Black Friday

Black Friday is coming, and while you may not recognize it as a holiday in your house, I certainly do. Every year I get my thrills from looking for the best price on certain items, searching the internet for leaks about the sales, and begin with great anticipation to make my list. Yup, it's my favorite holiday.

Black Friday is the only day of the year that I willingly acknowledge the time before the sun rises as part of the day. It's the only day of the year that I will willingly begin my day well before my children do. I'm not a morning person...at all...not even a little bit. Black Friday is not a normal day, though.

This year I have my plan, but no partner. My mother usually will go with me, but this year she is visiting my brothers for Thanksgiving. I'm kinda dreading going alone. Normally this is where I would make my husband get up and help me, but I can't do that because he has to watch the kids. Still, I will brave the lines and the people alone because there is no way I am going to miss it.

I have missed my favorite shopping day in the past. Sickness, visiting relatives, and various other things have kept me from hitting the streets, but this year there really isn't anything in my way except for lack of partner. This basically ruined my holiday season...well, not totally, but I did regret it.

This year there isn't really a whole lot on my list (mostly because I don't have a whole lot of money), but that doesn't stop me. I have literally gone in order to get a couple of $10 items before. I really just like the thrill of it all.

I know. I'm odd.

Every year I get out in whatever line that I happen to decided on and I think about what an awesome ministry opportunity it would be to go and serve these people coffee or something. One of these days I am actually going to do it. I'm pretty sure I would be blessed more than I would from getting a bargain. Each year I think about it and I think that I'll do it next year.

Another tradition that we have is that once I have finished my shopping craze (which doesn't usually last until noon like the sales do), my husband and I go out and people-watch. It's just funny to see all the people throwing elbows over some toy that their kid put on their wish list. To think that someone would actually care about something so insignificant is really amusing. I'm not the elbow throwing type. I just want to get in and get my cheap stuff, but if I don't get what I want, I'm not going to be upset about it. It's just stuff.

I remember going as a kid to the Black Friday events. It wasn't nearly as big of a deal back then as it is now. One didn't have to be up at 2 am back then. People weren't nearly as dangerous, either. I would squeeze my little way through the isles and get the coveted items. It was fun.

I would never take my kids with me today...ok, I did take the twins with me when they were very small babies, but I had one strapped to me and my mom had the other. They didn't take bottles, and I knew that I would need to feed them while in line, so they came. We went to Best Buy that year and avoided the fist fight that erupted and anyone who looked like they might throw an elbow. I still got the stuff that I wanted that year...well, not all of it, but I didn't really care about the stuff as much as the safety of my babies. Still, I wouldn't take my kid to squeeze through the mob. It just isn't safe anymore.

I really developed my love for shopping on Black Friday events when I was younger. It was really the only girly thing that I could claim. My mom and I would shop and I would sniff out the best deals. It's still something that we do together. One day Becca will join in. She does love to shop, but for totally different reasons. She's pink and frilly and all about trying things on like she's playing dress up. I'm all about finding the bargain. She's learning that stuff, too. She just had to get some math skills first. I'm sure when she is a bit older I will introduce her to Black Friday. When she has more self-defense skills mastered.

I can't wait. Thanksgiving will be a day filled with food, family, and football. I don't mind the food, I love my family, and I am learning to endure football. I will be thankful...then the next day I will shop!

Night Time

As I sit here at 11-ish on a Sunday evening I begin to reflect on my evenings and nights lately.

I am really busy.

Sundays are busy all day. We have church activities pretty much all day from morning to bedtime.

Mondays I had a really great Bible study that I decided recently (today, though I have been praying over it for over a week) to quit because of how busy I am.

Every other Tuesday evening (or pretty close, it's the 1st and 3rd Tuesdays...so almost every other Tuesday) I have what is called "Girlfriend Time" at our church. It's like a Bible study, but we chat a lot and do girly stuff. I know, not really my thing usually, but it hasn't been horrible, and I'm trying to be supportive and get to know some other women in the church. Since that isn't every week, I really hadn't been counting it (plus it's only been going on for like a month or so). Still, it really is on the schedule, so I should count it.

Wednesday evenings I spend with our church youth group. I have the awesome opportunity to help lead young people to Christ, and/or a deeper relationship with Him and every Wednesday is a blessing. I really don't want to quit that, and honestly, I really feel God has called me there to stay. He keeps calling me back every time I try to quit, so I'm probably there for the long haul.

Thursdays, our family has joined a "Life Group". It's basically another Bible study. This time for the whole family...well all the family goes, but the kids go and hang out while Tony and I have a Bible study for us. I don't know that I have gotten a whole lot out of it besides getting to know some new people a lot better. The kids enjoy going and hanging out. Still, I don't know how long Tony will last going. He's not really the social type and I think it's starting to get to him.

Fridays and Saturdays Tony and I (if we aren't completely exhausted from the rest of the week) have our dates or shove in other activities that may want to do. We have family time before the kids go to bed and then Tony and I might go out if my mom is home to watch the sleeping kiddos.

Do I seem kinda busy? I really like being busy, so that really isn't a problem. I am also only talking about the evenings, the rest of the time I am doing all the SAHM stuff. I felt kinda bad about leaving the Monday night thing until I really looked at my schedule. My kids aren't really suffering for the schedule, because really they only do Thursdays and most Wednesdays...though they really don't have to do the Wednesdays. Tony is home with the kids the rest of the time, and he is with them if they go to church on Wednesdays. What I didn't like was spending most of my evenings away from my husband. I actually like the guy. I want to be around him, not just tag him "it" as I run out the door and he comes in. I really do see Tony, though. He and I are usually up late and hang out together after whatever activity we have is over. We are both usually pretty tired, but we spend our time together anyway.

Still, I'm praying over lightening the load. So far God really hasn't given me a clear picture of what He would have me drop. I'm waiting and listening. I dropped my Bible study on Mondays because He led me to do so, so that may be enough. I look around and notice some stuff at home that could probably be done during my busy times, but then, I'm home all day, I could probably do it then, too. I don't know. I was hoping for a peace when I made the decision to drop Monday nights. It hasn't come. I'm waiting and listening. Maybe something else will have to drop.

Halloween Pictures

I just had a little fun with the Halloween pictures. Enjoy!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Imaginary Friends

Should I find it irritating or encouraging that my daughters' new imaginary friends are called "My Pink Mommy" and "My Purple Mommy"?

It's been really kinda annoying. "I was talking to my pink mommy!" is often heard around here. Yesterday Ali got in trouble and I heard "but my pink mommy said I could have some!"

Grr.

Becca's imaginary friend was a teenager named Crispy. She lived in Mexico. She rode on her skate board to visit Becca. She still shows up every once in a while, but not very often now that Becca has so many school friends.

I thought I would get around the imaginary friend thing with the twins because there are two of them to play together. Little did I know that they still needed scapegoats. They don't tend to blame each other for things, though they will blame Becca or Micah for anything. The pink and purple mommies are the way to get around it, I guess. They know that they have to obey me, but they figure that if they make up another parental figure that will let them do things, they are ok.

They are just too smart for their own good.

Birthdays...

