Entitlement and Groceries

I discovered something about my son yesterday. He hates the attitude of entitlement in many disabled people.

Before I tell the story, I should explain that Micah doesn't define "disabled" as a lack of ability. He uses the word as more of a group designation. He has heard the word applied to many people in his life who have incredible abilities.  He has heard it applied to him and he doesn't feel limited. For him "disabled" mostly means that you get a close parking spot.

All that being said, you can understand his lack of patience with people who use the word "disabled" to mean that they should get away with things that don't follow the rules of polite society.

Yesterday we were in an especially long line in the grocery store, and a gentleman in a wheelchair was slowly making his way through the line behind us with his huge cart full of groceries asking people if he could go in front of them because he was disabled. The man was in a wheelchair. One leg was missing, but other than that, by all appearances he was fine. Of course, we all know that there could have been many other things happening in his life and health, even though they did not show.

Micah didn't care.

He normally isn't so terribly insensitive, but I could tell that this guy was on his nerves. He came up behind us and said, "excuse me, could I go ahead of you? I'm disabled." This was the same thing he had said to 4 people behind us who were only holding a few things compared to his huge full cart. Micah wasn't having it. He turned and said "no. I'm disabled.  I stay in line."

Now, if you know me, you know I don't usually put up with rudeness in my kid. I teach compassion in these moments rather than allowing him to continue with the tirade. My problem was that the man decided at that moment to inform me in a very profane way that my child was a horrible person and I was a terrible mother.

I just about lost it.

Thank God they opened another checkout lane right then and asked us if we wanted to switch.  I said, "no thanks. We will stay in our line." The man in the wheelchair said, "well I'll go. At least someone will give me the treatment a disabled person deserves."

He kept talking very loudly through the whole transaction about rude children and terrible parents and the end of civilization (I paraphrase). I just held my boy who was very tense through the whole thing.

We made it up to the front of the line soon after and the man was still there waiting for someone to help him take his groceries to his car. The checkers were apologetic, we shop there quite a bit and they all recognize Micah. They were just trying to diffuse the situation. 

The point that made me so proud was when my boy went up to the bagger and asked if he could bag after the bagger was told that he should go help the man to his car after bagging our stuff. He wasn't mad at the man for needing help, he was mad at him for demanding special treatment. The lady behind us observed my boy and said, "oh, he just gave me chills. He's obviously a great kid. That guy is crazy."

I had a good discussion with Micah in the car afterwards. He was mad about the guy cutting in line while sitting. We talked about not being able to see some pain and stuff in others and always being kind even when people are rude or mean. He said, "I know. I bagged."

Yeah, my kid was rude, but then he tried to be kind. I don't know everything that goes on in his head, but now I know another button that should not be pushed.