School Issues

The last few weeks have been horrible at the girls' school.  The "zero tolerance" violence policy there is a complete joke.  Last week I just lost all ability to take any more of it.

I volunteer once a week in Zoe's class and once a week in Ali's class.  All 5 classes of Kindergarteners at our school know me pretty well.  I am usually known as the mom who brings puppets and does sign language with them.  I get the advantage of being the "good guy" when things go wrong.  I give out hugs and take kids to the nurse when they are hurt.  I'm generally liked by the kids.

Zoe and Ali are pretty flexible and loving kids.  They are patient with the kids who need a little more patience to play with them.  They are used to that because they have played with Micah all their lives.

All that being said, it's taken this much into the year for the kid who has been violent since the beginning to get around to hurting my kid.  He's not in their class, only sees him on the playground or when classes combine, but he got to Zoe.  I was not a happy mommy.

The child in question is either sitting "on the wall" during recess, holding a teacher's hand during recess, or hurting someone every day that I have been there.  I have kept my mouth shut and watched and listened as the drama has unfolded with this child.  The teacher is sad because she hasn't gotten any assistance and he obviously has some social issues that need to be addressed.  She sends him to the office every time he harms another child and he has been sent back to class and the teacher is told that he doesn't understand that he has done anything wrong so they can't do anything.  Seriously?

The child doesn't have a 504, no IEP, no behavior plan. The teacher told me that the  Nothing has been done to help this child learn that what he is doing is wrong.  The consequences didn't go farther than him being sent to the office and the mom being talked to by the teacher until I said something because my child was hurt.
 
What's worse?  The principal told me when I spoke to him that day that he was doing everything that he could for this child.  

He obviously was lying.

What happened?  Zoe was running when the boy suddenly grabbed her by the hair, pulled her so he could get a hold on her neck, and then brought her down to the ground by choking her.  I also happen to know because I've seen it happen that this isn't the first time he has used this move.

I decided to go above the principal.  I went to the district office that day and filed a complaint.

Now, part of this I know because I listen to the teachers as they talk around me.  They know that I'm concerned for this child and not out to get him, but honestly, I don't think that they think that I'm listening when they are talking half the time.  I know that the mom was really upset that day when she took him home.  I also know that the only reason why he was sent home was because I went and talked to the principal about it. 

When the principal heard about my complaint, he told the teacher to email the psychologist and say that they need to "get something really started" for this child. Yeah, I probably shouldn't have overheard that part of the conversation.  It made me really mad.

The rest of the week I don't see this boy at school.  This week he hasn't come back either.  The teacher is wondering if the mom has given up.  I feel bad for her because no one has done anything to actually help her child and she doesn't know what services he could get if someone actually did the work to help him.

I got a response to my complaint.   "Based on the complaint an investigation into the student's record and the site's response to the student's behavior has been conducted.  Through the investigation it was discovered that site personnel are equally concerned and are implementing procedures and interventions as required by federal, state, and Board policy."

HA!  Now they are doing something.  Good thing I said something because nothing would have happened otherwise, I'm sure.  Of course, the mom is now completely at a loss and thinks no one there can help her, but now they will do something.

Ready for the next one?

Yesterday I got a phone call.  Becca was on the playground when a boy from her class came and wrapped her hood around her neck and pulled so hard she had red marks.   This is a boy who has been known to harm others as well.  Later Becca told me that he had been flipping her off.  Her friends have had the same type experience with this boy.

I don't want to have to go file another complaint.  I know that the teacher is frustrated, and I just think the kid needs interventions or at least real consequences for his behavior. 

Becca told me today that she's just not planning on wearing hoods anymore because she doesn't want to get hurt.  My kid shouldn't have to live like that.

AHHHH!!!!

That's about how I feel right now.

Why is it that when my son has an issue that has become a consistent problem he gets a behavior plan and interventions to help him learn, but other kids don't have that?  I know that a behavior plan isn't something that people like to have on kid's records, but it's designed to help them learn!  They have to have firm consequences for behavior or they will not learn that what they are doing is unacceptable.

I'm not talking about kids who have only had a behavior problem once or even twice, though the second time should be a red flag.  These kids have had problems consistently all year.  I'm not entirely certain that part of the problem isn't that the teachers need to adjust the way that they approach working with these kids, but the fact is that the behaviors haven't been properly assessed to find out what should be done to prevent them!

Anyhoo.

I'll jump down from my soap box now.  I'm a little frustrated, can you tell?  I don't really know what to do about these things.  I just wish I had money for a private school so I could take my kids out of this nonsense.  I know that private schools aren't perfect, but I'm sick of dealing with this system.