I was looking back on my blog for this year and noting that I didn't blog about any of the birthdays that have happened recently. I'm probably not going to get around to it...but I was pondering birthdays, so this blog is about that.

I had to have this pointed out to me when the twins were born, but there is an interesting order in my kiddos birthdays.
July 23
August 24
September 25

Cool, huh? Makes it easier to remember them all. I just have to remember the months. For a person like me, who rarely remembers numbers, that is really important. Of course, another birthday that fits the pattern is my mother-in-law's. Her birthday is October 26th. My sister-in-law (my brother's wife) has the same birthday. Awesome that I don't have to think hard to remember that. Certain birthdays stick in my head because of their dates.

Another is August 30. I know several people with that birthday. It's kind of weird how many people I know with that birthday. Facebook alerts me to this upcoming birthday, and the list is really long.

I guess birthdays were a bigger thing around me this year because of the Disneyland thing. Something free at Disneyland is amazing, so a lot of people have taken advantage of that. I did. I got a season pass on my birthday (for the discount) then took each of my kids and my husband for their birthdays. It was nice. I'm the only one of us with a season pass, and I probably won't use it much anymore, but it was cool to be able to take everyone. Too bad the twins aren't free anymore, or we would be going more often just the three of us.

Most years I don't really care about my own birthday. This year was a little different with turning 29...for the first time. Not that I plan on staying 29, but too many people use that age over and over. I don't get it. There really isn't anything spectacular about being 29. Maybe it has something to do with not being in the 30's though. Is there something wrong with being 30? I guess I'll know when I get there.


Tony turned 35 last week. He took the day off so that we could go to Disneyland, then his sister decided to scare us and try to have her kid that day. We spent half the day deciding whether or not we were actually going to go or if we were going to stay and see the baby if he came. We ended up going. It was good, but crowded. Odd that it was crowded on a Wednesday, but apparently, according to my friend that works there, it's been crowded constantly lately. Still, being just Tony and I, we weren't rushed to get to everything, and it was kind of relaxing to stand in a line with just him and I.

The next day my nephew was born. Tony's sister had a beautiful baby boy...kinda early. He had a few complications, being just under-baked, but he went home from the hospital today, finally. I'm feeling like the lame aunt that doesn't have any pictures, but I'll be taking some later. I always hate taking pictures in a hospital. They never turn out right. The lighting is yucky, and I always feel like I'm disturbing someone. I decided to wait until I go see him when he's at home. It will probably be a week or two, unless my SIL calls me because she needs something or she's bored. His parents have a few birthday (real birthday pictures), so mine really aren't necessary anyway. I'm going to make him some pirate pictures. I'm trying to figure out a good way to get a tattoo on him for a picture. Maybe I'll just add it after the picture. I don't want to mess up his skin. The kid has too many issues without my messing with him for a picture.

Supermommie vs. Lady Laundry

While doing some laundry today, my mind began to wander...

If I really was a superhero, who would be my nemesis? Lady Laundry!

I have no ideas for stories yet, however, I am open to ideas...

Laundry is the never-ending cycle that everyone battles eventually, unless you are a nudist or something...or maybe if you only have one set of clothes...still, even if you only had one set of clothes, you would have to wash at some point.... Anyway, my point is that Lady Laundry would have to be especially gross in order to be a real super villain.

One can battle this enemy by sending it to the cleaners, hiring someone else to do it, or many other wimpy ways, but Supermoms just buckle down and do it. Ok, some days I'm not really a Supermom. This got me thinking of a side kick...a maid or something...I haven't really decided. Still, this way I could remain a super hero, and still get the assist.

Today I was doing an especially vile load (accident in bed...not the worst, but it isn't pretty). I also had the regular volume of clothes that is big, just simply because 7 people live in this house. It made me think...if I actually made a comic book with Lady Laundry as the villain, it would have to be scratch-and-sniff just to get the full effect. Plus Lady Laundry needs to be huge.

Do you have a picture in your head yet? I don't blame you if you don't. I'm kind of a geek, so this line of thinking really isn't abnormal for me. It makes my life just a bit more fun and takes the mundane task of laundry and makes it something completely different. Something more fun. Something geeky. Something a bit more me.

Cloudy with a Chance of...something...

Last night, Tony and I went to the movies and saw Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.

Not that I should have to say this because it is a movie, and a cartoon, but if you apply any sort of reality to this, you might find yourself tossing your cookies...and I don't mean the ones that fall from the sky. Just do yourself a favor and don't think of reality at all. If you are like me, you tend to think things like "what would it be like if this really happened..." Don't do it!

I was afraid to see this movie with Tony because it's based off of his favorite children's book ever. Whenever a movie is based on someone's "favorite" anything, I'm leery of going with them to see it. Expectations are really high, and it's difficult to watch it just for fun without analyzing it. Leaving the theater, Tony just kept saying "loosely based on the book." My argument was that the book just doesn't have the exensive plot that is necessary for a decent movie, and it certainly didn't have the characters for an hour and a half of entertainment. The ideas of the book were all there, and really, the storyline in the movie is basically an extension of the storyline in the book. It wasn't like it conflicted with the book.

I thoroughly enjoyed the movie...except when the mom in me showed it's ugly head and I thought of how horribly unsanitary the whole thing was. I think the worst part for me was the man-eating baked chickens. I almost had to leave the theater. It was just gross.

The one question I had was why the rat-birds? Every other invention that the main character, Flint Lockwood, came up with had some purpose. Why rat-birds? What purpose would those ugly things have? Spread disease faster?

The movie was enjoyable, however, and I will likely be taking my kids to the drive-in to see it tonight. Well, probably just Micah and Becca. It was clean and entertaining, and I'm sure that the kids will love it.

Awesome IEP Meeting

Yesterday I had an IEP for Micah, and I'd have to describe that experience as absolutely awesome. The team met for the first time since starting at the new school for Micah's annual review. There were so many things that went right. I had never met the speech therapist before this meeting, and he was great. He recognized Micah's intelligence and ran with it. I didn't feel like I had to convince him that Micah really could accomplish more. Micah obviously had shown him what he could do very well, and the goals that he came up with for Micah were very similar to my own goals for Micah. In the past, I have always had to tell them how much more my son is really capable of, but that really wasn't the way things were this time.

Micah's teacher is new, and this was her first IEP meeting. She did very well. My favorite thing about this teacher is that she is like a sponge for information. She asked me so many questions about Micah, recognizing that I really did know Micah better than anyone else there. She also recognized Micah's intelligence and her goals were very appropriate.

The principal was awesome. She told me of different incentive programs that they do for the whole school and asked many questions about how Micah could be involved with these things. She was very open to making sure that Micah was mainstreamed as much as possible. She told me that Micah has been her buddy and they have bonded in the many times that she visited his class.

Mainstreaming for math is going really well. His regular ed teacher really enjoys having Micah in his class and Micah is keeping up with the rest of the class. The aid from Micah's classroom actually goes with him to the class, so there are no problems like last year where we had to come up with someone new to go with him to assist if necessary. He actually goes with a couple of other kids from his class, and his teacher doesn't have any problems with giving up her aid for that short time (probably because Micah's class is so much smaller than his class last year).

