Thursday, January 14, 2010
If you like to talk to office supplies...if a Broadway song can make you smile...
This is from the new VeggieTales video that is coming out in February. I thought it was fun.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Questionable Parenting?
There comes a point in every mother's life where she questions her parenting skills. I'm guessing that for most women, the breaking point (if it hasn't come before) is the age of 3.
Ok, that's really just my theory, but if you're a mom, and you've never questioned your abilities, just humor me for a minute.
My questioning has come this week.
I know, I'm Supermommie! There is no way that I can't handle this stuff...right?
If I dared snap pictures of my twin's newest haircuts, you would understand my questioning. Why? Why do my children repeatedly do the things that I know that I have explained (with much discipline) are wrong?
My girls just don't want hair.
They don't want toys, either.
This week they have been grounded from many of their toys because they refused to clean up after themselves. I told them that in order for them to get their toys back, they would have to keep their room clean constantly. Of course, this should be easy with no (or few) toys to clean up, right? NO! Laundry beside the hamper! Digging through drawers to find the outfit that they want then leaving the discarded clothes everywhere! What do I do next? Ground them from clothes? I discovered that my lovely Becca just needed to be threatened with my choosing her clothes for her every day. Still, Ali and Zoe just don't care. They just throw a fit (though that gets them no where) and decide to make Mommy miserable. I'm ready to take away all their dresses (though Ali really doesn't care).
So...do I give my kids way too much freedom? I know, my 3-year-olds pick out their own clothes, but it gives them independence in something small and controllable. I don't over-structure their days in the mornings because we get a lot of structure when their brother comes home from school. I want to let them have some time to just be themselves, though the good teaching times come during that part of the day. For example, we are learning to tell time (on a digital clock) right now because they wanted to know when they could have a snack. They know their numbers, I was busy, so I gave them a time to look for on the clock. Great fun, made the waiting easier, and they learned a little bit in the process. Teaching for us is in the small stuff.
Still, I give them a lot of choices. I wonder if I give them too many. I mean, whenever they have a choice in something, it is limited (i.e. pb&J or grilled cheese?), but they really do get choices all day long...until their brother gets home, anyway....then we have the schedule.
I wonder if all those choices are making them think that they are in charge a little too much. I also wonder if I could even change my habits if I tried. My daughters are smart, opinionated, and slightly manipulative. The last part doesn't always work on me, but still, it's there. I just feel that if they give me a reasonable argument (without whining, I hate whining) that there is no real reason why I can't compromise a little. Not on the important stuff like brushing your teeth and eating right, but then I don't think that they would be able to give me a reasonable argument to get out of that stuff.
Generally my problems don't come about when I am talking to them anyway...it's when they sneak around behind my back and paint with peanut butter or find scissors that Micah had in his art kit that I didn't know he had and play beauty salon...not for the first time....
Why didn't I know about the scissors? It's not the first time this has happened! At some point I'm just being the questionable parent!
I could keep complaining, or I could just start a count down for when the twins finally get out of the evil age of 3....
Ok, that's really just my theory, but if you're a mom, and you've never questioned your abilities, just humor me for a minute.
My questioning has come this week.
I know, I'm Supermommie! There is no way that I can't handle this stuff...right?
If I dared snap pictures of my twin's newest haircuts, you would understand my questioning. Why? Why do my children repeatedly do the things that I know that I have explained (with much discipline) are wrong?
My girls just don't want hair.
They don't want toys, either.
This week they have been grounded from many of their toys because they refused to clean up after themselves. I told them that in order for them to get their toys back, they would have to keep their room clean constantly. Of course, this should be easy with no (or few) toys to clean up, right? NO! Laundry beside the hamper! Digging through drawers to find the outfit that they want then leaving the discarded clothes everywhere! What do I do next? Ground them from clothes? I discovered that my lovely Becca just needed to be threatened with my choosing her clothes for her every day. Still, Ali and Zoe just don't care. They just throw a fit (though that gets them no where) and decide to make Mommy miserable. I'm ready to take away all their dresses (though Ali really doesn't care).
So...do I give my kids way too much freedom? I know, my 3-year-olds pick out their own clothes, but it gives them independence in something small and controllable. I don't over-structure their days in the mornings because we get a lot of structure when their brother comes home from school. I want to let them have some time to just be themselves, though the good teaching times come during that part of the day. For example, we are learning to tell time (on a digital clock) right now because they wanted to know when they could have a snack. They know their numbers, I was busy, so I gave them a time to look for on the clock. Great fun, made the waiting easier, and they learned a little bit in the process. Teaching for us is in the small stuff.
Still, I give them a lot of choices. I wonder if I give them too many. I mean, whenever they have a choice in something, it is limited (i.e. pb&J or grilled cheese?), but they really do get choices all day long...until their brother gets home, anyway....then we have the schedule.
