I am so lame...

I gave up yesterday. I hate giving up, even if it makes sense. I just don't like the idea of giving in.

I am no longer enrolled in the class that I was taking this semester. I have a whole bunch of excuses, but I still feel lame. Because of lack of funds, I had to wait to order my books, but they were still supposed to come in time for my class. I waited and waited. I called the bookstore. They already sent it off, and no, they didn't have a number or anything so I could check with Fed Ex. I hate Fed Ex. I couldn't study for my test. I looked up the answers for my homework on the internet, but I didn't have any confidence in my answers. I failed the first test. I knew every question that she had lectured on, but 90% of the stuff that she put on the test came out of the book, not the lecture. I talked to the instructor, and she said that I needed the book by Wednesday, or I would probably end up taking the class again. She did tell me that I should probably stay in the class so that I had the experience for next time, but I knew I couldn't handle that. I hate to fail. Even if it isn't failing, I just wouldn't get a good enough grade, I still don't think I can handle that stress. I'd rather just read the book when I finally get it. It may not be the hands-on experience that I would get in the lab, but I don't think that will be my problem. I have the handouts that tell me what I need to memorize, I'll just do some memorization before I get to the class next time.

So I quit. I just gave up. I still don't have my books, but if they don't come in soon, I am calling the bookstore again to complain and get my money back. One thing is for sure, I won't ever be ordering books online again. I had no problems last time, but this just shows how unreliable that really is.

I ended up signing up for another class, but it's nothing intense. I do need it for graduation, though. I never took any art classes or anything before on a college level, just core stuff like math and English. So this semester I feel like I am being lazy when it comes to school, but I am still going. I am taking digital photography. I have all the materials, I think. I haven't started the class yet, though. I always wanted to take a class like that anyway. I still feel like I am being lame, but my stress level will hopefully go down, so I know that my husband will be happier.

So, I hope I will have some interesting pictures to share throughout my class. I am blessed with some beautiful subjects for pictures of people. My kids are adorable.

"This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.
The LORD'S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease,
For His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness. "
Lamentations 3:21-23