I'm really excited about this year in Micah's class. He is doing so well, and I have a good enough relationship with the staff involved so I think that we really can tackle any problems that come up. I had been worried because the beginning of the year was so rough. He had to change teachers from the one that we had prepared him for. He changed rooms, the school didn't have their act together when it came to the services that were on the IEP. It was really rough. Now they are really on the ball.

Waffles Part 3

Trader Joe's is back on the happy list, even without banana waffles.

First of all, my wonderful husband took the plain waffles that I had bought at TJ's (still gf/cf) and offered them to Micah this morning for breakfast calling them "new waffles." Now, if I had been the one who offered him something calling it "new," Micah would have thrown a fit. Daddy is another story. Daddy can offer him anything and it will automatically be cool. I think one of Daddy's jobs that will forever be his is breakfast.

Tony also sent an email to Trader Joe's, not a complaint, Tony just doesn't do that, but a letter telling them of our concern. This is his letter:

Comments: I was recently informed of the decision to discontinue the
banana flavored gluten/casein free waffles. This item has been a staple
in our family for the last 5 years when my son started his gluten
free/casein free diet to help control his autism. They really have been
a life saver.
When I heard they were discontinued, a point of stability in my son's
life was discontinued with it. It would not be uncommon for our outside
freezer to be filled with boxes of waffles.
I know as a corporate decision, probably based off of sales, it would be
near impossible to bring them back, so I would like to thank your
company for being there with some of the best products for my son for
the last 5 years and look forward to shopping with you in the future.
If the banana waffles return, there will be much rejoicing in my house
and if they do not, we will still be happy with the products you do sell
(like the regular gf/cf waffles.) Thank you for your time, Tony
Escarzaga

Their response was very quick. Tony sent them that message at about 4:30pm on Wednesday, and he received a response at 10:30 this morning. Very awesome. This was their response:

Hi Antonio,

We are sorry to hear that we have discontinued a favorite product of
yours.

At this time the Trader Joe's Banana Waffles have been discontinued due
to slow sales in all our stores. We will forward your comments and
request to bring this product back to our Buying Department and that
will be taken into future consideration.

Many thanks,

Nicki K.
Customer Relations
Trader Joe's


Obviously they get a number of the "bring it back!" letters, and this was probably pretty automated, but still I am happy about the quick response.

I probably wouldn't have been nearly as happy if Tony hadn't convinced Micah to eat the "new waffles" though.

I'm still not happy with the change in price that I have to pay for Micah's breakfast (the new waffles are a bit more pricey), but it's not the huge amount that I would have to pay for them elsewhere. Still, it is probably time for Micah to be a bit more open with his eating habits anyway. Once we are over this hurdle, I think we will work on his obsession with taquitos...

Waffles Part 2

This morning went well...

Micah didn't mind the substitute of gf/cf pancakes this morning for breakfast. Not too much of a surprise since he has had them before when I have run out of waffles and not had time to go to TJ's. He didn't get through day, however, without asking for waffles.

I know, it sounds odd, but he saw that I went to TJ's (he saw the bags) and he assumed that I would have waffles. Since he didn't have any this morning, he asked for another fave: peanut butter and jelly sandwich on banana waffles.

The meltdown began. It doesn't look like we will be getting any homework done this afternoon, and he had a minimum day at school today. So far he has screamed and thrown things and cried. I offered (before the fit really got into gear) the plain waffles and he said that they were Becca's. He wanted the banana smell. He knows that if they smell like bananas, they are on his diet (I haven't ever bought any regular banana flavored waffles). He doesn't like having things off his diet. I'm pretty sure he doesn't feel good when he accidentally gets gluten or casien. I had him read the box, but it didn't work.

I thought I had him calmed down after giving him a snack of a different kind, but then I decided to ask him to do his homework...apparently he wasn't all the way calmed down.

Now he is laying on the floor screaming. His life is disrupted. I blame Trader Joe's.

Waffles

For those of you who don't know, my son, Micah is on a special diet, and has been on this diet since he was 3. He is gluten-free and casien-free (huh?). This brings a calm to my family that just wouldn't exist without this diet. Micah used to have meltdowns (a tantrum x 10) that would last for 8 hours. Those 8 hours would be screaming fits of rage that he just wasn't able to control. Enter GF/CF diet: tantrums now last about an hour, and they only happen about once a week (unless something happens out of routine or just basically not Micah's way).

So you see why I do it. It's difficult, expensive, and time consuming. It's also totally worth it.

Still, that's not really why I am writing today.

Today I went grocery shopping. Trader Joe's is on my list of stores that I go to (because I can't find everything in one store). I love Trader Joe's. It's a store where I would shop for most of my grocery needs if I could afford it. The main reason why I go there once a month, though, is for the waffles.

Micah has always wanted waffles for breakfast. He used to eat Eggo's for breakfast every day before the diet. It was routine. So when I put him on the diet, I looked for a replacement waffle that would be a reasonable price. I looked and looked. I just couldn't justify paying 5 bucks for each box of waffles, so I tried making them myself. I discovered that I hate making waffles.

When I discovered Trader Joe's Banana Waffles, I was overjoyed. Two dollars a box. I could do that. I took them home and Micah loved them. Score! I could survive! I would be able to keep him on this diet and not lose my mind!

Today, however, something horrible happened. My life shifted. No more Banana Waffles? NOOOOO!

I was told that the product was discontinued. I wanted to cry. If I had known this last month I would have gone and bought every box in every store in my area. Now I dread tomorrow morning, when my son awakens to a day without his waffles.

The Birthday Party Plans

Since my kids are all born around the same time, I have decided that I am only going to plan one big party a year and they will take turns. That's the plan so far, anyway...we'll see what happens later.

This year belongs to Ali and Zoe. They are having a princess party and inviting friends.

So if you know me at all, you know that I am not the princess type. This causes some issues for my daughters when things like this come up. I just don't come up with pink and frilly ideas. I do, however, have pink and frilly friends! My friend Judith has been a lifesaver in this planning process!

While my mom and I were shopping one day we found these little favors for a princess party, and the girls just adored them. They have little tiaras and rings and wands...everything sparkly for all your princess needs.

I was so stressed out about all of the things that I normally do that I just couldn't do. I always make my kids' birthday cakes, but I really can't bake right now. I tried to get the right location, but the price wasn't right...and then it wasn't even available. I have had to move the date and time for this thing 4 times. I'm set now. I don't know anything that would make it move now.

My mom is a cake genius, and when she said that she would make the cake, I was so relieved. I don't know what her idea is yet, but I don't care, it will look great, I'm sure.

I had a not so original idea for food. I have always served hamburgers and hot dogs for parties, but for various reasons, that isn't going to be an option. I'm thinking of doing some little sandwiches and cutting them out with cookie cutters in a tiara shape (or another princessey shape, depending on what I find when I go to Michael's or wherever I end up shopping for the rest of this stuff) I saw something similar on the cover of a magazine one time, so I thought I would give it a try. That and fruit and maybe some chips and lemonade and we are set.