I wonder if all those choices are making them think that they are in charge a little too much. I also wonder if I could even change my habits if I tried. My daughters are smart, opinionated, and slightly manipulative. The last part doesn't always work on me, but still, it's there. I just feel that if they give me a reasonable argument (without whining, I hate whining) that there is no real reason why I can't compromise a little. Not on the important stuff like brushing your teeth and eating right, but then I don't think that they would be able to give me a reasonable argument to get out of that stuff.
Generally my problems don't come about when I am talking to them anyway...it's when they sneak around behind my back and paint with peanut butter or find scissors that Micah had in his art kit that I didn't know he had and play beauty salon...not for the first time....
Why didn't I know about the scissors? It's not the first time this has happened! At some point I'm just being the questionable parent!
I could keep complaining, or I could just start a count down for when the twins finally get out of the evil age of 3....
Friday, January 8, 2010
Referee
Today, I feel like a referee. The twins are getting on each other's nerves. Ali has a mean right hook. Zoe would be an awesome wrestler. She can take down her sister in less than 10 seconds.
Ok, I shouldn't be bragging about their fighting skills, but really, there's not much else to be positive about. I had to put them on opposite sides of the table for breakfast this morning so that they couldn't reach each other. This resulted in a spoon fight (they have already done the food fight thing in the past...they got into way too much trouble for a repeat performance).
After breakfast they started to play with the few toys that they are allowed to touch right now (long story, but they have this aversion to cleaning up after themselves) and Ali threw a punch over Zoe not playing "the prince" in a man voice. Time out number one for Ali.
While Ali is in time out, Zoe decided that it would be fun to taunt her sister...time out one for Zoe.
When time outs are over, the girls apologized to each other and then went on playing together. Not even 5 minutes pass, and I hear the girls in Micah's room. "Hold still, Zoe!" Zoe is crying. I walk in to see Ali stepping on her sister to get on top of their brother's bookshelf, so they can try to reach his "cool toys."
Time out number 2...and I begin to feel like they are going to live in their time-out chairs today.
They move on from their time out and begin to play again. I go to the bathroom...big mistake. By the time I am out, they have gone to the kitchen, gotten down the peanut butter, and had a snack...just the peanut butter.
I'm sick of time out, scrubbers for everyone! My kitchen can use it! The girls clean up their pb paintings (body art and wall decor), and then I set them free again. Another mistake. Looking back, I probably should have noted at this point that they need a lot of extra attention, and this day isn't going to get better if I don't give it to them...I'm just not bright enough to get it at this point.
I'm not feeling especially well, so I decide it's just time to turn on the TV. They look sucked in, so I go to clean up the clean up in the kitchen (you know 3-year-olds are not incredibly thorough). Ten minutes later (I got distracted by dishes), I come in to a wrestling match where Zoe has her sister pinned, and Ali is laying on a little rubber bouncy ball that she found in the couch, screaming "it's mine! I found it!"
Time out number 3. Bouncy ball leaves the building. This time they get out of time out and are sent to play in separate rooms.
Please note that at this point it's only 9am. I am wiped out for the day. I'm just done. I got out of bed less than 2 hours earlier, but I just want to go back.
Next comes Zoe trying out her Stewie impression (thanks Judith). I don't watch the show, and neither do the kids, but my friend posted this on facebook and told me that it was kid-friendly. They have done this to me before, but now it's twice as funny to them.
I'm totally not in the mood. This makes for great fun for the girls. I have to laugh, though.
Finally they are playing together without fighting. This is good! It doesn't last, though. I have come to the conclusion that everything in their lives must come in twos. If one has something, the other has to have the exact same thing, otherwise arguments are unavoidable. This is extended not just to toys, but also to cups, plates, silverware, etc. No matter what, they will both have a preference, and it will be the same one...unless I want it to be the same, then it is totally different. Probably just to irritate me. This is the next argument. Someone wants juice. One wants apple, the other wants cranberry. Well, this isn't happening. After Zoe's tongue injury, she isn't allowed to have juice at all. Milk or water. NOOOO! I can't exactly let Ali have juice right in front of Zoe, so I have a double tantrum on my hands. I walk away. Facebook, here I come. I tell them that I will be happy to get them something to drink when they ask nicely for milk or water. I ignore the rest. The trouble is, they are tantruming together. They are both upset, so they turn on each other. After a bit of wrestling, I get the girls to separate corners, and the tantrums continue. I think they were competing for who can scream the longest.
Lunch time rolls around and the tantrums finally stop. Yeah, they went on for quite a while. The arguments begin again about lunch, but this is settled rather quickly compared to the rest of my day.
