This definition comes from the online dictionary that I often use.
parent
–noun
–adjective
–verb (used with object)
| 1. | a father or a mother. |
| 2. | an ancestor, precursor, or progenitor. |
| 3. | a source, origin, or cause. |
| 4. | a protector or guardian. |
| 5. | Biology. any organism that produces or generates another. |
| 6. | Physics. the first nuclide in a radioactive series. |
| 7. | being the original source: a parent organization. |
| 8. | Biology. pertaining to an organism, cell, or complex molecular structure that generates or produces another: parent cell; parent DNA. |
| 9. | to be or act as parent of: to parent children with both love and discipline. |
[Origin: 1375–1425; late ME (<>parent- (s. of paréns), n. use of prp. of parere to bring forth, breed
]
] So if the definition of parent is all about biology, then anyone who has taken part in the conception of a child is considered a parent. If that is the case, then there are quite a few people out there who would be considered to be "good" at that. However, there are many people who would argue that just because your body has been used to create and/or support life, doesn't make you a good parent.
If parent is defined as a protector or guardian, then I suppose that would exclude anyone who has not taken parenting past conception. Of course, there are those who are considered to be parents as guardians or protectors without having anything to do with conception.
So, what is a parent? How does one become a good one?
I ask these questions because I received a comment yesterday that I am a good parent. What does that mean? I can accept the fact that I am good at conceiving children (obvious), I'm even good at giving birth. I feed and clothe and protect my children, but does that make me a good parent? What about those in the world who feed or clothe or protect their children because of reasons beyond their control? Does that make them bad parents?
I pondered this for a while, and I still can't think of a good definition of a good parent. I came up with several definitions until I found a case of a good parent that didn't fit that definition. I figured that it depended on how you define parent, but with so many definitions, a good parent can mean many things.
Case #1
I know a woman who "accidentally" got pregnant (ok, she wasn't the brightest crayon in the box, and the "accident" comment comes directly from her. I don't actually believe in accidental conception...sex leads to pregnancy, sometimes even if contraception is used). She does not believe in abortion, but she still didn't want the baby. She doesn't like kids. Yep,I totally mean that in the present tense. She really doesn't like kids, even after having one. She tried her hardest to like this baby, but no matter what she did, she just couldn't bond. She just didn't like the child. She started looking at her options. She went to the baby's father and told him about the baby, and that she was going to give the child up. The father took one look at the child and bonded, and he ended up with full custody, and the "mother" doesn't visit.
I don't know if you see it or not, but I think that this woman is, in her own way, a good parent. She doesn't like the kid, never really wanted the child, but still did so much for the little life that she didn't want. Now, I know that the child may never see the biological mother as a "good parent," but when you really look at her, you can see it.
Case #2
A mother of 5 spends 12-15 hours a day working ouside of the home, and during that time, her kids are all in daycare. Her preschoolers are not always bathed, but they are happy and obedient. Their mother is by herself now that her latest boyfriend moved out, and that is why she has to work such long hours. She would like to spend more time with her kids, but working all the time makes her tired. She lost her job that payed better because she ran out of sick leave last time her kids had the flu, and when she got the bug, she just couldn't get out of bed to get to work. The manager told her not to come back. Now she has two not so good jobs, pays the bills, but when her kids want to play, she is just too exhausted. Still, she makes sure her kids have their homework done, and faithfully reads to them every night. She wants to do so much more, but just can't find the energy.
Can you find the good parent in that picture? Yep, she made some poor choices. Yep, I think that there are areas where improvement can be made, but I can still see the good parent.
Case #3
This woman has 2 children. One boy, one girl. They are in the smart kids classes. They are both great at their respective sports that they are faithful to. Their mother is a SAHM, and cares for her exceptionally tidy home. She plays with her kids when she has time, and does what she can if they need help.
Yet another good parent. One might consider that to be obvious compared to the others, though. It does something to the definition, though.
Case #4
This mom and dad both work full time jobs outside of the home. They love their kids, but neither of them want to stay at home with them. Their kids kinda struggle in school, but their parents got them into tutoring.
I know, I didn't really describe much here, but I don't know a whole lot more than that. I still consider them good parents.
Case #5
Me. Well, you can read my description of myself in my bio.
I'm sure you get my point. There is something wrong with everyone on the list. Some seem like there is much more wrong with them than others. Some are good parents on the outside...some will never hear anyone complimenting them on their parenting. I still think that they are all good parents. There never has been a perfect parent, with the exception of God the Father. Still, something horrible happened to His Child when He was watching, and He allowed it to happen.
I guess that I should probably just take the supposed compliment as intended, but I think too much. I can't think of a good verse right now that will sum this up. If you can think of some good scripture, please post it for me. I know that there are many instructions for parents in the Bible, and many for children, but that isn't really the same. Hmm...I'm going to ponder this more...maybe I'll search a little more and then edit.
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