So what do you do with a bunch of 3ish year-olds for a party? Well, they want a pinata (how do you make that little mark over the n? I have no idea...whatever), so that is one thing for them to do. They will also be at a park where there is a playground, but Judith came up with another idea. She and our young friend, Bailey are going to paint faces and make all the girls into princesses for the party. Ribbons in hair, sparkles, and all kinds of fun. Other than that, I will have some princess coloring pages for just in case.

That's about it. I figure that will be plenty. The kids all play together and have fun.

The other thing that I am worried about is that they want to invite some boys...I'm not worried for the reason that I would be worried if they were turning 13 instead of 3, I just don't think that a boy would like this party...

The party is on a Sunday afternoon, and the Saturday before we are going to Disneyland. We have to go before the girls turn 3 one more time as a family because of the other kid's tickets, and that is the only day that we have available. The thing is, that will be a really busy weekend for me. I'm getting tired just thinking about it. Saturday Disneyland, Sunday morning church, that is the day of the ministry fair right after church, and then the party. I'm thanking God for my mom, because she will be a huge lifesaver for me. She will be baking the cake on Saturday, and then making sure things are ready while Tony and I are at the ministry fair. Oh, I am so thankful for her.

There you have it. Those are my plans. Are they going to survive? We shall see!

Summer Pictures

Micah and Becca go back to school tomorrow. I thought I would take the time to post some summer pictures. They like to look through them with me.

Make a Smilebox slideshow

So much fun. I am going to school with Micah tomorrow since I haven't met his teacher and it is a brand new school. I'm praying that all goes well and he enjoys his teacher and new school. Becca will be fine. Yesterday we went to the school to look at the teacher and room assignments that they had posted. She doesn't know the teacher, but she knows a couple of kids in the class with her. Her good friend from last year isn't in class with her, though. Unfortunately, her friend got into the class with the teacher Becca really wanted...I hope that doesn't cause drama on the playground...I'm sure I'll hear about it all.

The Song That is Stuck in My Head

Thanks to my dear hubby for all the work that he has done lately to stick all kinds of dumb songs in my head.

Ok, there were some good ones, too.

Tony has been working on a project that he has wanted to do for years: writing parodies. Here is one that he made into a video:



He has been quite inspired lately and has stayed up late at night singing to the computer.

The song that has really stuck in my head lately, however, is not by my husband. It is the new Weird Al song, Skipper Dan. It's really, really sad. Not that I cried or anything, but I could have if I was that kind of person. I wonder as I plan for our trip to Disneyland this Thursday for Becca's birthday how much this song will come up in my husband's inevitable conversations with the people who work there. He likes to talk to the people who work the rides. He tends to remember their names, too. It really bothers me when later on in a conversation with me he will refer to a person who drove the tram or something by their first name. I have no idea who he is talking about...ever. Not that I don't see these people as people or anything, but striking up a conversation with them just never occurred to me until I started going places like that with him.

To be perfectly honest, I would probably never have listened to Weird Al if it weren't for Tony. There are a lot of things that I have experienced in my life that I wouldn't have without Tony, though. Some important and life changing, some annoying and I could definitely do without. Tony makes my life complete. I have to have the odd to balance me...hahaha! I'm not balanced! I was odd well before Tony...well maybe not before him, I did meet him when I was like 5. I don't think I was all that odd of a 5 year old... Maybe it is Tony's fault! :-)

Anyway, I just thought I'd share my pain...hope this stuff doesn't get stuck in your head.

Behavior Therapy

Over the last couple of weeks Micah and I have been subjected to a behavior therapy assessment that turned out to be a complete waste of time.

The therapist who came out said that my son was too well behaved for their one-on-one program, and though she wasn't sure I needed it, offered to recommend to the regional center (who is paying for this program) their parent training class. She actually asked me at one point why I was asking for this service.

Maybe I should have left Micah off his meds for a couple of days instead of just the mornings of the assessment sessions. I just couldn't deal with him beating on his sisters and me while he is out of school. The poor kid would spend his life in time-out. It just seems mean to me.


I guess I'm just beating the wrong bush. Micah's behavior problems are not really prevalent at home. I did everything I could to provoke him at home, and it worked, all the way up until the therapist showed up. Micah turned to smiles and laughter. We tried making him lose at board games (something that usually drives him nuts). I tried letting him play Wii for a couple of minutes and then taking it away as the therapist came. He transitioned quite well.

I'm convinced that he knew what was going on and was trying to thwart me.

The problem is that the assessment will be sent to the regional center who will no longer believe that my son is in need of...anything.

Not that I would try to get a service that my son doesn't need. Right after the therapist left Micah would go into a full blown tantrum throwing chairs and hitting anyone who came near him, screaming the entire time.

Yeah, it wasn't pretty. It happened twice.

Normally he is quite good at home. His behaviors tend to come out at school. I did do a whole lot of provoking, though. His timing was perfect. He accomplished what he wanted. Nothing in his world had to change. The fact that he did it without meds tells me that he has the ability to control himself without them, or at least with less in his system. He just doesn't want things to change.

That just makes me want to change things up a bit.

I don't know what I'm going to add to my expectations yet, but it's coming. He's just to comfortable where he is at. Not that I want my son to be uncomfortable, but he isn't functioning "normally" yet, so being stagnant is not acceptable.

Well, when school begins again on August 4th he will be at a new school with a new teacher (the one he had before was the teacher he had since kindergarten). Church is about to change around the same time. I don't think I'm going to change anything yet, just in case there is trouble adjusting there. Still, once that becomes the new routine, I'll be looking for something to change at home.

Summer Begins

Does it seem to you that every other mom of school aged children who blogs take a break right after their kids get out and then when a few weeks go by feel bad about it, or is it just the blogs that I read? Well, maybe I just don't relate to those women who are so put together that they can still schedule their kid's new found time and continue to stay connected with people in a more than tweet-like way.

Anyhoo. My kids are out of school. I have pictures. They are here somewhere. Becca graduated from Kindergarten. I took pictures, I know I did. I made it a point to go to this graduation thing. Somewhere there are photos...I will find them...I just don't see them on this computer...that's not good. Maybe they were just uploaded to Snapfish and just didn't get loaded on the computer...I don't know.

I also have more pictures. I went camping with the kids without Tony last week. Ok, some people are making fun of me because they don't think I was really camping. I didn't say I was "roughing it," I said I was camping. I slept in a sleeping bag...on a futon in an air conditioned cabin. We were in the mountains...at a resort. We went fishing...in a man-made lake that they stocked with catfish. Not that I actually fished, and not that my kids caught anything. I wasn't going to give them a hook. Those things are dangerous. Not to mention the fact that I don't want to have to clean the things and they aren't old enough to do it themselves.

We went swimming at this resort-thing. Well, it was actually a camping-resort thing that our friends who we camped with own into. It was fun. I hadn't gone swimming since I have been out of the hospital, so it was a different experience. I had a little trouble figuring out balance again when I got out of the water, but the freedom while I was there was fantastic.

Throughout that week I really focused on trying to walk on my own. It worked. I still use a cane, and I keep the wheelchair in the car just in case, but I really haven't had to use it much except when I went to the mall with my brother, his family and all my kids on Monday after the 4th.