They spend most of lunch time telling me that they don't like what I have given them...this is after they have given me specifics every step of lunch (peanut butter and jelly on tortilla...the red jelly, not the orange one...spread out all over, not just the middle...NO! Peanut butter and honey on tortilla!- fortunately, I know to tell them that they don't have to agree).
Is it nap time yet? NO! I still have to go pick up Becca from school. Hooray! She's usually in a good mood on Fridays because her teacher doesn't give weekend homework. When we get home, I will put the twins down for a nap and enjoy the quiet.
Don't burst my bubble! It will probably be quiet at least until Micah comes home...well, maybe....
Ok, I shouldn't be bragging about their fighting skills, but really, there's not much else to be positive about. I had to put them on opposite sides of the table for breakfast this morning so that they couldn't reach each other. This resulted in a spoon fight (they have already done the food fight thing in the past...they got into way too much trouble for a repeat performance).
After breakfast they started to play with the few toys that they are allowed to touch right now (long story, but they have this aversion to cleaning up after themselves) and Ali threw a punch over Zoe not playing "the prince" in a man voice. Time out number one for Ali.
While Ali is in time out, Zoe decided that it would be fun to taunt her sister...time out one for Zoe.
When time outs are over, the girls apologized to each other and then went on playing together. Not even 5 minutes pass, and I hear the girls in Micah's room. "Hold still, Zoe!" Zoe is crying. I walk in to see Ali stepping on her sister to get on top of their brother's bookshelf, so they can try to reach his "cool toys."
Time out number 2...and I begin to feel like they are going to live in their time-out chairs today.
They move on from their time out and begin to play again. I go to the bathroom...big mistake. By the time I am out, they have gone to the kitchen, gotten down the peanut butter, and had a snack...just the peanut butter.
I'm sick of time out, scrubbers for everyone! My kitchen can use it! The girls clean up their pb paintings (body art and wall decor), and then I set them free again. Another mistake. Looking back, I probably should have noted at this point that they need a lot of extra attention, and this day isn't going to get better if I don't give it to them...I'm just not bright enough to get it at this point.
I'm not feeling especially well, so I decide it's just time to turn on the TV. They look sucked in, so I go to clean up the clean up in the kitchen (you know 3-year-olds are not incredibly thorough). Ten minutes later (I got distracted by dishes), I come in to a wrestling match where Zoe has her sister pinned, and Ali is laying on a little rubber bouncy ball that she found in the couch, screaming "it's mine! I found it!"
Time out number 3. Bouncy ball leaves the building. This time they get out of time out and are sent to play in separate rooms.
Please note that at this point it's only 9am. I am wiped out for the day. I'm just done. I got out of bed less than 2 hours earlier, but I just want to go back.
Next comes Zoe trying out her Stewie impression (thanks Judith). I don't watch the show, and neither do the kids, but my friend posted this on facebook and told me that it was kid-friendly. They have done this to me before, but now it's twice as funny to them.
I'm totally not in the mood. This makes for great fun for the girls. I have to laugh, though.
Finally they are playing together without fighting. This is good! It doesn't last, though. I have come to the conclusion that everything in their lives must come in twos. If one has something, the other has to have the exact same thing, otherwise arguments are unavoidable. This is extended not just to toys, but also to cups, plates, silverware, etc. No matter what, they will both have a preference, and it will be the same one...unless I want it to be the same, then it is totally different. Probably just to irritate me. This is the next argument. Someone wants juice. One wants apple, the other wants cranberry. Well, this isn't happening. After Zoe's tongue injury, she isn't allowed to have juice at all. Milk or water. NOOOO! I can't exactly let Ali have juice right in front of Zoe, so I have a double tantrum on my hands. I walk away. Facebook, here I come. I tell them that I will be happy to get them something to drink when they ask nicely for milk or water. I ignore the rest. The trouble is, they are tantruming together. They are both upset, so they turn on each other. After a bit of wrestling, I get the girls to separate corners, and the tantrums continue. I think they were competing for who can scream the longest.
Lunch time rolls around and the tantrums finally stop. Yeah, they went on for quite a while. The arguments begin again about lunch, but this is settled rather quickly compared to the rest of my day.
They spend most of lunch time telling me that they don't like what I have given them...this is after they have given me specifics every step of lunch (peanut butter and jelly on tortilla...the red jelly, not the orange one...spread out all over, not just the middle...NO! Peanut butter and honey on tortilla!- fortunately, I know to tell them that they don't have to agree).
Is it nap time yet? NO! I still have to go pick up Becca from school. Hooray! She's usually in a good mood on Fridays because her teacher doesn't give weekend homework. When we get home, I will put the twins down for a nap and enjoy the quiet.
Don't burst my bubble! It will probably be quiet at least until Micah comes home...well, maybe....
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