Have you ever asked God a question, got an answer you don't like, then have the nerve to ask again thinking that you just heard wrong?
That's kinda what I'm doing right now. I'm frustrated. God told me something that I don't like, and now I'm just going to have to do it. It's uncomfortable. It's hard. I don't like it. Now I'm having a hissy fit like a toddler about it.
I'm pretty sure that His blessing will come because of obedience, but I just don't want to do this thing. I can't even write what it is, so if I'm vague, it's on purpose. Sorry if I don't make sense. Do tantrums ever make sense anyway?
I complain about my kid's tantrums, but I'm sitting here doing the same thing. I'm arguing as though I know best, even though intellectually I know that I don't. I'm not using my brain right now, though. I'm throwing my tantrum.
Twice I've asked God this same question. Twice He's given me the same answer. Then I went to Tony and we asked together...same answer. I'm grumbling because I'm comfortable and I like where I am. Sure, there are difficult things going on where I am, but jumping out and doing the thing that He wants me to do will be harder. I know it already. I don't like it.
What is worse is that 2 years ago, if He had asked me to do this very thing, I would have been totally okay with it. If He asked me to do this thing a year ago, I may have grumbled a bit, but I would have been fine! But no, that wasn't the plan.
I should be excited. There are so many good things for my family that will come out of this. I know that already. I'm just being selfish. I'm comfortable, and I want to stay that way.
So friends, if you have any encouragement, please leave me a comment. I know that there are many verses in the Bible about this...they keep coming to mind, but I don't want to write them. I'm really not in the mood for acceptance at the moment. I know I have to be soon, though. It's never a good idea to disobey.
2 comments:
I don't know if it will make you feel better or not - but I like to read about Moses's tantrum when God told him to go back to Egypt and talk to Pharoah. It's a pretty impressive fit. But, afterwards, he still heads off to Egypt to do his job :) Good luck!
I;ve been where you are at many times. David hears something from God and prays that I will hear the same thing. Then he waits, and waits because I don't want that answer from God so I don't want to ask. I finally ask and hear the same answer and follow God, but still kicking and screaming. In the end, each time has turned out to be such a blessing. It's really amazing, God knows exactly what He is doing.
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