I am not a bad parent because my kids do chores.
Someone is feeding my kid this garbage at school. Becca seems to think that she is just too young to have any responsibility all of a sudden. Well, it isn't really all of a sudden, she just is more adamant about it suddenly.
"None of my friends have to do chores"
"I'm only 6, too young to have to clean anything"
"I don't get anything for working! Can't I at least get an allowance?"
Complain, complain, complain...
No, I don't give her an allowance, but I don't make her pay for her tennis lessons (or whatever whim she comes up with that I have to pay for). I don't give her the option of having money because I know what she wants to spend it on. The ice cream guy, cheap toys that she won't play with more than once, etc. One day we will probably work on that, but for now, we work in a points system. It gives me a bit more freedom with the money, and controls Becca's spending. It works for us.
As for her being too young, that's absolutely ridiculous. She knows it, too. The twins have chores. All of my kids have had some sort of chore (even if it was just picking up after themselves) since they have been able to get around. Yes, that means crawling. I taught my kids to put their own toys away when they were done with them as soon as they could get a toy to the container. It didn't seem to stick as well with the twins, but we're still working on it. They are 3...and really good at being 3.
Why such high expectations? I refuse to be one of those moms who have to do everything for their kids. I do a lot. Really. Part of that doing for them is to teach them how to be responsible human beings. That means, yes, Micah can do his own laundry. Becca is learning how to do her own, too. She pretty much has it, I just observe her doing it.
Whoever is feeding my kid the line that she shouldn't have to clean up after herself needs to stop. It's messing up Becca's attitude and getting her in trouble. My expectations may be different for my kid's than you have for yours, but that doesn't make either one of us wrong. It just makes us different. If I expected my kid to do all of the house work (I'd probably have a really dirty house), then that would be wrong. She is only 6...still, if I expect her to clean up after herself, empty the dishwasher, and do her own laundry (well, some of it. I'm not completely unreasonable) before she goes out and plays, then what's the big deal? I'm teaching my child to be responsible. Poor girl. Maybe she will grow up and be a responsible adult. Who knows what might happen if there are more of those around?
Ok, I'll leave my soap box now.
2 comments:
I think you're right. Chores are part of everyone's life. They might as well get used to it from the get go!
I dunno why anybody would think that you shouldn't have kids do chores. How can you teach them any kind of work ethic?
We do give the kids money for their work, and sometimes they spend it on really dumb things, but I figure it is better for them to learn NOW that buying a toy you will only play with once is a waste of money, rather than when they have access to credit cards later and can really put them in a world of hurt.
If you don't have to work for it, money has no value and is easily squandered. If you show them that money has value and that the thing they want to buy requires a lot of hard work to obtain, then it's a lesson worth learning.
And, if they are willing to work hard to get a silly toy...they deserve to get the reward for their efforts. Regardless of how silly or short-lived their attention to it is.
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