Speaking of the 4th, for that weekend, we all (the kids and I, and Tony for part of the time) went out to my in-laws new house in Hemet. Yeah, my kids were already tired from camping all week, and we went to their house. I guess it wasn't the greatest of ideas, but the kids weren't too bad. We went to their church out there for their celebration, but Micah and the twins were not up to staying around for the fireworks, and neither was I. We went back and watched Empire Strikes Back. It has fireworks at the end, right? Ok, the kids didn't really care about the movie, and they were asleep for the fireworks part, but that was fine with me. Becca had stayed with her Grammy for the fireworks display that they watched from Grammy's church. She was tired, but enjoyed herself.

Today is the second part of an assessment for Micah to take part in a behavior therapy program. I have to irritate my son this afternoon in front of a therapist so that she thinks that he has issues still, and so that she sees how I deal with it. I don't know if it's worth it, but I'm going to do it anyway. He's been pretty irritable since school let out anyway. I can't wait for August 4th. Does that make me a bad mom?

I think that's all caught up. One of these days I'll find pictures, take the ones that are still on the camera off, and make a slide show. Maybe after the kids go back to school...maybe a summer in review or something. In the meantime, I'm enjoying my kids.

If You Give a Deacon a Hospital Visit...

Have you ever read that book, "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" by Laura Numeroff ? It's a really good book. You should read it. Well, I am having a mouse/cookie experience.

While I was in the hospital, many of the deacons at our church came and visited me. It was nice. They came and prayed.

When it was time to come home from the hospital, I was asked if there was anything that I needed. Yep. I needed a ramp to get into my home. Not that I asked. I thought that my mom and husband were handling it. They tried. They got something that worked for right then, and we were ok.

A couple of the deacons found out about our make-shift ramp, and decided to make me a new one. Hooray!

They decided to paint it. The paint that they had, they had a whole lot of this grey color. They offered it to me so that I could paint my house.

The next day I found out that they decided to paint it for me.

These guys started to prep, and ended up deciding that they needed to fix the door to my converted garage. They decided to build me a new one.

They began to scrape around to prep for the paint, and they found out that a couple of my windows weren't put in properly. They fixed them.

The list just keeps going and going.

One of these days they will decide that they are done. Until then, these men will be here helping my family out.

Aren't I blessed? I have to figure out how to thank them. I just don't see anything that I could do that seems adequate. I pray that God blesses each of these men in a special way.

Hug and Cheese

Instructions:

1. Point camera at my twins
2. Say the words "hug and cheese!"
3. Take picture

This is the result:



I know, it's kind of silly to train your kids to do these things, but it's really cute and rather entertaining on a kind of yucky day.

The day was long. I declared it everyone's day off (meaning me and the kids, Tony still went to work) and I tried to make it the least stressful day possible. I didn't want anyone doing chores, and I really wanted to relax.

It was a good thing I planned this in advance because the kids all woke up with fevers. The fever went away with tylenol, but still, it was obvious that there was sickness in the house of some sort.

Now, my kids aren't really good at being sick. Well, maybe they are, they are just not really good at showing that they are sick. Yeah, that's it. If they are sick, they are still likely to run around and play. They just pause every once in a while for the symptom (cough, sneeze, throw up, etc.). Today was no different. They coughed every once in a while, but unless you had felt their fevers earlier in the day, you would never have known that they had more than just allergies.

So when I decided to take a few pictures, I ignored the fact that they might have a little bit of booger residue still left on their faces (because I'm a lousy mom...or at least a lousy nose wiper...especially when there are 4 noses to keep up with).

Anyway, the point is: aren't my girls cute? Ignore the boogers.

Will This Day End Already!

The morning started out crummy. First of all, I had to wake up, which is never a good thing.

I know, I'm so tortured!

The twins were in one of those "I'm going to turn 3" moods, and they disagreed with me on basically anything that I was willing to do for them. "Please lay down so I can change you into panties" became "You may not run around the house naked!" within a minute.

They are normally so obedient...but they are turning 3. The evil age.

They didn't want me to pick out their clothes. This is totally fine with me, even if their clothes don't really go together. I don't care what they wear as long as they aren't naked. The problem was that they wanted to wear the same shirt. Neither of them ended up getting it because they ended up ripping it during the struggle over who gets it.

I'm confined to my wheelchair due to the fact that I had over worked myself the previous day, and I couldn't trust myself to stand. I sit there watching the struggle, and found myself blessed by the shirt ripping so that they had a built-in consequence for their actions. When they took their time-outs for fighting, I searched for clothes that they would not argue about.

I decided it was a good day for couch potato lessons.

The girls glued themselves to the TV, while I kept having to answer the phone. All important phone calls, too. I couldn't just hang up. Well, my grandmother didn't call for anything important, but I couldn't just hang up on her.

My plans to put dinner in the crock-pot never made it that far. A phone call from Social Security about my son, a phone call from his Regional Center worker, a call from Becca's coach about the plans for the end of the season party, and the never-ending phone call from my grandmother took care of all my time this morning.

I started a PB&J lunch when I heard the girls begin to argue over which character they were on the show (they like to act it out as they watch) and the TV ended up having to be turned off. Bummer. They came into the kitchen and asked to help. Fine. I let the girls spread their own peanut butter. Then came the argument over the jelly. There is no way that they will agree on a jelly, and the one that I took out just wasn't what they wanted (who's idea was it to have multiple flavors of jelly open? I never do that! Leftovers from when I was out of commission).

Finally, I get the girls fed, and they play in their room for a little while. Two time-outs (each) later, it is time to pick up Micah and Becca from school.

I got to the school ok, but I was running late, so I didn't take my wheelchair with me. I just had my cane. Apparently, there was an assembly that everyone knew about but me, and there is not a parking spot anywhere near the school.

Great.

I got the girls out of the car in my parking spot a block away, and I start walking with them. An argument over who holds my hand starts, and I end up getting knocked over. Pain. Lots of pain.

I stand (barely) just in time to meet Micah's bus (he gets dropped off by Becca's school) and look up to see that he got a sticker at school. Hooray! Micah was good at school! Think it will continue through the afternoon?

I'm still in pain, but I make it over to the point where I am supposed to pick up Becca and sit down on the grass. Praying that there are no ants around (I'm allergic), I sit while Micah and the twins run wild on the grass outside Becca's school. I see the scowls from the parents around me when my kids scream and run around, but I don't care. I'm not a bad parent, I'm a parent who is in extreme pain.

At this point, I have already called Tony and asked him to come get me. I know it's only a few blocks, but I just couldn't drive home. He ended up taking the rest of the afternoon off. We got home and he wheeled me inside and ordered me to bed. I'm thankful.

I got up at dinner time when my mom started asking what I wanted to eat. Well, I wanted the stuffed bell peppers that I was going to put into the crock pot this morning. Still, it was already dinner time. We decided to try this stuff that we had a sample of at Costco. It was good, and Micah-safe, and fast.

