.

Wednesday, Micah has a horrible headache when he wakes up, but his eye looks a little better. We go see his doctor again, and she says that he still needs another shot. Now, if you are a parent, you know that it's difficult for kids to get shots. Take that difficulty and multiply it by 10. It literally takes 4 people to give Micah shots, especially when he had one the day before. I have made the mistake in the past to play down the shot, but that wasn't happening again. The shot on Tuesday took 4 people (one at the head, two at the legs, one to give the shot), and I took the upper body so that I could tell him what was going to happen. We started with just me and the nurse, but quickly added help. Never underestimate the leg muscles of a bouncer. I told him that he was going to get shots and that it was going to hurt. I firmly believe in telling kids the truth, and when I told him in the past that it would only hurt a little, his tantrums lasted for a couple of days. So I told him it would hurt, but it was medicine to make his eye better so he could see again. He didn't like it, but at least he didn't hold my words against me forever.

Wednesday was worse because he knew how much it hurt, plus he already had a headache. It took 4 people again, but they were prepared. He didn't cooperate, but he didn't tantrum afterward.

I also had an appointment for myself that morning because of my ankle. I got a lovely shot to ease the pain that I had, and some better meds for all the time. I don't have to be either loopy or in pain now. I also don't have to have crutches. I have a walking boot cast thing. It comes off so I can shower, but it works like a cast. It's nice. I don't have to hobble around on crutches not being able to take my kids places by myself because I can't hold onto them.

This afternoon I have a meeting here at the house about Micah, so I should probably be cleaning, but I wouldn't be getting much of that done right now either because I keep having to answer the phone all the time.

What else happened? Micah looked good enough to go to school on Thursday, but he had a headache so did really bad. He was supposed ot be mainstreaming last week but we put it off to this week because of all the missed school. By Friday Micah felt better and did fine at school. This morning I got him to school and found out that there was a sub on his first day of mainstreaming. That's really not good. He really doesn't like this sub. I kinda understand, I don't like her either.

Becca has picture day today. She was very excited. She wanted her hair done like a cheerleader (pigtails), but I decided to do it different because her hair doesn't stay well in pigtails unless I use hairspray, and I just didn't want to do that. I put it up in her next favorite way, and she was fine.

Hmm...what else? AWANA started yesterday. I was running around all afternoon getting things ready. Unfortuanately, our order didn't come in before the beginning of club, so we didn't have all the materials. Still, our directors did what they could, and I was really impressed. Our AWANA staff is awesome. I give so much credit to them for being flexible under some bad circumstances.

What else happened? I went to a...interesting...bridal shower on Saturday for my cousin. Becca is going to be her flower girl. I wish I took her with me, at least I would have had something to do. It was...I don't want to say boring, but I can't think of another word. I knew the family there, but that was about it. The food was good, but I had heartburn later and my mom didn't feel real good. Still, I love my cousin, and went gladly to her shower. I even missed a baby shower for one of the girls who used to be in my sunday school class for her shower. That was kinda a bummer with those being on the same day and time, but I had to go to my family thing.

Well, that's my busy life lately. I did all that hopping around on one foot (well, I had the boot thing, but it sounds impressive to say I was hopping around).

Here's 1 John 4:13-18.

"We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."