I have several thoughts going through my head right now and I figured I'd share.
If you haven't read the story of how this whole trip started you can read it here. Anyway, the story I want to tell is about the little girl who started this whole thing. My Becca.
Becca and I have had a roller coaster of a relationship. She has been independent since birth, and I'm pretty sure she wanted to be before that, which is why I was so sick while pregnant with her. Becca and I had a bond that I had to force on her. I breastfed her for a year while she did her best not to touch me more than absolutely necessary.
My oldest daughter was not a defiant baby or toddler. She would obey anyone but challenged her mom. Daddy held the key to her heart and I heard all about it. Mommy was a disaster and couldn't do anything right.
One of my first clues that she was going to be a challenge came at 6 months when she wouldn't calm down until I changed her socks to ones that matched her outfit. I'm dead serious.
Becca was talking quite young. Micah's speech therapy at our house twice a week worked on someone...just not Micah. For her first birthday she explained to us that she would like to have her party at the Ontario Mills Mall and have lunch at the Rainforest Cafe and that everyone was to give her gift cards so she could pick out her own clothes.
If you know Tony and I, you know that we are pretty flexible people. I'm rigid when I feel I have to be, but Tony is the most flexible guy I know. I know that the stubborn stuff from Becca has to come from me. She is determined about absolutely everything. She is also incredibly intelligent. Before Becca came to know Christ personally at 5, her struggle was not with understanding what her decision was, it was with accepting that she couldn't be her own boss anymore. She knew that she had to give up living for herself and live for Christ and she just wasn't sure that she wanted to do that. When I asked her to obey she would say things like, "I don't like God right now, He wants me to obey you." She had to give up control, and that just wasn't something that she liked to do (I know, that sounds rather familiar...she does get control issues from her mom). When she finally let go, the change in her attitude was miraculous. She didn't become the perfect child, but she struggles and tries to persevere when control is the issue. That struggle gives me hope. I watch the Holy Spirit work in her life and I know He is there. It's amazing what God can do with a kid like her.
As Becca began her school career, she saw it as a mission field. She wanted to share Jesus with her friends. It was awesome to see her talk to the other 5 year olds about Christ. Most of the time they didn't understand what she was saying, but she was awfully smart and hadn't figured out that the other kids didn't know some things yet.
Let me back up just a bit...okay, a lot. Tony was 9 years old when he felt that God called him to full time ministry. He didn't know what that looked like at the time, but he knew that God called him. When Tony was a teenager, he did a few mission trips with Teen Missions International. They are an interdenominational, Christ-centered group that takes groups of teens (and really all ages) around the world to spread the Gospel. Since Tony has done the trips before, Teen Missions sends him a brochure every year that tells about the different groups and where they will be going the following year. Becca saw one of these brochures and knew that she had to go...at 6.
Okay, you can read my response in my previous blog about this, but seriously, I'm kind of freaking out. I think the thing that freaked me out the most was that I knew that God wanted me to say yes and let her go. I didn't like that idea.
When the brochure came the next year, Becca asked again. She knew it was something that God wanted her to do. I had to cave. I talked to Tony about it. I told him that I didn't like it that we are sending her so young and his response was "I'm surprised it took us this long to let her go."
So fast forward to Christmas. I sent in the packet and got her registered. She was set to go, but she had to raise some money. This turned out to be a breeze for her. Becca has no problems with fundraising. She took the determination and the ideas that she got from selling Girl Scout Cookies the year before and took off with it. She did cleaning, made cookies to sell, did a Goodwill drive, and just plain asked people for money. When it started to add up she figured that it would be easy for her to come up with the $3000 that it would take to go on the Preteen trips that actually take her out of the country when she is old enough to go (at 10!). Mommy wasn't ready to hear that yet!
So here we are. We leave Sunday on our epic road trip. We drop her off for a week the following Sunday. Am I ready yet? Nope. I'm driving myself nuts with the magnitude of all of this.
Our pastor asked if Becca would share about her mission trip on Sunday in front of the church. This would freak out most kids, but Becca is excited.
See how blessed I am with this girl? I knew from the start with her that she was special...and a handful, but I had no idea what I was really getting into. I'm just glad that God has her in His hands because I can't seem to keep her in mine.
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