Tony had to take Becca to her T-ball closing ceremonies tonight, so I'm up for the evening. Micah was playing Wii after dinner, and he got stuck and wanted help. I just don't do that. He is better than I am at most video games, and when I mess up, I end up with a tantrum on my hands. I told him that he had to figure it out or wait for Daddy. He didn't like that. I ended up with the tantrum anyway.

After a rather long screaming fit, I turn to find the twins getting into toothpaste and decorating the bathroom. After a scrubbing, I send them to bed. I just don't care that there is still 30 more minutes to bedtime. The day is over.

Meds are given, time for bed. After so much screaming in my day, a little more while they are tucked in isn't a big deal.

Psalm 127

1.Unless the LORD builds the house,
its builders labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city,
the watchmen stand guard in vain.

² In vain you rise early
and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat—
for he grants sleep to those he loves.

³ Sons are a heritage from the LORD,
children a reward from him.

⁴ Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are sons born in one's youth.

⁵ Blessed is the man
whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
when they contend with their enemies in the gate.

An Intelligent Discussion with a 2.5-year-old (warning poo-poo involved)

My day was interrupted by a pile of poo.

I was feeling the call of nature, which is something that I dread at the moment because of the shape of my bathroom. My bathroom is really long and skinny, and my wheelchair doesn't fit. I have to walk. My walker is awkward in there, too, so I tend to just grab on to whatever is handy (counter top, shower handles). Anyway, I made it to the toilet only to slip and fall on a pile of poo.

There was poo on the floor next to the toilet.

Ew!

I get up, only slightly bruised, and finish my business in the bathroom and then begin to inquire about the source of the poo.

Ali claims it without hesitation. This surprises me, because at this point I am irritated, and they obviously pick up on these things.

Apparently she went to the bathroom without letting me know where she was going, but couldn't get on the toilet by herself, so she decided that the next best thing was beside the toilet.

This is where my discussion took an interesting turn.

Me: Why did you poo-poo on the floor?

Ali: I not in trouble Mommy, I went to the bathroom, I wiped front to back!

(Yep, toilet paper was in the toilet!)

Me: Why didn't you poo-poo on the toilet?

Ali: No step!

(My daughters are a bit vertically challenged, so they require a step to get on the toilet.)

Me: Why didn't you call me?

Ali: I had to go now!

(I know, I'm slow right now. It's just that my house was obviously not made for the wheelchair, so it's difficult to get around.)

Zoe: Mommy, you have owies?

Me: Yep, Mommy slipped on the poo-poo.

Ali: Want me kiss it?

Me: No, baby, Mommy just needs a shower.

Ali: Ok, I clean my poo-poo first.

Ali then grabs the baby wipes and begins to wipe the floor with them. I would stop her and get a mop, but she was taking responsibility for the poo without any prompting. She successfully argued her way out of being in any trouble because she had a logical (in two-year-old land, where she can do everything by herself) explanation for her actions, and then took it upon herself to clean up the mess that she had created. My only problem was that she had left the poo on the ground in the first place instead of cleaning it up right away, thus saving me from my fall.

So there you have it. My daughters are growing up. What a weird conversation.

After Rehab

I came home last Wednesday in a wheelchair. Today I stood to make the twin's lunch and it wiped me out. I'm not exactly strong at the moment.

Well, I thought I'd share the lesson that I learned the hard way. Apparently I'm too hard-headed to learn things the easy way, so God has to get my attention the hard way. I have to paralyzed to learn that I can't be in control. I thought I'd learned that lesson. Remember? I totally blogged about it before. I still didn't get it.

Really. I don't have to be in control. I get it. Can I walk now?

It's not the easiest thing to parent from a wheelchair. Especially the two active almost-3-year-olds. I have to rely on others quite a bit. It's bugging me. I thought I got this lesson at the beginning, when I had to ask for help right after they were born. I started to get things pretty much under control, and I got my feet knocked out from under me.

Ok. I get it. Can I walk now?

The peace that I received while I was away from home and things had to happen without my help didn't come from me. I'm a control freak. You probably already know that about me if you read this blog much.

My house had to be re-arranged without my help or opinion. Things had to happen without me doing them. It wasn't fun for anyone in my family. Still, it didn't bother me that much. That's totally not me.

Yesterday, I had to get a babysitter so I could be at home by myself so I could figure out how to function at home. I really hadn't been home much since I had been out of the rehab, so I still didn't know how to do some stuff yet, and I knew I wouldn't figure it out with 4 kids surrounding me all day. So off to their cousin's house they went.

And then I woke up at the crack of dawn with a migraine. I hadn't had one in a while. It was horrible. By the time I was over it, my mom had come home from work at about 5pm. She asked me how much I got done, and I told her about the migraine. She mentioned that I didn't get a babysitter so that I could have a headache. I didn't exactly get the migraine on purpose. I didn't say that, though. Still, my mom walked away looking at me as though she read my mind. She does read minds, you know...well, my face probably said it all.

I got up and moved around that evening, thinking about how I was going to plan my day so that I could care for my kids. I'm supposed to be napping right now. That's the plan, anyway. Micah and Becca will be dropped off here by their grandpa in about 30 minutes.

So far, I'm figuring it out. How do I do this therapy stuff with 4 kids? How do I keep my kids out of stuff but still keep it within my reach? Child safety locks just don't work any more.

Still, there have been no major disasters, and while I have had to keep a closer watch today than normal, I'm not in total control, but everything is fine.

I get it already. Can I walk now?

By the way, I can walk. For about 75 feet at a time, using a walker (yes, it does make me feel really old), I can walk. I'm hoping to eventually graduate to a cane. I want to get a really cool looking cane. I don't really want to go out and use the walker. It's probably a vanity thing, but I just don't like it. I'd rather be in a wheelchair. It seems less...I don't know...old.

Here's a couple of passages of scripture that have meant a lot to me lately:

"To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

"Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." James 5:13-16

Somewhere in the middle of those two passages is me. It seems at first glance that the two might contradict each other. If the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective, why wasn't Paul healed of his thorn in the flesh? God's answer is perfect.

"My grace is sufficient for you"

A Message from Rehab

Yay! I can type. I’m taking a lot longer than usual, but I have use of my fingers, so I am grateful. No, I don’t have internet access, but I plan on having Tony help me out by posting this. If you can read this, Tony came through for me. Thanks, Hubby.

Well, since I haven’t blogged about any of this, I’ll start the story from the beginning. I was working down at the church trying to get things ready for the garage sale, when I started to feel awful. Now, Becca had the flu, so that was probably the reason why I felt bad. I figured I just needed to finish some things up, and then get out of there and go home. Tony was there, and he was feeling kinda yucky too. Well, I sat down to rest, knowing that while I wanted to finish, getting tired wasn’t an option for me. That’s when it began.

Tingles in my legs, then my left leg went numb from the thigh down. I tried to move it. It didn’t work. I’m freaking out. By this time my mom had arrived from work to help out, and she was just outside the room. I waited a few minutes to see if it was just temporary, then called to my mom. My mom ended up taking me to the hospital.

