Here's a video that was recently released by Girl Scouts.
I agree with most of this message, and yet it disturbs me. Question everything? I get the point about not following celebrities and the stuff you see on TV. I just don't know that I want my kids to hear "question everything".
The most annoying thing in parenting in my opinion is when I tell my child to do something and they ask "why?" I find myself saying "because I said so" too much. Why is that annoying? I have authority over my children. When I tell them to do something, they need to do it. After they have obeyed, I don't really mind explaining to them the reasons why I told them to do it, but I still expect obedience. Do I really want my children told to question me?
How does that translate to adult life? Authority is there for a reason. There's a speed limit, we are expected to obey it. When you are stopped by a policeman for speeding, you don't question him as to why there is a speed limit. You take your ticket and argue it after if you feel it's wrong. If you disagree with the speed limit, there are valid ways to get it changed, but the limit is still there and there are consequences if you ignore it.
While I would like my children to form opinions and think about the whys and hows of things, I still expect respect for authority. Should you question everything? Is it possible that there are things that you just won't ever understand and you just have to accept in faith? Of course, you won't know what those things are unless you question them first. How else do you know what to accept in faith and what is actually explainable.
Then there's the idea that no one should tell you what you should wear...hmmm...I have a problem with that. I tell my kids what they are allowed to wear. I should tell them how they should look. That's my job as a parent. I listen to God and my husband about what I should wear. It makes more sense to emphasize who you should listen to about how you should look.
If a doctor told you that your weight was so much of a problem that if you didn't diet, you would die, should you question him/her? Sure, get a second opinion, third opinion, whatever, but the reality is that the way you look affects your health. You can tell everyone that you like how you look and you are going to stay unhealthy, but it's going to make a difference in your lifespan.
On a smaller level, if your friend told you that you have something in your teeth, you would fix it, right? You might even get irritated if you had something in your teeth and no one told you, right? Sometimes what people tell you about how you look is a good thing. You just have to know who to listen to.
So, while I agree that it's a bad thing to listen to someone just because they are on TV, I'm still questioning this message. Of course, that's what they told me to do....
2 comments:
Well, I have to disagree with you (shocking, right?). Questioning everything and accepting authority aren't mutually exclusive.
Questions are how you get answers, and as annoying as it is to hear it, kids asking 'why' isn't quite the bad thing as you make it sound. Raising kids who are inquisitive about everything surrounding them is really the first step toward building a rational foundation they can use to make good decisions.
"Because I said so" is a perfectly valid response to "why", but in many cases it is also a good trigger, as an "ultimate" authority figure in someone else's life, to examine your own rational decision making process.
I mean, if you are asking your kid to do the dishes, and he asks "why?", the most appropriate response is "because I said so". But, if they are asking "Why shouldn't I do drugs?", they probably need more of an explanation.
They need to have the tools they need to come to a rational decision on their own about why they shouldn't do that, or they will wind up doing those drugs in some sort of adolescent rebellion phase that we all go through at some point or the other. (When your role as "ultimate authority figure" is questioned.)
Also, questioning things is never a bad thing as long as you consider the forum with which to question it, and the proper method to use.
For example, questioning why there is a 25 mph speed limit in the middle of nowhere (when everywhere else in the city is 35mph) by writing a letter to the city council questioning the logic and citing issues with traffic flow = good way to question it. Speeding through at 50mph every day until a cop pulls you over = a bad way to question it.
As for me as a grownup, I find "questioning everything" to be great advice, and I take it to heart.
There is no one on this earth that is infallible. No pastor, priest, pope, parent, boss, or politician. Blindly following ANYONE is the first step on the road to disaster.
I think the real problem is motivation of the child is asking the question. If they are asking the question (to the correct person in the correct way) merely for the sake of increased knowledge, then yes they should ask the question. If they are asking "why" in order to question my authority, then there are problems. A more precise question is necessary than just "why?" when I tell you to do the dishes if you are attempting to gain information. If the tone is whiny, then the question is not merely for information gaining purposes.
If a person is questioning something merely for the sake of the question, it's not doing any good. If you are questioning something for the purpose of gaining information, it's a good thing.
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