Yes, Tony was there. I feel the need to explain that Tony doesn’t actually have to be by my side in a hospital visit. It doesn’t bother me. What does bother me is when people look down on him for not being there for me. He is being there for me. He’s taking care of my kids, and generally getting things done that need to be done. Sitting with me in the emergency room would just drive us both nuts. It’s how our relationship works. Tony doesn’t like hospitals, and while he would be there for me if I asked him to, I’m just not putting either of us through that. He can’t sit still. It’s not in his nature, and I just don’t want to change him. Especially when my mom is there and so very good at sitting through this kind of stuff.

But I digress.

So I went into the urgent care (because it’s cheaper than an emergency room visit, so we start there…not that it helped), and while I was waiting, my hands begin to tingle. Not cool. Before long they are not working, either.

I’m still sitting in the waiting room for a little bit when I begin to feel more nauseous. The flu is still there. I show it to the waiting room which begins to clear around me, if you know what I mean.

Finally they bring me in, take one look at me and my history and send me to the emergency room because they don’t admit patients from the urgent care. I move to a gurney and begin my really long night waiting for a room apparently, because they figure they already know what it is. MS. The doctors barely look at me. I’m to be scheduled for an MRI when I get a room.

Well, finally, at 7am the next morning, I got a room. It’s Saturday, though, and MRI’s aren’t done on weekends. The doctor comes in and protests this, and after a long day of waiting in an uncomfortable bed, not being able to move, at about 5pm, I get the MRI.

The next morning, I the doctor came to see me. No new lesions. What does that mean? It’s not necessarily related to the MS. It could be a totally new brain disease.

Oh, good. This MS thing was starting to feel routine. Can you feel the dripping sarcasm?

By the end of the day, which was Sunday, by the way, in case you missed all the time passing, I’m told that they don’t really know what is causing my paralysis. Was I doing anything different? Am I under any extra stress?

Basically, every doctor, except my own, thinks that this was stress induced. Umm…no. I totally reject that explanation. This is nowhere near the most stressful time of my life. Besides, even if it was, wouldn’t that go away with all of the support and relaxation that I got sitting around in the hospital? Not that I was actually stressed in the first place. Anyone who has seen me stressed out knows that I deal with that differently. I’m not stressed.

By Monday, the doctors were ready to release me with a walker (though I couldn’t even hold onto the thing yet), or send me to rehab to learn to deal with my paralysis. I know it sounds dumb, but at that point, I was torn. I wanted to go home. I really needed to gain control again. Mostly I was just tired of being told to stay in bed. Bedpans are not my friend.

After much prayer and a great deal of council, Tony and I decided that I would stay for rehab.

Tuesday morning, therapy began. Six in the morning, I was awakened to get myself ready for the day. A wheelchair became my freedom, all the way to the breakfast table.

Rehab isn’t bad. I’m learning to get around my problems, and at the same time work on getting strength and mobility back. It’s not easy, but I really didn’t want that. If I wanted easy, I would have gone home.

I think the hardest part of being here is the breaks. When I have nothing to do, I feel trapped. This has made the holiday weekend really hard. Saturday, I had occupational therapy and physical therapy in the morning, Sunday I had physical therapy for about 30 minutes in the morning, and today, Monday, Memorial Day, the therapists are off. I’m sitting around doing nothing. For typing this out, that’s a good thing, because so far it has taken several hours. My hands tire easily. They aren’t moving fast, anyway. Still, they are moving, so that is awesome.

My leg? It still doesn’t work. I have slight movement, but not enough to walk. Well, I walk a bit with a walker…and someone holding me…with a wheelchair behind me so that I have the ability to sit when I get tired…after about 50 feet.

So I’m going home in a wheelchair on Wednesday. Not my favorite thing. Still, I’m going home and I think I’m able to care for myself when I get there...after a few adjustments to my house. That’s where my family is now. I sit here by myself because my family is fixing things so that I can go home. That makes the loneliness and the boredom worth it.

So far, there has only been one day in my stay where someone outside of my family has not come to see me. It was a long day. Tony visits me every night. The kids have been able to visit every afternoon for about an hour or so each day. My mom came by to sit and play cards one day. Playing cards is actually assigned therapy, but it was still nice. It’s hard when you don’t feel anything in your hands. I’m sitting here feeling my hands start working better and better, though. It is such a good feeling, though a bit painful.

I still don’t think I could pick up my kids. That’s a bummer, but my strength is coming back. I feel the improvement, which is a blessing.

So back to cause. The major part of the improvement came after my neurologist came by. He started me on steroids like he had with the optic neuritis. The eyesight really began to come back about the same time relatively to the start of the steroids as my improvement to my hands. Anyone else think that something is related? No, they didn’t find a lesion in the brain to suggest MS again, but as soon as they started treating it like it was MS, I began to recover. I’m over thinking this, but I’ve also thought that subconsciously, I think that it is MS so bad that my stress is going down when I get the explanation that I want (which wouldn’t actually be a good thing, but it would make sense) so I’m getting better. I don’t know. I don’t even know if that makes sense. I still don’t think it’s stress, though.

Tomorrow my mom comes in for family training. Tony has to work. The kids will be at Cassidy’s house with her daddy, well, at least the twins will be, and it depends on how long the training will take for the other two. I can’t imagine it taking all day, though. She is supposed to be here around 8 am. I would hope that she can be done before 2 pm.

Wednesday I go home. Have I said that a few times? I’m excited. I’m not so excited about not having the ability to walk out of here, but I get to go home.

My house is changing without me right now. I’m not in control, but I’m ok with that. My husband and mom have it under control. God has the whole thing under control.

Where have I been?

This week, and most of last week, I have been cleaning. Not my house. My church.

Our church recently sold our facility and we are now in the process of packing things up to move. We don't actually have a place to move to yet, but God is going to provide. Anyway, since I have time (no, my kids don't actually take up time (insert roll of eyes here)) I decided to go down to the church and volunteer to help clean up and get stuff ready. I approached the dreaded "Resource Room" with a bit of confidence because I knew that God wanted me there.

I have been cleaning ever since. It doesn't look like it, it actually looks like a huge disaster, but I really have been sorting and throwing things away. It will look better soon. Really.

I should have taken before and after pictures. That would have been really cool. I don't think of these things on time.

My husband took a week of vacation from his paying job to go and work at the church (one of two not paying jobs that he has) this week, and we are going through all of the kid's classrooms and getting stuff out of there and organizing it. Well, at least that was the plan. The plan actually included Tony starting in his office.

My husband is an intelligent, witty, nice...pack rat. He comes by it honestly. His dad is way worse (though he has had many more years to refine his stuff keeping habits). It is a habit that drives me absolutely crazy ( I know, it's a short trip) especially when I am the one who has to go in and throw stuff away later. Tony is going through his office by himself (and is doing great so far, by the way), and then he is going to help me out with the classrooms. Today I went through my father-in-law's classroom. I will point out that he did go through a lot of his stuff. He and the lady who teaches with him did get a lot of the "good stuff" and move it to one spot. I just had to clear out everything else...I'm leaving the "good stuff" there through this week even though the teachers were warned that they needed to have all of their things cleared out by Monday. Still, it has to go soon. I'm just a pushover I guess.

This Saturday is the Yard Sale. I get the opportunity to haul out a whole bunch of junk and try and sell it to the community. Basically anything that isn't sold gets to hit the garbage, so I'm not really picky about how much I get out of stuff.


So I'm really busy. I'd like help, but I don't know who to ask. Basically, everyone who I would ask is working during the time that I'm down there or they have kids that care more than mine if they are ignored (Q:"Mommy or Dora the Explorer?" A: "Dora!"). I'm looking forward to Friday, when my mother-in-law comes in to pack up the church library and said that if she had extra time she would help Tony and I out.

Tony will finish his office soon. Tomorrow I'm sending my kids to visit Aunt Carrie (hopefully, if she is feeling well...she's pregnant and isn't always up for stuff) so I will be a bit more free to do what needs to be done. If all goes well tomorrow, and we feel that we will be able to finish the job on Friday, Tony and I will take Thursday off to do some actual relaxing vacation stuff (sleep...).

So that's what I'm doing. Honestly, the job has been good for me. I'm not at home all the time focusing on myself and my issues. I'd probably be way more depressed right now it that were the case. That's probably one reason why God told me to go do it.

"In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we command you, brothers, to keep away from every brother who is idle and does not live according to the teaching you received from us. For you yourselves know how you ought to follow our example. We were not idle when we were with you, nor did we eat anyone's food without paying for it. On the contrary, we worked night and day, laboring and toiling so that we would not be a burden to any of you. We did this, not because we do not have the right to such help, but in order to make ourselves a model for you to follow. For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: "If a man will not work, he shall not eat."

We hear that some among you are idle. They are not busy; they are busybodies. Such people we command and urge in the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and earn the bread they eat. And as for you, brothers, never tire of doing what is right.

If anyone does not obey our instruction in this letter, take special note of him. Do not associate with him, in order that he may feel ashamed. Yet do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother."

1 Thessalonians 3:6-15

Grounded for life

Well, I'd like to know when my 5 year old turned 13. Today she told me that I was dumb.

I thought I was supposed to know everything still. At least from her point of view.

I'm not sure what to do. She and I have always had a rough relationship. This is the little girl who started arguing with me about what she should wear at 6 months old.

Not kidding.

She screamed her head off because her socks didn't match her outfit. I'm not exaggerating. When I found her socks that matched, she stopped. She rejected the yellow ones that didn't go with the purple dress. At that moment, I knew that this girl would be trouble for me.

During her toddler years she would have separation anxiety from one of my good friends (who is a girly girl, whereas I am...not at all). She kept telling me that she wanted to be a part of that family instead. She wanted to take Daddy with her, though.

I literally had to force a bond with her putting her to bed each night. I would take her to bed about a half an hour earlier than I had been, then tell her that she could rock with me for a while, or go to bed early. We would read a book or sing songs...or she would choose going to bed early.

As she grew older (I know, she's not that old yet, still) she would usually listen to Daddy, but anything that I said could be argued with, no matter how much she was disciplined for arguing.

Am I bitter? Probably. I shouldn't be, I know. At least she listens to Daddy. I'd just like to know where this whole idea that I am dumb comes from. She and I don't think alike, I know, and that makes her think that I don't know anything. I sit and do her homework with her every day, read the instructions to her when she can't figure it out, but she thinks I'm dumb.

I realized recently that she doesn't ask me all those why questions that 3, 4, and 5 year-olds tend to have. She asks them, she just doesn't ask me.

What am I doing wrong?

I'm considering a lot of options. Big changes just so that Becca will stop treating me this way. Her Daddy has spoken to her about this more than a few times. Some things have worked in the past, but they really haven't lasted long. I just don't know what to do. If this is what she is like now, I shudder to think of what she will be like at 13. This lack of respect is already getting on my nerves.

I Had a Birthday!

Yesterday was my birthday.

Yay!

I took advantage of the Disneyland thing, and went on my birthday. Then I decided to go overboard and get myself a season pass so I can take my kids on their birthdays, too.

Anyway...I had fun. The twins went with me, since they are still under 3 and therefore free. I know, I went to Disneyland without Micah and Becca. Since I didn't make a big deal about it at home, they didn't care. Besides, they got to spend the day with Grandpa, which to them is just awesome.

I went with my SIL and her hubby and Cassidy. They go all the time (season passes) so basically they kept asking me what I wanted to do next, so I was really glad when the twins or Cassidy had an opinion, because I really didn't care. Disneyland is fun, but I kept thinking about the rest of my family and what they would like to be doing if they were there. That and the fact that if Micah was there, I wouldn't have to stand in lines. Disneyland is super accomidating for those with special needs. Micah can't stand to wait in lines, and we always go to get a special pass for him that helps us out with that. It's great.

Ali and Zoe had a blast. Well, Zoe didn't like some of it, though. Just about any ride that was inside (with the exception of Small World, though she didn't like all of that one, either) she hid her face in my side for the whole ride. That girl is a total chicken. We took her on Snow White, and she didn't like that, too scary. Not that I blame the kid, but the trauma kept coming. We went on Pinocchio, she freaked out. Mr Toad's wild ride, her face went to my side before the thing even started (not that I blamed her, Ali was driving!). The torture continued with Buzz Lightyear, but I really thought she would get into that when Uncle Shawn told her it was a video game like the Wii. She had the lazer in her hand until we turned the first corner, then she dropped it and stuck her head in my side. Ali was shooting bad guys the whole time.

Dumbo was a favorite for everyone, but I think the one that they really liked the best was the carousel. Zoe and Ali both came home telling everyone that they rode "the elephants" and "the horsies."
I had enough energy to make it through the day, but driving home really wasn't cool. I only had to make it home from my in-law's house, but that really wasn't fun when I was tired. Basically, I crash big time when I get too tired or don't drink enough water. Not fun. I'm pretty useless when I crash. Sometimes I can't even stand. Anyway, I hadn't crashed, but I felt like I was going to on the drive home, so I decided that I would put my husband on speaker phone to keep me company, and so that he would know where I was at if I had to pull over. I made it home, but crashed right away, and Tony put the girls to bed. Just in time.

Today, I planned to relax in the morning and get over crashing hard, then when my mom got home from work early (she had to take some time they owed her), we would all go down to the church to work on the resource room (an incredibly large project that I do in my "spare time"). That didn't end up working out because the twins threw a major tantrum while my mom picked up the older two from school, so I sent them to their room to calm down and they fell asleep...for 4 hours. I wasn't going to wake them. They certainly needed it.

Instead of doing a million other things that I should have done at home today (I kept thinking that the twins would wake up at any moment and we would go work at the church so I needed to save my strength for that), I sat around reading. Yeah, I liked reading. I felt like a lazy bum afterward, but I read my book while Micah and Becca worked on their homework. Still, I haven't had the opportunity or ability to just sit around and read in a while, so it was nice.

When the twins finally woke up from their nap, we loaded everyone in the car and then Becca started asking what was for dinner. Dinner? Umm...I don't know.... We ended up going through a drive through, then I remembered that Becca had baseball practice this evening, so we never made it to the church.

Bummer.

I'll go in the morning, but I won't have my mom. Grr...

So anyway, that was my birthday and the day after. I turned 29 for the first time! Yay!